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Why Being Single Is Better Than Being With the Wrong Person

Why Being Single Is Better Than Being With the Wrong Person

A relationship is like a tree, it needs to planted and cultivated. It takes time, energy, resources and attention. It also takes the commitment of the two individuals involved to make it grow. It hurts when a relationship is not going in the right direction and that is why being single and loving yourself sometimes makes you happy. Because at the end of the day we really want to be understood and appreciated. This is why it is important to be in a relationship only for the right reasons.

1. You don’t wallow in regrets

Being with the wrong person means you are trying to please and give to someone who doesn’t understand the depth of your emotions. You have to offer your emotions to the right one. At the end of the day you feel contented that you have fulfilled nature’s cause. Living with the regrets of “what ifs,” “how come,” “what went wrong,” only builds into disappointment, anger and revenge.

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2. You deserve to be happy

Being happy is a right we should all have as a given. So why spoil it by showering the wrong person with affection? When you’re single you are able to identify your priorities and pursue those things that really make you happy. You will be able to spend time with people who understand and care about you. Focus on discovering where to invest your energy.

3. Your life is too short

If only we had all the time in the world, we could explore a singular option for so many years! But we do not have the splendor of enough time. It is important to explore and reach out to people and things that would give our life a meaning. The wrong person won’t, so why waste your time and theirs?

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4. You are not awkward at showing your love

Even when showing or displaying your affection results in you coming off stupidly, you should have someone who loves you in return and appreciates such a stupid gesture. You don’t deserve to be disrespected or ill-treated for your remarkable feeling. Nothing should ever be awkward about loving someone.

5. You don’t deserve to be broken

We know how that feeling is like, shutting ourselves indoors and lamenting over our loss. Perhaps we believed he or she would have been the perfect match and it just didn’t happen? When you are single you have control over your emotions, you can manage your situations alone and somehow you are detached and unbroken. Because of this stability you become a pillar of support not only to yourself but also to others.

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6. You have your self-esteem

Hurt disappointment and anger doesn’t build confidence or self-esteem. Your self-esteem is built upon being in perfect relationships. Why compromise your self-worth or self-esteem for someone who is not deserving of it? Perhaps looking inwards at those relationships that count should be a priority rather than offering it all to someone who doesn’t desire it. You should keep only a relationship that credits you rather than discredit you.

7. You experience freedom

Freedom is a rare commodity and an asset – not everyone has it. Negative circumstances like being in a wrong relationship stifle and deter you from being at your best. You should eat when you want, you should be able to create your own schedule and hang out when you feel like it. Your happiness should be controlled and determined by you and not someone else.

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Being alone and loving yourself is one of the most remarkable relationships there can be. You value, discover and learn to adore yourself. These elements are significant to your growth as an individual. Maybe you have to be selfish to attain this growth, but along the way you will find out that it is necessary to validate your relationship status… And that should ONLY be with the right person.

Featured photo credit: http://www.unsplash.com via download.unsplash.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

How to Train Your Brain to Be Optimistic

How to Train Your Brain to Be Optimistic

Let’s be honest. When you’re going through a difficult time in life, doesn’t it drive you crazy when someone says, “just be optimistic”?

Everyone has that one overly-optimistic “Positive Pam” friend who sees the good in everything. Trying to find anything to be happy about when you’re struggling feels unrealistic.

The question remains: “Why is it difficult to pull upon happy thoughts when everything in life feels like it’s falling apart?”

Well, the root of the problem lies in the brain. Your brain isn’t designed for happiness because its focus has always been on promoting survival, it saves the happy chemicals (dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin) for opportunities to meet a survival need.[1]

While all of this is true, it is still possible to train your brain to be optimistic so that you can find the silver lining amidst life’s greatest adversities.

You Can’t Be Positive All the Time

Before I talk about how you can do this, you must realize that you aren’t expected to be positive 100% of the time. You’re human and life happens.

Have you ever had a solid plan in place, and then life comes along and says, “Let’s explore rock bottom for a while instead?!” You’re allowed to feel sad, angry, or negative sometimes.

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However, the trick is making sure that you don’t live in this place for too long. Disempowering emotions serve their purpose in the short-term but can become destructive to your overall quality of life in the long-term.

