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Why You Shouldn’t Waste Time On Forced Friendships

Why You Shouldn’t Waste Time On Forced Friendships

There are some people we just don’t get on with. Not because they are necessarily toxic or bad people, but because our interests and personalities simply aren’t compatible. We can often find ourselves attempting to force a friendship to occur out of kindness or to be polite, but most of the time it probably won’t work out. Here, Elite Daily argues that you shouldn’t feel guilty about that, and life is too short for those pointless endeavours:

Vibes: the energy your immediate surroundings give off. A concept people toss around, but don’t truly understand. Whether or not you will click with someone else is completely dependent upon the vibes you both are eliciting. When you try and connect with another person and he or she is not on the same wavelength as you, you will find that the vibes you both are giving off are opposite in nature. The conversation will not flow naturally; it will be as if you are pulling teeth — it’s forced.

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“I don’t know what it is but I don’t find myself vibing with a lot of people these days. I realized that I’ve slowly and subconsciously filtered people out of my life who bring nothing to it.

I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions or unnecessary conversations. If we don’t vibrate on the same frequency there’s just no reason for us to waste our time. I’d rather have no one and wait for substance than to not feel someone and fake the funk.” – Joquesse Eugenia

This quote really puts life into perspective and shows just how powerful a person’s vibes can be. As you get older, you realize how valuable your time is and that you need to make the most of it. College and high school are parts of the past when you needed to “play nice” and to be friends with everyone in your surroundings. Now you’re an adult, living on your own, in a huge city filled with endless opportunities. You are no longer obligated to invite someone to tag along somewhere just because you have class together. You are free to make your own decisions without any pressure to include people you don’t want to associate with.

The time you spend in your twenties is mentally exhausting. You are at a point in which you are facing circumstances you never have before. You are finally self-sufficient and working towards your own income. You are reliant upon yourself and responsible for your own outcomes. If you are not happy with something that is going on in your life, it’s up to you and only you to make the necessary adjustments. If the company you keep is bringing you down or filling your life with anxiety, it’s time to make some adjustments. Don’t feel guilty for feeling this way — it is the natural progression of life.

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The people you used to hang out with usually do not fulfill the same roles now as they previously did. Maybe you don’t realize it, but chances are you are limiting your contact with these people without even knowing it. When you are exhausted and run down from your workday, you shouldn’t be reaching out to the people who will exacerbate any of your stress. Wouldn’t you rather just be alone and unwind from the day?

As lonely as this can seem, isn’t it in your best interest to be alone than with people who do not bring anything of value to your life? There’s no reason to hang out with a person just for the sake of being in the company of others. Wait to find the people or person you can just “hang” with — you know, the person, whom after you sat in complete and utter silence with, leaves you feeling that you had the most meaningful conversation of your life. Someone whose mere presence brings you comfort and ease. These are the types of people you should be spending your energy on, not the people you feel obligated to because of past history.

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When you lose touch with a friend, there usually isn’t one big incident that caused the separation. It’s just the fact that you are growing in two different directions and there really isn’t a need for that person anymore. When something huge happens in your life, you know you can still call this person, but when it comes to day-to-day life, he or she simply does not have a place anymore.

Life brings enough anxiety as it is; the people with whom you are choosing to surround yourself should not be part of it. Understanding the concept of vibes can help you determine whom to spend your time with as well. Some people cannot vibe the way others can, it’s just simply in their nature. The sooner you realize it, the more your mentality will improve. Embrace the good vibes and let go of the negative and see how much better your life will be.

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Life Is Too Short To Keep People Who Bring You Down Around | Elite Daily

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Siobhan Harmer

Siobhan is a passionate writer sharing about motivation and happiness tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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