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Why You Shouldn’t Waste Time On Forced Friendships

Why You Shouldn’t Waste Time On Forced Friendships

There are some people we just don’t get on with. Not because they are necessarily toxic or bad people, but because our interests and personalities simply aren’t compatible. We can often find ourselves attempting to force a friendship to occur out of kindness or to be polite, but most of the time it probably won’t work out. Here, Elite Daily argues that you shouldn’t feel guilty about that, and life is too short for those pointless endeavours:

Vibes: the energy your immediate surroundings give off. A concept people toss around, but don’t truly understand. Whether or not you will click with someone else is completely dependent upon the vibes you both are eliciting. When you try and connect with another person and he or she is not on the same wavelength as you, you will find that the vibes you both are giving off are opposite in nature. The conversation will not flow naturally; it will be as if you are pulling teeth — it’s forced.

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“I don’t know what it is but I don’t find myself vibing with a lot of people these days. I realized that I’ve slowly and subconsciously filtered people out of my life who bring nothing to it.

I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions or unnecessary conversations. If we don’t vibrate on the same frequency there’s just no reason for us to waste our time. I’d rather have no one and wait for substance than to not feel someone and fake the funk.” – Joquesse Eugenia

This quote really puts life into perspective and shows just how powerful a person’s vibes can be. As you get older, you realize how valuable your time is and that you need to make the most of it. College and high school are parts of the past when you needed to “play nice” and to be friends with everyone in your surroundings. Now you’re an adult, living on your own, in a huge city filled with endless opportunities. You are no longer obligated to invite someone to tag along somewhere just because you have class together. You are free to make your own decisions without any pressure to include people you don’t want to associate with.

The time you spend in your twenties is mentally exhausting. You are at a point in which you are facing circumstances you never have before. You are finally self-sufficient and working towards your own income. You are reliant upon yourself and responsible for your own outcomes. If you are not happy with something that is going on in your life, it’s up to you and only you to make the necessary adjustments. If the company you keep is bringing you down or filling your life with anxiety, it’s time to make some adjustments. Don’t feel guilty for feeling this way — it is the natural progression of life.

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The people you used to hang out with usually do not fulfill the same roles now as they previously did. Maybe you don’t realize it, but chances are you are limiting your contact with these people without even knowing it. When you are exhausted and run down from your workday, you shouldn’t be reaching out to the people who will exacerbate any of your stress. Wouldn’t you rather just be alone and unwind from the day?

As lonely as this can seem, isn’t it in your best interest to be alone than with people who do not bring anything of value to your life? There’s no reason to hang out with a person just for the sake of being in the company of others. Wait to find the people or person you can just “hang” with — you know, the person, whom after you sat in complete and utter silence with, leaves you feeling that you had the most meaningful conversation of your life. Someone whose mere presence brings you comfort and ease. These are the types of people you should be spending your energy on, not the people you feel obligated to because of past history.

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When you lose touch with a friend, there usually isn’t one big incident that caused the separation. It’s just the fact that you are growing in two different directions and there really isn’t a need for that person anymore. When something huge happens in your life, you know you can still call this person, but when it comes to day-to-day life, he or she simply does not have a place anymore.

Life brings enough anxiety as it is; the people with whom you are choosing to surround yourself should not be part of it. Understanding the concept of vibes can help you determine whom to spend your time with as well. Some people cannot vibe the way others can, it’s just simply in their nature. The sooner you realize it, the more your mentality will improve. Embrace the good vibes and let go of the negative and see how much better your life will be.

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Life Is Too Short To Keep People Who Bring You Down Around | Elite Daily

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Siobhan Harmer

Siobhan is a passionate writer sharing about motivation and happiness tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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