When it comes to thinking positively, I think a lot of people have a skewed understanding of what positivity should look like. You don’t have to sing in the rain or smile 24/7 to be deemed a positive person.

Appreciating the smallest of things can work wonders for your mindset, such that, over time, you start wiring your brain to seek out and expect more positives. This speaks to the power of having an attitude of gratitude.

Research has shown that gratitude can improve general well-being, increase resilience, strengthen social relationships, and reduce stress and depression.[2]

The more grateful you are, the happier you are.

So, what does all of this mean? Well, happiness won’t always be your automatic response. Rather, it’s a choice that you have to make every single day.

3 Ways You Can Train Your Brain to Be Positive

Similar to any habit, your brain conditions itself to think and behave in certain ways through repetition. Thus, if you engage in daily rituals that enhance your positive thinking, over time you will rewire and train your brain to become more positive.

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Let’s talk about 3 ways that you can train your brain to be positive:

1. Challenge Negative Thoughts

Your mind is a powerful tool – you can either fill it with positive thoughts or negative ones. The average person has thousands of thoughts per day, 80% of which are negative, and 95% of which are exactly the same thoughts as the day before.[3]

If you’re like most people, you probably spend a lot of time in your head. This is where your inner critic loves to hang out and try to convince you of all the reasons why you’re not good enough or why things won’t work out.

Not surprisingly, if you play this disempowering record over and over again in your head, eventually you will start believing it.

People get into trouble when they define who they are based on how they think. You are not your thoughts, so don’t believe everything that you think. This is why it’s so important to practice challenging your negative thoughts.

The next time that you have a thought that doesn’t serve you, stop and reflect upon whether or not that thought is accurate. Once you determine where the fallacy is in your thinking lies, step back and ask yourself, “Is this thought building me up or tearing me down?” If it’s the latter, reframe the negative thought to a more empowering one.

The fastest way to change your life is to change your narrative. Small shifts in your mindset can trigger a massive shift in how you perceive yourself, others, and the world.

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2. Surround Yourself With Positive People

Your success in life is determined, in large part, by your environment. If you want to be an optimistic person, you have to surround yourself with optimistic people. End of story.

As Jim Rohn once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

Take a moment and think about your close circle of friends. Are they inspiring and driven people who uplift and empower you? Or are they lazy, negative, and toxic?

If it’s the latter, I hate to break it to you, but it’s time to find new friends.

When you surround yourself with positive people, you’re more likely to adopt empowering beliefs and see life as happening for you instead of to you.[4]

Decide who you want to be and find people who embody those traits. When you raise your standards, your circle will change and so, too, will your life.

3. Make Your Mental Health and Well-Being a Priority

The COVID-19 pandemic has given rise to a drastic increase in mental health issues. The isolation, fear, uncertainty, and economic turmoil that people are facing around the world is a breeding ground for psychological distress.[5]

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Given the current state of our world, there has never been a more important time for us to make our mental health and well-being a priority.

The question remains, “How do you stay positive when everything sucks?”

It’s all a matter of perspective.

We know that the mind and body are connected. If you ignore one, the other one suffers equally as much. Research has found that taking care of ourselves physically and mentally can influence our happiness and train our brains over time to be more positive.[6]

Looking after your mind and body means creating a daily self-care ritual, consisting of eating healthy foods, exercising, meditating, doing yoga, staying connected with friends, journaling, reading, and practicing affirmations, to name a few.

Anything that helps you manage your stress and connect with the present moment is key. Even in the most challenging of times, it is always possible to find something to be grateful for. By choosing to focus on what is good in your life and what makes you happy, you will grow stronger in the face of adversity.

Now Is the Time to Train Your Brain to Be Optimistic

Your mindset is everything. Thinking positively is as important as your skills or talents. We cannot always control our outer world, which is why it’s imperative to cultivate a strong inner world.

How you respond to adversity will determine your success in life. Have faith, trust in yourself, and believe in what is possible. When you think positively, positive things will happen.

More Tips on How to Be Optimistic

Featured photo credit: Dayne Topkin via unsplash.com

Reference

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