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10 Common Mistakes Every Parent Has Made At Least Once

10 Common Mistakes Every Parent Has Made At Least Once

There’s no such thing as a 100% perfect parent – everybody makes mistakes. Maybe you are about to have a child, or you already have one but are still keen to improve your parenting skills. Well, remember, mistakes happen and it does not mean that you are a bad parent.

Learn from these 10 common mistakes every parent has made, and make use of our helpful tips on what to do so you can minimize making these parenting mistakes yourself.

Mistake #1: Getting overly stressed out when your baby is crying

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    Most parents associate crying with the thought that they are doing something wrong and need to fix it asap. But most of the time that is just not true. Babies can be perfectly diapered and fed and still cry because that’s the way babies communicate. It doesn’t mean you are doing something wrong.

    What should you do instead?

    Be calm. For the most part, crying is just part of being a baby. But if your infant is inconsolable for a long time, or has fever, a rash, a swollen belly or is vomiting, then you need to call your pediatrician to see if everything is okay.

    Mistake #2: Waking your baby from sleep, just to breastfeed him or her

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      Some parents think that one breastfeed is not enough to get an infant through the night. However, breastfed babies can – and should – sleep through the night. There are no studies that show that babies will starve unless they are fed in the middle of the night!

      What should you do instead?

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      Let the baby sleep anyway. Both you and the baby will benefit from some extra sleep.

      Mistake #3: Thinking that a fever in a newborn is nothing serious and will go away by itself

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        Any fever over 100.4 Celsius rectally in the first three months of a baby’s life is an emergency. The one exception is a fever that develops within 24 hours after an infant’s first set of immunizations. Some parents may just say the baby ‘feels warm’ and give them Tylenol. But that’s a parenting mistake in this age group. An infant’s immune system is not set up to handle an infection on its own.

        What should you do instead?

        If your child feels warm, take their temperature. If the temperature is above 100.4C, it is something serious, so call your pediatrician immediately.

        Mistake #4: Not properly installing the baby car seat

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          Many parents, especially new parents, don’t really know how to install a baby seat properly. They might think that they have done it correctly, but many times that’s not the case. This simple mistake can cost lives. Do not be the parent that makes this fatal mistake.

          What you should do instead?

          Your infant’s life depend on it, so check with the store that you have installed the baby car seat properly.

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          Mistake #5: Neglecting your children’s oral care

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            We all know how important oral care is for humans. But we often underestimate the importance of oral care for our children. We may think that since they are very young, they are still clean and less likely to get tooth and gum diseases. However, this is not the case.

            What should you do instead?

            Your baby is never too young for you to start encouraging good oral health habits. Use wet gauze to wipe down your baby’s gums. Start using a toothbrush when the baby turns one.

            Mistake #6: Rushing your kids through childhood

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              Raising small children can be hard, monotonous work. At times it’s so physically and emotionally exhausting we wish they were older to make our life easier. Many parents make a mistake by rushing their children through childhood.

              What should you do instead?

              Let your child enjoy the wonder of childhood. Childhood is a time for free play and discovery. When we rush children through it, we rob them of an innocent age that they’ll never pass through again.

              Mistake #7: Teaching your kids unhealthy competition, simply because you are highly competitive

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                Every parent has a competitive streak. However, sometimes it simply goes too far. For example, if your kid loses in a swimming competition and you get angry because you think he’s not as good as his friend … Well, don’t be!

                Children need to work hard and understand that dreams don’t come on a silver platter; they have to sweat and fight for them. But when we instill a “win at all costs” attitude, permitting them to throw anyone under the bus to get ahead, we lose sight of the importance of character. Character may not seem important in adolescence, but in adulthood it’s everything.

                What should you do instead?

                Teach your kids to be competitive while being respectful to the other competitors. Ask them to congratulate the winner when they lose. Teach them the meaning of healthy competition.

                Mistake #8: Forgetting that your actions speak louder than words

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                  You may think that you have taught a lot of life lessons to your children, but did you know that your children learn more from your actions than your words? If you want your children to be wonderful, you need to aim for wonderful in yourself, too. You need to be the person you hope they will be. Are you telling them to keep their room clean while your own room is a mess? Make sure that your actions are good examples for them.

                  What should you do instead?

                  Talk is cheap, action is valuable. Don’t just talk them about something, show them how it should be done.

                  Mistake #9: Raising the child we want, not the child we have

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                    As parents we harbor dreams for our children. They start when we get pregnant, before the gender’s even known. Every parent wants their children to be the best that they can be. But the irony of parenting is that children turn our molds upside down. They come out wired in ways we never anticipated.

                    What should you do instead?

                    Our job is to figure out their natural talents and train them in that direction. Forcing our dreams on them won’t work. Only when we see them for who they are can we impact their life powerfully.

                    Mistake #10: Believing our child is perfect

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                      One thing I often hear from professionals who work with children, such as counselors and teachers, is that parents today don’t want to hear anything negative about their child. When concerns are raised, even concerns voiced out of love, the knee-jerk reaction is often to attack the messenger.

                      What  should you do instead?

                      The truth can hurt, but when we listen with an open heart and mind we stand to benefit. We can intervene early before a situation gets out of hand. It’s easier to deal with a troubled child than repair a broken adult.

                      So, which parenting mistake can you relate most? Tell me in the comments section below.

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                      Last Updated on January 21, 2020

                      The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

                      The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

                      Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

                      your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

                        Why You Need a Vision

                        Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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                        How to Create Your Life Vision

                        Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

                        What Do You Want?

                        The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

                        It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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                        Some tips to guide you:

                        • Remember to ask why you want certain things
                        • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
                        • Give yourself permission to dream.
                        • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
                        • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

                        Some questions to start your exploration:

                        • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
                        • What would you like to have more of in your life?
                        • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
                        • What are your secret passions and dreams?
                        • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
                        • What do you want your relationships to be like?
                        • What qualities would you like to develop?
                        • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
                        • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
                        • What would you most like to accomplish?
                        • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

                        It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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                        What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

                        Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

                        A few prompts to get you started:

                        • What will you have accomplished already?
                        • How will you feel about yourself?
                        • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
                        • What does your ideal day look like?
                        • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
                        • What would you be doing?
                        • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
                        • How are you dressed?
                        • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
                        • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
                        • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

                        It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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                        Plan Backwards

                        It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

                        • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
                        • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
                        • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
                        • What important actions would you have had to take?
                        • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
                        • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
                        • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
                        • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
                        • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

                        Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

                        It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

                        Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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