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12 Things To Remember If You Love A Person With Anorexia

12 Things To Remember If You Love A Person With Anorexia

Do you know someone who suffers from anorexia? It is an eating disorder and while you may think this is a relatively rare condition, the fact is that 1 in 2 people in the USA either have suffered from an eating disorder or know someone who does. According to The National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, there are 24 million people in the USA alone who are struggling with these disorders.

The problem is that myths abound about these disorders which lead to ignorance, stigma and difficulty in seeking treatment. These disorders are serious illnesses, yet they are often dismissed as minor mental ticks!

Here are 12 things to keep in mind if you love or know someone with anorexia. Knowledge is empowerment.

1. They are trying to cope with life challenges.

A person with anorexia is not eating properly because that may be the only way she or he can cope with some deeper and more difficult issues. The incidents with purging, bulimia and fasting are all just external symptoms of a deep seated mental illness.

Too often, people dismiss anorexics as being obsessed with their body image and merely vain.

2. They have been subjected to false media messages.

Many teenage girls have been blasted with media messages which emphasize that you have to be skinny to be successful. We all know about TV ads and other social media spouting these messages. But there are more subtle ways that youth leaders, coaches and even teachers are inadvertently drawing attention to teens’ body images.

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We only have to think about certain sports which focus too much on weight, not to mention dance studios and gyms which are covered in mirrors. You cannot escape them!

3. They are not going through a phase.

Anorexia can be successfully treated and should not be dismissed as a phase or a fad. That is what psychiatrists and psychologists who are treating this disease have to get across to parents, teachers and other leaders that the youth look up to. This is a mental illness and is much more complicated than getting an anorexia sufferer to eat.

It is a complex condition which requires a type of multidisciplinary treatment such as REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy). This can help to curb the irrational beliefs and self-defeating behaviors that many sufferers have to go through.

4. They have to survive in a calorie counting world.

As well as the images of skinny people being superior, anorexics have to cope with the weight watching police. Not actual officers of course, but calories on every item of food sold are there to remind us not to step out of line.

There is a national obsession with weight. It is high time we changed the emphasis and started to talk about health instead.

5. They may have to analyze their childhood.

There are many types of treatments available for those suffering from anorexia. One popular option is the FPT (Focal Psychodynamic Therapy). The sufferer is helped to identify childhood conflicts in childhood which remained unresolved.

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Once that is done, they are helped to manage stressful situations and negative thinking. Most people are unaware of the effects of a traumatic childhood.

6. They need to get their story out.

If you read Katie Metcalfe’s book, Anorexia – A Stranger in the Family, you will begin to understand the obsessions, and the voices that control an anorexic’s life. It is truly a harrowing story but also one of hope of how Katie overcame her anorexia and fully recovered.

It’s alarming to read how it was only after a heart attack that her doctor started to take notice that something was really wrong. The book also recounts how bullying at school led her to diet and exercise excessively. These are the true stories of the mindset of anorexia sufferers that need to be told again and again.

7. They want control.

Let us imagine that the problems and causes of anorexia are either hidden or denied. They cannot control the loneliness, the insecurity and the low self-esteem. One thing that the sufferer can control is what he or she eats.

The sense of achievement in watching the number of pounds in the scale going down and the perfect image staring back at her in the mirror gives a sense of empowerment. The obsession also drowns all the other, deeper sorrow and grief.

With effective treatment, these sufferers can replace self-deception with new purpose and a will to start living again.

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8. They need the help of their family.

I knew one family who never accepted that their daughter was anorexic. They just buried their heads in the sand but the father had to pay out a fortune to have his daughter’s teeth redone as a result of her gums receding too far back from her teeth. They saw it as another expense.

Thankfully, the daughter has stabilized but not thanks to her family. It is essential that families are involved because they need to address how anorexia is affecting their lives and the life of the sufferer, what they need to know and how they can help.

9. They must learn that self acceptance is key.

An integral part of any therapy program will help guide the sufferer toward self-acceptance. Every person is a complex mix of dimensions and emotions.

Labelling a person as fat or thin is superficial and is rife. The patient learns that their own perception of their body image is a bit distorted, so learning to correct that view is also essential.

10. They will resort to secrecy and deception.

Anorexia sufferers will go to any lengths to hide their weight loss. They may put on extra layers of clothes when they are being weighed. Family members will also be almost forced to be deceptive as they try to add cream and fat to their food so that they will put on weight.

There is no true understanding of how the anorexic feels. There is a very telling line from Hilary Mantel’s story about anorexia in the movie “The Heart Fails Without Warning”where the doctor treating the patient says:

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“When she looks in a mirror, God knows what she sees. You can’t get hold of it, can you, what goes on in that head of hers? She imagines things that aren’t there.”

11. They have an excellent chance of recovery if they have treatment early on.

Many anorexics go on hiding their condition for years. They think they can sort it out themselves. And many families are unaware of the gravity of this illness. These two factors are a deadly combination. When anorexia is discovered early on, then there is an excellent chance of recovery.

They will be getting the support of a psychologist, nutritionist and loved ones as they start to recover. But there are three things for them to consider:

  1. They will need to regain control of healthy eating habits.
  2. They have to learn how to look after their emotional well being.
  3. And above all, they will need to learn to trust their loved ones who are supporting them.

12. They can be treated in a special residential treatment center.

There may be cases where the patient’s family situation or her general health warrants admittance to a specialized clinic. The patient is then assisted by a wide range of experts who work in tandem to ensure that the patient improves in a relaxed and caring setting.

