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Why You Should Take The Risk To Live Your Life

Why You Should Take The Risk To Live Your Life

As a coach, I’m constantly working on building my network while adding and exchanging value with other business professionals. On a recent week-long business trip to Chicago I was scheduled to meet Justin downtown at 4 PM Friday night but thought I would leave Chicago a day early, so at 6 PM on Thursday, I asked if we could meet that night instead. Although hesitant because he had to rearrange his schedule at the last minute, he agreed. Since we had never had a conversation before, I picked him up at his home in the suburbs at 9 PM and we headed to a bar to take the time to get to know one another professionally. Before leaving for Chicago I made a FB post that said “Hey I am traveling to Chi would love to meet up”, and proceeded to tag Justin along with dozens of other individuals I was connected with through social media.  It was during this conversation that I learned 4 things I wanted to share with you today.

The most important decisions in our lives are made in a split second regardless of the risk.

Each moment we have the ability to transform our personal, professional and financial lives as we bring up and work through the pain of the past.  As I’m sitting conversing with him over a taco salad and water, Justin is relentlessly nailing my pain points over, and over, and over. As he’s doing this I can feel my stomach turn and I start thinking about all kinds of things. While my physiology is changing, my body language also changes as I’m a very animated person and it’s so dramatic he actually notices. As an extremely confident person being put in a vulnerable position where questions need to be answered, decisions need to be made, and deeper relationships are formed, it can become incredibly uncomfortable.  And honestly this was one of the most uncomfortable/comfortable moments of my life.  While I was comfortable knowing a decision had to be made.  I was uncomfortable being confronted in a way that demanded clarity.  If I wanted the reward I had to be honest about what I wanted, be able to communicate that clearly and simultaneously make a decision that very moment. Personally I don’t think there’s anything more difficult, because as Tony Robbins says “It is in these moments of decision that our destiny is shaped.”

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Being brutally honest is essential to your growth.

While I didn’t anticipate the conversation getting extremely personal, it did and I had no option but to A) stay engaged and build a deeper relationship or B) walk away knowing that if it didn’t progress it was my fault because I refused to answer the difficult questions that Justin wanted/ was demanding answers to. Being two incredibly strong-willed and opinionated individuals and playing in the big business arena on a daily basis refusing to answer the questions wasn’t an option, although don’t get me wrong it was a struggle.  The old saying goes “You can’t make it to second base if you refuse to remove your feet from first.”

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Short-term pain means long-term pleasure. 

The headache you get from starting a new diet, the pain from just starting a new workout regimen, the anxiety from having to do something outside of your comfort zone, the fear of commitment, these short term bursts of negative emotions drive you to make the changes needed to create the results you desire. If you don’t have these moments of short term pain you will never really accomplish anything you ever want in life. In fact, you will never get what you desire out of life.

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Taking a risk with the potential of reaping the reward makes the risk worth taking.

Somehow in between not knowing anything about one another and taco salad we were able to form a great connection and break down the barriers that existed which led to a much more personal connection than I had previously had all week. The risk of not knowing if it’s going to work, when it’s going to work, and how it’s going to work is the risk all successful people make, all happily married people make, all incredibly fulfilled people make.  It isn’t a matter of wanting to or not wanting to but stepping up to the plate when the opportunity presents itself especially when you least expect it.

What I anticipated being a 2-hour exchange became a 5-hour conversation, and an incredible bond that words cannot describe was formed. My challenge to you is to go out of your comfort zone, meet people you’ve never met, have conversations you’ve never had, create experiences you’ve never experienced, and go do what you want to do to accomplish the things that you want to accomplish. Life is short, make it count!

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

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When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

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3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

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5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

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7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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