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Why You Are Your Own Best Competition

Why You Are Your Own Best Competition

If you find yourself comparing yourself with your friend, co-worker, neighbor, or partner, you need to stop this minute. Comparing yourself with others is the easiest way to lose focus and distract yourself from your goals. As a human being, the best favor you can do yourself and the world at large is to be laser-focused on your personal goals and on your definition of what success with those goals means to you. What do I mean by this?

Focus on your art

Seth Godin often talks about how we should focus on figuring out what our art is and on sharing this art with the world. By its very nature, everyone’s art is distinct and unique. We can only develop our best art by looking deep into ourselves and sharing what makes us special with the world. To him, art is anything that is creative, passionate, and personal, and great art resonates with the viewer, not only with the creator.

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It only makes sense that competing with others distracts from the distinctiveness that makes our art special. By comparing ourselves with others, we lose the magic that developing our core art affords the world. Competition with others in a sense makes us ordinary. It encourages imitation and, if we are not careful, makes us lose our essence. How boring.

Perhaps the best illustration of the magic that competing with oneself can bring to our art is Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs’ maniacal obsession with his art was apparent to all in the careful attention to detail observed in most Apple products. This was clearly born out of his internal vision, which would not have seen the light of day if he did not stay committed to tapping into his inner creativity. We owe it to the world to bring our originality and insights to the work that we do.

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What is your art? Are you currently focused on making it the best possible version of your art that the world has ever seen? What are you doing to improve it and to make it delight and connect with your audience?

Here are three ways I keep myself focused whenever I find myself trying to compete with others:

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1. Write down your goals
Writing down your goals is one of the easiest ways to keep in touch with your inner purpose and see where you’d like to be in a given time frame. Research has shown time and time again that writing down your goals dramatically increases your chances of achieving them. When writing your goals, it is important to write down the steps you have taken or plan to take to accomplish them. Also, make sure your goals are Specific, Measurable, Active, Realistic, and Timed (S.M.A.R.T) to increase your chances of success.

2. Track your progress
Next, track your progress. This would give you a sense about how far along you are in your journey towards improving your art. Getting a good sense of your progress, helps you determine areas in which you need to improve or work harder. It also reassures you that you are on track if you are meeting all your set targets for yourself.

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3.  Devise a plan for improvement
Now that you have reviewed your goals, devise a plan for improvement that can help you perfect your art. Since you have the best understanding of what the best expression of your art should look like, come up with action steps that can help you improve to the best of your ability and that can help you reach your definition of success.

These three steps have never failed me because they keep me focused on my inner compass and help me continually review and evaluate myself for improvement.

Have you tried any of these out? How have they helped you compete effectively with yourself?

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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