And luckily, some of these centers may be covered by private health insurance.

Let us know in the comments how you helped a loved one to recover from anorexia.

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Featured photo credit: Naked skinny woman sitting on a wooden chest via shutterstock.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on July 12, 2021

100 Incredible Life Hacks That Make Life So Much Easier

100 Incredible Life Hacks That Make Life So Much Easier

Want to learn some quick and easy life hacks that are easy to do, low cost and saves you time?

By tweaking little things in your daily life, it can make your life much more convenient!

Here’re 100 of the most practical life hacks so you can just pick up any of them right away!

83 tie a small piece of bright colored fabric

    84 write random letter

      85 use a rubberband

        86 dorm smell bad

          87 lean your phone on your sunglassess

            89 how to waterproof your shoes

              90 take a picture of the name card

                91 iron inside out

                  92 old newspaper

                    93 tumble try shoes

                      keep a card like this

                        SONY DSC

                          94 soap bar

                            95 make a hole

                              96 drop the battery

                                97 use a coozie

                                  98 when taking a picture

                                    use a clean dust pan

                                      try a pants hanger

                                        use your cellphone light

                                          use a spring from an old pen

                                            quick and easy iphone speaker

                                              user binder clips

                                                wrap a wet paper towel around your beverage

                                                  put pancake mix in a ketchup bottle

                                                    clean out an old lotion bottle for your beach

                                                      use a muffin tin to serve condiments at a bbq

                                                        doritos are great for kindling

                                                          use nail polish to identify different keys

                                                            use a hanging shoe rack to store cleaning supplies

                                                              freeze grapes to chill white wine without

                                                                use paper clips to organize your cables

                                                                  almost finished your jar of nutella

                                                                    sick of having a box full of tangled

                                                                      unroll the rim to increase the capacity

                                                                        cut open toilet paper rolls and use as a cuff

                                                                          remove the stem from strawberries

                                                                            turn an old bottle into a simple little cord holder

                                                                              for iced coffee and iced cappuccino, use frozen coffee cubes

                                                                                how to fold a fitted bed sheet

                                                                                  tired of snoozing past your alarm

                                                                                    place a rubber band around an open paint can to wipe your brush on

                                                                                      ut a wooden spoon across a boiling pot

                                                                                        use bread clips to save flip-flops

                                                                                          take pictures of friends holding items

                                                                                            how i always know which headphone is the left one

                                                                                              put a stocking over the end of a vacuum

                                                                                                How to make sure you drink enough water

                                                                                                  user a can opener to open blister

                                                                                                    good sandwich guide

                                                                                                      turn your muffin pans upside down

                                                                                                        50 pounds of groceries and living on the 5th floor

                                                                                                          the right way to make a blt

                                                                                                            add one teaspoon of baking soda

                                                                                                              38

                                                                                                                hair straighteners equals to collar irons

                                                                                                                  stack your clothes vertically to see them all

                                                                                                                    the right way to make cookies in the summer

                                                                                                                      how to clean a blender

                                                                                                                        the right way to eat a popsicle

                                                                                                                          use bread clips to label and organize power cords

                                                                                                                            to get the built up residue off of your shower head

                                                                                                                              user a hair clip to orgainize long wires

                                                                                                                                a frozen saturated sponge in a bag

                                                                                                                                  rub stuck zipper teeth with a graphite pencil

                                                                                                                                    use a soda pop tab

                                                                                                                                      50

                                                                                                                                        51 How to multiply large numbers in your head.

                                                                                                                                          52 How to open a bottle if you dont have a corkscrew.

                                                                                                                                            rub a walnut on damaged wooden furniture

                                                                                                                                              kids fall out of bed

                                                                                                                                                use toothpaste to clear up hazy car

                                                                                                                                                  58

                                                                                                                                                    59 keep pizza out while driving home

                                                                                                                                                      60 put your straw through the tab to keep it from rising

                                                                                                                                                        hold oreos with a fork so your fingers

                                                                                                                                                          Never lose your remotes again

                                                                                                                                                            hiding your emergency money

                                                                                                                                                              use a bread tab to hold your spot on a roll

                                                                                                                                                                if you are at a hotel and run out of chargers

                                                                                                                                                                  keep a square of cardboard in a ziplock bag

                                                                                                                                                                    If you need to pee or smoke at a bar

                                                                                                                                                                      drill holes in the bottom of your garbage

                                                                                                                                                                        use an accented letter as your passcode

                                                                                                                                                                          use a squeeze ketchup bottle top with your shopvac

                                                                                                                                                                            do something unusual when locking the door

                                                                                                                                                                              when heating leftovers space out a circle in the middle

                                                                                                                                                                                dont burn yourself in those hard to reach candles

                                                                                                                                                                                  put a small amount of water in a glass when you microwave your pizza

                                                                                                                                                                                    75 use a piece of paper to organize

                                                                                                                                                                                      use half a pool noodle

                                                                                                                                                                                        pencil case to store cables

                                                                                                                                                                                          78 clothespin to hold nail

                                                                                                                                                                                            79 make blts

                                                                                                                                                                                              80 take a picture of your fridge

                                                                                                                                                                                                81 fill plastic water bottles

                                                                                                                                                                                                  82 right ways to eat chips

                                                                                                                                                                                                    99 if your plug keeps failing

                                                                                                                                                                                                      100 put the banana on the wire

                                                                                                                                                                                                        88 before you throw away a post it

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Source: Reddit LifeProTips

                                                                                                                                                                                                          There you go, 100 awesome life hacks that you can try right now to make your life a lot easier!

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