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Why You Shouldn’t Waste Time On Forced Friendships

Why You Shouldn’t Waste Time On Forced Friendships

There are some people we just don’t get on with. Not because they are necessarily toxic or bad people, but because our interests and personalities simply aren’t compatible. We can often find ourselves attempting to force a friendship to occur out of kindness or to be polite, but most of the time it probably won’t work out. Here, Elite Daily argues that you shouldn’t feel guilty about that, and life is too short for those pointless endeavours:

Vibes: the energy your immediate surroundings give off. A concept people toss around, but don’t truly understand. Whether or not you will click with someone else is completely dependent upon the vibes you both are eliciting. When you try and connect with another person and he or she is not on the same wavelength as you, you will find that the vibes you both are giving off are opposite in nature. The conversation will not flow naturally; it will be as if you are pulling teeth — it’s forced.

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“I don’t know what it is but I don’t find myself vibing with a lot of people these days. I realized that I’ve slowly and subconsciously filtered people out of my life who bring nothing to it.

I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions or unnecessary conversations. If we don’t vibrate on the same frequency there’s just no reason for us to waste our time. I’d rather have no one and wait for substance than to not feel someone and fake the funk.” – Joquesse Eugenia

This quote really puts life into perspective and shows just how powerful a person’s vibes can be. As you get older, you realize how valuable your time is and that you need to make the most of it. College and high school are parts of the past when you needed to “play nice” and to be friends with everyone in your surroundings. Now you’re an adult, living on your own, in a huge city filled with endless opportunities. You are no longer obligated to invite someone to tag along somewhere just because you have class together. You are free to make your own decisions without any pressure to include people you don’t want to associate with.

The time you spend in your twenties is mentally exhausting. You are at a point in which you are facing circumstances you never have before. You are finally self-sufficient and working towards your own income. You are reliant upon yourself and responsible for your own outcomes. If you are not happy with something that is going on in your life, it’s up to you and only you to make the necessary adjustments. If the company you keep is bringing you down or filling your life with anxiety, it’s time to make some adjustments. Don’t feel guilty for feeling this way — it is the natural progression of life.

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The people you used to hang out with usually do not fulfill the same roles now as they previously did. Maybe you don’t realize it, but chances are you are limiting your contact with these people without even knowing it. When you are exhausted and run down from your workday, you shouldn’t be reaching out to the people who will exacerbate any of your stress. Wouldn’t you rather just be alone and unwind from the day?

As lonely as this can seem, isn’t it in your best interest to be alone than with people who do not bring anything of value to your life? There’s no reason to hang out with a person just for the sake of being in the company of others. Wait to find the people or person you can just “hang” with — you know, the person, whom after you sat in complete and utter silence with, leaves you feeling that you had the most meaningful conversation of your life. Someone whose mere presence brings you comfort and ease. These are the types of people you should be spending your energy on, not the people you feel obligated to because of past history.

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When you lose touch with a friend, there usually isn’t one big incident that caused the separation. It’s just the fact that you are growing in two different directions and there really isn’t a need for that person anymore. When something huge happens in your life, you know you can still call this person, but when it comes to day-to-day life, he or she simply does not have a place anymore.

Life brings enough anxiety as it is; the people with whom you are choosing to surround yourself should not be part of it. Understanding the concept of vibes can help you determine whom to spend your time with as well. Some people cannot vibe the way others can, it’s just simply in their nature. The sooner you realize it, the more your mentality will improve. Embrace the good vibes and let go of the negative and see how much better your life will be.

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Life Is Too Short To Keep People Who Bring You Down Around | Elite Daily

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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