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Why You Shouldn’t Waste Time On Forced Friendships

Why You Shouldn’t Waste Time On Forced Friendships

There are some people we just don’t get on with. Not because they are necessarily toxic or bad people, but because our interests and personalities simply aren’t compatible. We can often find ourselves attempting to force a friendship to occur out of kindness or to be polite, but most of the time it probably won’t work out. Here, Elite Daily argues that you shouldn’t feel guilty about that, and life is too short for those pointless endeavours:

Vibes: the energy your immediate surroundings give off. A concept people toss around, but don’t truly understand. Whether or not you will click with someone else is completely dependent upon the vibes you both are eliciting. When you try and connect with another person and he or she is not on the same wavelength as you, you will find that the vibes you both are giving off are opposite in nature. The conversation will not flow naturally; it will be as if you are pulling teeth — it’s forced.

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“I don’t know what it is but I don’t find myself vibing with a lot of people these days. I realized that I’ve slowly and subconsciously filtered people out of my life who bring nothing to it.

I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions or unnecessary conversations. If we don’t vibrate on the same frequency there’s just no reason for us to waste our time. I’d rather have no one and wait for substance than to not feel someone and fake the funk.” – Joquesse Eugenia

This quote really puts life into perspective and shows just how powerful a person’s vibes can be. As you get older, you realize how valuable your time is and that you need to make the most of it. College and high school are parts of the past when you needed to “play nice” and to be friends with everyone in your surroundings. Now you’re an adult, living on your own, in a huge city filled with endless opportunities. You are no longer obligated to invite someone to tag along somewhere just because you have class together. You are free to make your own decisions without any pressure to include people you don’t want to associate with.

The time you spend in your twenties is mentally exhausting. You are at a point in which you are facing circumstances you never have before. You are finally self-sufficient and working towards your own income. You are reliant upon yourself and responsible for your own outcomes. If you are not happy with something that is going on in your life, it’s up to you and only you to make the necessary adjustments. If the company you keep is bringing you down or filling your life with anxiety, it’s time to make some adjustments. Don’t feel guilty for feeling this way — it is the natural progression of life.

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The people you used to hang out with usually do not fulfill the same roles now as they previously did. Maybe you don’t realize it, but chances are you are limiting your contact with these people without even knowing it. When you are exhausted and run down from your workday, you shouldn’t be reaching out to the people who will exacerbate any of your stress. Wouldn’t you rather just be alone and unwind from the day?

As lonely as this can seem, isn’t it in your best interest to be alone than with people who do not bring anything of value to your life? There’s no reason to hang out with a person just for the sake of being in the company of others. Wait to find the people or person you can just “hang” with — you know, the person, whom after you sat in complete and utter silence with, leaves you feeling that you had the most meaningful conversation of your life. Someone whose mere presence brings you comfort and ease. These are the types of people you should be spending your energy on, not the people you feel obligated to because of past history.

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When you lose touch with a friend, there usually isn’t one big incident that caused the separation. It’s just the fact that you are growing in two different directions and there really isn’t a need for that person anymore. When something huge happens in your life, you know you can still call this person, but when it comes to day-to-day life, he or she simply does not have a place anymore.

Life brings enough anxiety as it is; the people with whom you are choosing to surround yourself should not be part of it. Understanding the concept of vibes can help you determine whom to spend your time with as well. Some people cannot vibe the way others can, it’s just simply in their nature. The sooner you realize it, the more your mentality will improve. Embrace the good vibes and let go of the negative and see how much better your life will be.

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Life Is Too Short To Keep People Who Bring You Down Around | Elite Daily

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Siobhan Harmer

Siobhan is a passionate writer sharing about motivation and happiness tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on June 24, 2019

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

A study [1] published in Depression and Anxiety found that social media users are more likely to be depressed. This was just one of the huge number of studies linking social media and depression[2] . But why exactly do platforms like Facebook and Instagram make people so unhappy? Well, we don’t know yet for sure, but there are some explanations.

