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If You Can’t Stop Doing These 10 Things, You’re Not Ready To Get Married

If You Can’t Stop Doing These 10 Things, You’re Not Ready To Get Married

Tying the knot is a big decision, a life-changing one at that. Then why do we see some people so eager to lock it down as well as some people so afraid of marriage that they convince their friends and relatives to never ever to fall in this trap.

You must have met both the types at some point of your life or other. You may have faced the same dilemma yourself. Wondering whether this person is right for you. You love each other a lot. Nothing can go wrong. And you are gonna live happily ever after. But what if something goes wrong? What if you lose interest in each other after a few years? What will happen to our marriage?

There are no clear cut answers to those questions or definite rules according to which you can decide whether your partner is the right choice or not. But you can definitely decide a few things for yourself. If you can’t stop doing these 10 things, you’re not ready to get married.

1. You keep thinking about a future which you cannot see your partner in.

You want to become a billionaire, buy an island and travel the world but cannot speculate how your partner feels about it. You keep thinking about your own long term goals without showing much interest in his/her aims in life. These things matter a lot. If this is the case with you, you are probably more inclined to lead your life as a lone wolf.

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2. You cannot stand a single dispute or disagreement with your partner.

Instead of trying to work things out, you either tend to shut off or lose your calm and start having second thoughts about your choice. This clearly shows that you are emotionally not ready for any big fights that may come in the future after marriage. You don’t seem to understand the fact that relationships require patience and a lot of work.

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    3. You have trust issues.

    It may be that you were neglected by your mom or dad, betrayed by your best friend or dumped by your ex. You don’t seem to trust anybody other than yourself and you don’t allow anyone to come near you emotionally. You feel guarded that way. You constantly fight the urge to check on your partner’s texts, calls or emails. If you fall in this category, you are definitely not ready to get hitched at the moment.

    4. You totally avoid meeting your partner’s friends and family members.

    You feel alienated and weird around them. If you don’t want to spend a minute more than necessary with your future in-laws, you probably don’t see them as your future in-laws.

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    5. You constantly find ways to get your partner to change and cannot accept/love them for who they are.

    You feel that you do this to better your relationship. But you don’t realize that this will ultimately cause resentment on both sides. You cannot wait for him/her to get inspired to change for the better. You want to take all the matters in your hand. If this sounds familiar, you might want to think again before popping the question.

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      6. You just don’t like sharing.

      Period. Be it food, electricity bills, a new wardrobe, a few chairs, anything. It may be that you are not very confident about the whole idea of getting married, staying together, share your life, etc. You want a clear sense of who owns what.

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        7.  You are really jealous.

        It’s even cute sometimes (in limits). But if you are the person who can go to lengths to make your partner jealous despite the fact that it makes him or her very uneasy, you have huge fights with them because of this habit. If you crack jokes about breaking up or you wish to hook up with someone else, you are surely not marriage material.

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          8. You are indecisive.

          You cannot decide what to have for dinner. You are not so sure of your career choice. You have a hard time believing that someone would ask you about your opinion on something. If this is you, you need a lot of time to even start thinking about your marriage.

          9. You lie.

          Every time. When you are asked the reason of being late. When you are asked a simple question of whether you had your lunch or not. When you are asked to give your partner a lift from workplace. You make silly excuses for various stuff. You just cannot be honest. Maybe you have valid reasons for lying and cheating. But it’s not the way you want to spend your entire life, right?

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            10. You don’t want to deal with your issues and baggage.

            Probably you are too lazy to do so. But this will eventually catch up with you and you can never have a deep relationship with your partner till you clear things from your past up .

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              So, take your own time and decide what’s best for you.

              Featured photo credit: Emily Goodstein via flickr.com

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              Last Updated on November 15, 2018

              Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

              Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

              What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

              As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

              The Success Mindset

              Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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              The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

              The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

              The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

              How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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              How To Create a Success Mindset

              People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

              1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

              How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

              A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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              There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

              2. Look For The Successes

              It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

              3. Eliminate Negativity

              You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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              When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

              4. Create a Vision

              Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

              If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

              An Inspirational Story…

              For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

              What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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