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If You Can’t Stop Doing These 10 Things, You’re Not Ready To Get Married

If You Can’t Stop Doing These 10 Things, You’re Not Ready To Get Married

Tying the knot is a big decision, a life-changing one at that. Then why do we see some people so eager to lock it down as well as some people so afraid of marriage that they convince their friends and relatives to never ever to fall in this trap.

You must have met both the types at some point of your life or other. You may have faced the same dilemma yourself. Wondering whether this person is right for you. You love each other a lot. Nothing can go wrong. And you are gonna live happily ever after. But what if something goes wrong? What if you lose interest in each other after a few years? What will happen to our marriage?

There are no clear cut answers to those questions or definite rules according to which you can decide whether your partner is the right choice or not. But you can definitely decide a few things for yourself. If you can’t stop doing these 10 things, you’re not ready to get married.

1. You keep thinking about a future which you cannot see your partner in.

You want to become a billionaire, buy an island and travel the world but cannot speculate how your partner feels about it. You keep thinking about your own long term goals without showing much interest in his/her aims in life. These things matter a lot. If this is the case with you, you are probably more inclined to lead your life as a lone wolf.

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2. You cannot stand a single dispute or disagreement with your partner.

Instead of trying to work things out, you either tend to shut off or lose your calm and start having second thoughts about your choice. This clearly shows that you are emotionally not ready for any big fights that may come in the future after marriage. You don’t seem to understand the fact that relationships require patience and a lot of work.

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    3. You have trust issues.

    It may be that you were neglected by your mom or dad, betrayed by your best friend or dumped by your ex. You don’t seem to trust anybody other than yourself and you don’t allow anyone to come near you emotionally. You feel guarded that way. You constantly fight the urge to check on your partner’s texts, calls or emails. If you fall in this category, you are definitely not ready to get hitched at the moment.

    4. You totally avoid meeting your partner’s friends and family members.

    You feel alienated and weird around them. If you don’t want to spend a minute more than necessary with your future in-laws, you probably don’t see them as your future in-laws.

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    5. You constantly find ways to get your partner to change and cannot accept/love them for who they are.

    You feel that you do this to better your relationship. But you don’t realize that this will ultimately cause resentment on both sides. You cannot wait for him/her to get inspired to change for the better. You want to take all the matters in your hand. If this sounds familiar, you might want to think again before popping the question.

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      6. You just don’t like sharing.

      Period. Be it food, electricity bills, a new wardrobe, a few chairs, anything. It may be that you are not very confident about the whole idea of getting married, staying together, share your life, etc. You want a clear sense of who owns what.

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        7.  You are really jealous.

        It’s even cute sometimes (in limits). But if you are the person who can go to lengths to make your partner jealous despite the fact that it makes him or her very uneasy, you have huge fights with them because of this habit. If you crack jokes about breaking up or you wish to hook up with someone else, you are surely not marriage material.

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          8. You are indecisive.

          You cannot decide what to have for dinner. You are not so sure of your career choice. You have a hard time believing that someone would ask you about your opinion on something. If this is you, you need a lot of time to even start thinking about your marriage.

          9. You lie.

          Every time. When you are asked the reason of being late. When you are asked a simple question of whether you had your lunch or not. When you are asked to give your partner a lift from workplace. You make silly excuses for various stuff. You just cannot be honest. Maybe you have valid reasons for lying and cheating. But it’s not the way you want to spend your entire life, right?

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            10. You don’t want to deal with your issues and baggage.

            Probably you are too lazy to do so. But this will eventually catch up with you and you can never have a deep relationship with your partner till you clear things from your past up .

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              So, take your own time and decide what’s best for you.

              Featured photo credit: Emily Goodstein via flickr.com

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              Last Updated on January 21, 2020

              How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

              How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

              If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

              Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

              So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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              1. Listen

              Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

              2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

              Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

              “Why do you want to do that?”

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              “What makes you so excited about it?”

              “How long has that been your dream?”

              You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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              3. Encourage

              This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

              4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

              After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

              5. Dream

              This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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              6. Ask How You Can Help

              Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

              7. Follow Up

              Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

              Final Thoughts

              By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

              Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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              Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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