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10 Toxic Habits of Unhealthy People

10 Toxic Habits of Unhealthy People

Unhealthy people have toxic habits that keep them unhealthy. Avoid these 10 toxic habits to ensure that you are living life to your full potential.

1. Always Assume the Worst

Unhealthy people always assume that the worst. They assume no one will like them, that they’ll always mess up, and that they’ll never be successful in their efforts. They predict others have evil intentions and they always predict the worst possible scenarios will come true.

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2. Possess an External Locus of Control

People with an external locus of control think that everything that happens to them is fate. They believe they just have bad luck and that they have no control over what happens to them in life. As a result, they take little responsibility for what happens in their lives and blame everyone else for their misfortune.

3. Believe in the Latest Health Fads

Toxic people tend to jump on board with the latest health fads without conducting any research on their own. If someone makes a claim a that a new product can offer miraculous results, they’ll buy it. They aren’t able to critically analyze whether or not a product is likely to produce the results that are claimed.

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4. Look for the Easy Way Out

They want quick and fast solutions. They expect immediate results and don’t believe that hard work will get them to where they want to be. Instead, they expect that if something is going to change, it should happen now.

5. Don’t Set Goals for Themselves

Toxic people don’t create goals for themselves. They don’t work toward reaching anything in life. Often, they can say that they want things to be better but they don’t try to establish strategies to help improve their situation.

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6. Feel Jealous of Others Success

They tend to feel jealous when other people are successful. They often feel angered by people who are more attractive, earn more money, or have a better life. They don’t stop to look at the hard work a person has put in to gain that success, but instead believe that it isn’t fair that the same success hasn’t come their way.

7. Blame Their Health on Genetics

They don’t tend to take responsibility for their health. Instead, they blame their weight or illness on genetics. They think that if they had a mother with diabetes, they’re doomed to have it to. Instead of recognizing their genes may help them identify risk factors, they just presume that their genes make their health problems inevitable and they make no attempts to remedy the situation.

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8. Don’t Listen to Knowledgeable Experts

Toxic people tend to dismiss the advice they receive from knowledgeable experts. They don’t listen to doctors, dentists, therapists, or financial counselors. They write these people off as “stupid” and tend to want to dispute any advice that encourages them to take responsibility for their own behavior.

9. Avoid Creative Problem-Solving

Unhealthy people tend to think there is just one way to solve a problem. If that solution doesn’t work, they don’t try to resolve the problem in another way. As a result, they often remain stuck because they can’t get around a problem by using creativity. Almost any problem has multiple solutions and a little creativity can go a long way to finding solutions but toxic people prefer to avoid attempting to resolve them.

10. Gossip About Everyone and Everything 

Instead of focusing on how to improve their lives, they focus on judging everyone else. They revel in other people’s problems and mistakes and announce their business to the world. They spread rumors and take great joy in gossiping about others. Instead of trying to improve their own lives, they spend their time talking about what others should be doing differently.

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Amy Morin

A psychotherapist, psychology instructor, keynote speaker, and the author of the bestselling book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong How to Think Positive Thoughts When Feeling Negative 12 Ways To Improve Social Skills And Make You Sociable Anytime 6 Mistakes That Keep You Struggling in Life And Stuck 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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