Social Media Could Lead to Depression

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. Social media may lead to depression in predisposed individuals or make existing symptoms of depression[3] worse explains[4] the study above’s senior author Dr. Brian Primack. So, the problem may not be in social media per se, but how we use it.

Signs You’re Suffering From “Social Media Depression”

If you feel like social media is having a negative impact on your mood, then you may be suffering from “social media depression.” Look for symptoms like:

• low self-esteem,

• negative self-talk,

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• a low mood,

• irritability,

• a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed,

• and social withdrawal.

If you’ve had these symptoms for more than two weeks and if this is how you feel most of the time, then you are likely depressed. Although “social media depression “is not a term recognized in the medical setting, social media depression seems to be a real phenomenon affecting around 50% of social media users. As explained in a review study[5] published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, if a person has a certain predisposition to depression and other mental disorders, social media use may only worsen their mental health.

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Social Media Could Crush Self-Esteem

We know that social media and depression are in some way linked, but why is this so? Well, according to Igor Pantic, MD, Ph.D.[6], social media use skews your perception about other people’s lives and traits. To explain this further, most people like to portray an idealized image of their lives, personal traits, and appearance on sites like Facebook and Instagram. If you confuse this idealized image with reality, you may be under the false impression that everyone is better than you which can crush your self-esteem and lead to depression. This is especially true for teens and young adults who are more likely to compare themselves to others. If you already suffer from low self-esteem, the illusion that everyone has it better off than you will just make you feel worse.

Causing Social Isolation and Other Negative Emotions

Another commonly cited reason for the negative impact of social media on mental health is its link with social isolation. Depressed people are more likely to isolate themselves socially and chose only to interact indirectly through social media platforms. But communication online tends to be superficial and is lacking when compared to real-life interaction explains Panic. What this means is not that social media leads to isolation but the other way around, possibly explaining why we find so many depressed persons on these sites.

Lastly, social media use may generate negative emotions in you like envy, jealousy, dislike, loneliness, and many others and this may worsen your depressive symptoms.

Why We Need to Take This Seriously

Both depression and social media use are on the rise according to epidemiological studies. Since each one has an impact on the other, we have to start thinking of healthier ways to use social media. Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to the negative impact of social media on mental health.

Advice on Social Media Use

Although these findings did not provide any cause-effect explanation regarding Facebook and depression[7], they still do prove that social media use may not be a good way to handle depression. For this reason, the leading authors of these studies gave some suggestions as to how clinicians and people can make use of such findings.

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One suggestion is that clinicians should ask patients about their social media habits. Then they can advise them on how to change their outlook on social media use or even suggest limiting their time spent on social media.

Some social media users may also exhibit addictive behavior; they may spend too much time due to compulsive urges. Any compulsive behavior is bound to lead to feelings of guilt which can worsen depressive symptoms.

Having Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media

If you feel like your relationship with social media is unhealthy, then consider the advice on healthy social media use provided by psychology experts from Links Psychology[8]:

Avoid negative social comparison – always keep in mind that how people portray themselves and their lives on social media is not a realistic picture, but rather an idealized one. Also, avoid comparing yourself to others because this behavior can lead to negative self-talk.

Remember that social media is not a replacement for real life – Social media is great for staying in touch and having fun, but it should never replace real-world interactions.

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Avoid releasing personal information – For your safety and privacy, make sure to be careful with what you post online.

Report users who bully and harass you – It’s easy to be a bully in the anonymous and distant world of social media. Don’t take such offense personally and report those who abuse social media to harass others.

The bits of advice listed above can help you establish a healthy relationship with social media. Always keep these things in mind to avoid losing an objective perspective of what social media is and how it is different from real life. If you are currently suffering from depression, talk to your doctor about what is bothering you so that you can get the treatment you need to get better. Tell your doctor about your social media use and see if they could give you some advice on this topic.

Reference

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