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If You’re Trying To Discover Life Purpose – Read This

If You’re Trying To Discover Life Purpose – Read This

“Realize what you really want. It stops you from chasing butterflies and puts you to work digging gold.” ~ William Moulton Marsden

Trying to discover your life’s purpose can be frustrating if you don’t know where to start. It all begins when you know there is more to life and more to who you are. You are that person who can go out there and make a difference in the world by finding purpose and being on the right path. You have everything you need right now for that discovery. In this post you will discover your purpose by taking action steps that will help you get there. See this as a mini course because when you’re done reading (and writing), you will have discovered things about yourself you probably didn’t think of as important until now.

Do what makes you unique

Your uniqueness often means to non-conform with the rest of the world. Find your own strengths, passions and values. Walk away from what seems conventional and follow you heart, blazing your own trail.

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Use your own guidance

Get in touch with your feelings how you feel when you’re doing something? This may be in your job, when doing a task or hobby. When do you lose track of time? What are you doing? Keep a notebook handy or use your phone to record these moments. Because feelings are the key to doing what you love (or don’t like). Do the things you love more often by being conscious of how you feel when doing something.

When you were a child, what did you dream of doing when older?

(Before other people crushed this idea) Create quiet time because we are about to go back to when your imagination would go wild and create images of you doing amazing things. What was it that you told everyone you wanted to be? What did you love to do? Where did you love to go?

What do you really love to do?

No seriously, have you ever asked yourself this question and answered honestly? Do it now.

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Ask yourself what you’d do if there were no limitations.

What if I told you there were no limits – only the ones you keep placing on yourself stopping you from moving forward. For this exercise create two columns on a piece of paper, with your main goal at the top. In the first column write down a list of ways you WILL complete the goal; the second column is for all the things that stop you from reaching the goal. BUT you don’t need to write anything there because every time you do think of something that will hold you back just shout “NEXT!” Then write another way you CAN get there. Then execute.

What gives you the greatest feelings of value, importance and satisfaction?

This question speaks for itself, but instead of just writing it down I’m going to ask you to lie down or sit somewhere comfortable and visualize a scenario or a few where you have felt valued, important or satisfied. Hopefully this will shed light on what you ought to be doing more often!

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Dream big

    What is one great thing you would dare to dream if you could not fail?

    If your dream is to make a big change in the world for the betterment of humanity, what makes you think you can’t. Try getting to the core of your fears then work on eliminating them one by one. Here is something that will help you: How To Live Your Dream And Overcome Fear.

    If you had all the money in the world what would you do?

    Make a list, kind of like a bucket list, and see what amazing things you would be doing. Where would you go? What kind of lifestyle would you live?

    Do you have beliefs that are holding you back?

    Is there something you really want to do but have limiting beliefs that are holding you back, because you don’t believe you are good enough? Your beliefs may seem real when in fact they’re something you have learned to accept even if they’re not true. Maybe you have a talent you don’t think is good enough. Maybe you think you won’t have enough time. Maybe you don’t think others will care. Whatever the case it’s time to step back and take a look from a different perspective and answer these questions:

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    • What would I have to believe in order to do something I am passionate about?
    • What ideas would I have to believe to follow my heart?
    • In order for me to find my purpose how do I believe that?

    Action time

    Make a list of 10 goals you would like to achieve within the next three years, in the present tense. Select the one goal from that list that would have the greatest positive impact on your life. Make a list of everything that will move you toward your goal. Determine how you will measure progress and success in achieving this goal. Write it down. Take immediate action on at least one thing.

    “The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible.” ~ Richard M. DeVos

    Featured photo credit: Michael Chen via flickr.com

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    Diana Reid

    CEO - Moxie House Ltd

    How To Find Meaning in Life: 9 Simple Ways 10 Things People Do Differently To Make Their Life Happier 15 Things Happy People Don’t Do What To Do As You Get More Stressful When Chasing Your Dreams Top 8 Reasons Why You SHOULD Get Angry

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    Last Updated on March 30, 2020

    What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

    What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

    Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

    You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

    This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

    What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

    According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

    Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

    There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

    How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

    When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

    Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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    1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

    One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

    The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

    Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

    2. Be Honest

    A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

    If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

    On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

    Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

    3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

    Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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    If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

    4. Succeed at Something

    When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

    Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

    5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

    Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

    Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

    If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

    If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

    Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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    6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

    Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

    You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

    On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

    You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

    7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

    Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

    Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

    Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

    When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

    Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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    In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

    Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

    It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

    Final Thoughts

    When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

    The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

    Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

    Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

    Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

    More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

    Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
    [2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
    [3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
    [4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
    [5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
    [6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
    [7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
    [8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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