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10 Things You Shouldn’t Do If You’re Stressed Out

10 Things You Shouldn’t Do If You’re Stressed Out

Stress can wreak havoc on your decision-making skills. Everyone has made a poor decision at some point because they were overwhelmed by life. Sometimes, those decisions pay off. More often then not, though, we’re prone to doing crazy things when we’re feeling stressed that only adds more stress later. Take a look at 10 things you absolutely should not do if you’re stressed out.

Rehash the issue with anyone who will listen

Do yourself and your friends a favor: don’t beat the proverbial dead horse. You’re stressed, they get it. Really, how many times can you discuss the same problem with the same people? Find one person who can be your sounding board and lay out the issue one time. Only go back to it if you’ve found new insight. By discussing it repeatedly, you’re not only driving your friends bonkers, you’re keeping the source of stress at the front of your mind. This makes it difficult for you to focus on new ideas.

Drown your troubles in a bottle

Alcohol is rarely a good answer to your woes. You can’t run away from your problems by forgetting them through a booze-induced blackout. The stress will still be there in the morning, along with nausea, a headache, and the sinking feeling that you did something you’re glad you don’t remember. This goes for drugs and over-eating too. Just say no.

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Dwell on it all night

Sleep is a precious commodity when you’re stressed out. It’s too tempting to lay in bed worrying all night long. Missing out on sleep can actually make you feel more stressed. Sleep deprivation can interfere with your ability to think clearly. You need your brain in optimal working condition to find the answer to resolve your stress.

Be afraid to say no

When you’re already stressed out, taking on more than you can handle makes it worse. Don’t be afraid to say no to a new project or a major favor. Give yourself a break to explore your own ideas. If you feel really bad about it, you can always resolve to help out later.

Take it out on others

Snapping at friends and family isn’t going to help reduce your stress. In fact, it will likely add to it. If you feel yourself gearing up for a fight, walk away. Friendships can recover from time apart a lot easier than they can from a harsh fight.

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Make major life decisions

Good life decisions rarely come from rash actions. While packing up all your belongings and running away to Madagascar may seem like a dandy idea at the time, you’ll regret it later. The only exception to this is making decisions that directly impact your stress level, like taking a new job or ending a toxic relationship.

Let yourself go

As tempting as it is to give up showering, shaving, and getting dressed, avoid letting yourself go. Taking care of your basic hygiene needs not only makes you more pleasant to be around, it gives you a sense of control over your routine. You may not be able to control the stock market, but you can choose which shampoo you’ll use in the morning.

Procrastinate

Don’t put things off because you are too stressed out to focus. Instead, force your mind to hone in on each task on your to-do list. Getting things done gives you a sense of accomplishment, which helps reduce your stress a bit. On the flip side, putting things off creates a backlog that adds to your stress.

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Forget to relax

You can’t focus on your stress every minute of every day. Force yourself to relax for at least an hour each day. Watch TV. Read a book. Meditate. If you find yourself going back to your problems, push it out of your mind and promise yourself to think about it later. Spending 24-7 trying to resolve stress is just going to cost you an expensive trip to a padded room.

Keep doing exactly what you’ve been doing

Face it, your methods of dealing with stress apparently aren’t working if you’re still feeling stressed out. The colloquial definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results. Don’t be insane. Try something different. If it fails, try something else.

Avoiding doing these things when you’re stressed out will go a long way to getting you out of your rut. Even better, it will ensure that you don’t completely burn bridges that you may need once you’re back on track.

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Featured photo credit: thornypup via flickr.com

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Last Updated on February 15, 2019

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

In Personal Development-speak, we are always talking about goals, outcomes, success, desires and dreams. In other words, all the stuff we want to do, achieve and create in our world.

And while it’s important for us to know what we want to achieve (our goal), it’s also important for us to understand why we want to achieve it; the reason behind the goal or some would say, our real goal.

Why is goal setting important?

1. Your needs and desire will be fulfilled.

Sometimes when we explore our “why”, (why we want to achieve a certain thing) we realize that our “what” (our goal) might not actually deliver us the thing (feeling, emotion, internal state) we’re really seeking.

For example, the person who has a goal to lose weight in the belief that weight loss will bring them happiness, security, fulfillment, attention, popularity and the partner of their dreams. In this instance, their “what” is weight-loss and their “why” is happiness (etc.) and a partner.

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Six months later, they have lost the weight (achieved their goal) but as is often the case, they’re not happier, not more secure, not more confident, not more fulfilled and in keeping with their miserable state, they have failed to attract their dream partner.

After all, who wants to be with someone who’s miserable? They achieved their practical goal but still failed to have their needs met.

So they set a goal to lose another ten pounds. And then another. And maybe just ten more. With the destructive and erroneous belief that if they can get thin enough, they’ll find their own personal nirvana. And we all know how that story ends.

2. You’ll find out what truly motivates you

The important thing in the process of constructing our best life is not necessarily what goals we set (what we think we want) but what motivates us towards those goals (what we really want).

The sooner we begin to explore, identify and understand what motivates us towards certain achievements, acquisitions or outcomes (that is, we begin moving towards greater consciousness and self awareness), the sooner we will make better decisions for our life, set more intelligent (and dare I say, enlightened) goals and experience more fulfilment and less frustration.

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We all know people who have achieved what they set out to, only to end up in the same place or worse (emotionally, psychologically, sociologically) because what they were chasing wasn’t really what they were needing.

What we think we want will rarely provide us with what we actually need.

3. Your state of mind will be a lot healthier

We all set specific goals to achieve/acquire certain things (a job, a car, a partner, a better body, a bank balance, a title, a victory) because at some level, most of us believe (consciously or not) that the achievement of those goals will bring us what we really seek; joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

Of course, setting practical, material and financial goals is an intelligent thing to do considering the world we live in and how that world works.

But setting goals with an expectation that the achievement of certain things in our external, physical world will automatically create an internal state of peace, contentment, joy and total happiness is an unhealthy and unrealistic mindset to inhabit.

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What you truly want and need

Sometimes we need to look beyond the obvious (superficial) goals to discover and secure what we really want.

Sadly, we live in a collective mindset which teaches that the prettiest and the wealthiest are the most successful.

Some self-help frauds even teach this message. If you’re rich or pretty, you’re happy. If you’re both, you’re very happy. Pretty isn’t what we really want; it’s what we believe pretty will bring us. Same goes with money.

When we cut through the hype, the jargon and the self-help mumbo jumbo, we all have the same basic goals, desires and needs:

Joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

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Nobody needs a mansion or a sport’s car but we all need love.

Nobody needs massive pecs, six percent body-fat, a face lift or bigger breasts but we all need connection, acceptance and understanding.

Nobody needs to be famous but we all need peace, calm, balance and happiness.

The problem is, we live in a culture which teaches that one equals the other. If only we lived in a culture which taught that real success is far more about what’s happening in our internal environment, than our external one.

It’s a commonly-held belief that we’re all very different and we all have different goals — whether short term or long term goals. But in many ways we’re not, and we don’t; we all want essentially the same things.

Now all you have to do is see past the fraud and deception and find the right path.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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