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When You Start Doing These 15 Things, Your Quality Of Life Will Improve

When You Start Doing These 15 Things, Your Quality Of Life Will Improve

Though we all give our best to make the most out of our limited time on this planet, there is always something missing. To improve your life doesn’t have to be an uphill battle. Sometimes a few tips are all that you need to start living better.

1. Realize that only you can make your dreams come true

Take little steps every day to move closer to your dreams and ambitions. Speak to the people you need to speak to, learn the skills you need to have, and gain all the knowledge you need to know.

Simply, do all of the things you need to do to reach a better quality of life; no-one else can do it for you.

2. Cut out fake people

Most people have a friend or two who isn’t worth their time. It can be hard to cut people out of your life, but surrounding yourself with loving and supportive people can make a huge difference to your well-being.

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Try to describe how you feel when you are around your friends in five words. Are any of those words negative? If so, it might be time that you two move in separate directions.

3. Cut out being fake

It can be hard to admit, but no one is perfect. Often people end up in difficult situations, leading to little lies which can snowball quickly. Lying and keeping up false pretenses can be stressful and exhausting, as well as lowering the quality of life you have. Try being honest every day, to everyone you meet; you may be surprised to see how well it works.

4. Understand that failure is important

This may seem cliched, but it is unarguably true. There are often hugely beneficial lessons to learn whenever you make a mistake. Failure isn’t a choice, but learning is. Make sure you get the best out of the worst whenever you can.

5. Spend some time alone

With work, hobbies, socializing and sleeping, it can be hard to actually find time to spend by yourself. However hanging out by yourself can be great for your general well being. Catch a movie, cook a meal you love – do anything that makes you happy. Learn to love yourself, and you may notice a lot of unrest in your life leaving.

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6. Live life by your own expectations

Often people live life according to what other people think is best for them; their friends, their family, the media, or the society we live in. However, pleasing other people and living up to their expectations can leave you feeling like a failure, or at best stressed out.

Don’t try to keep up with everyone else’s expectations, set your own and achieve them. You only get one life – personalize it, and live it.

 7. Be good to your body

While joining an extreme ocean diving club could actually add more stress to your life, exercise and good food have been proven to improve your well being. If you hate running, try walking or yoga. Drink more water and buy more greens. You don’t have to become a fitness freak, but love your body as much as you can.

8. Keep exercising your mind

Not many people want to do Math once they’ve left school, but exercising your mind can help sharpen your intelligence and your mind at any age. If you hate Math, find something else that challenges you, from knitting to crosswords to learning new recipes. Keep your mind fresh and keep learning, and you may notice some restlessness leaving from your life.

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9. Put aside your fears

While confronting your fear of spiders could be useful, it could admittedly also be terrifying. Specific fears like this tend to stuck, but we have already made a huge step in the right direction, if we manage to get rid of general fears like the fear of failure, or step backs, or your job. Develop a deep trust within yourself, and watch your quality of life improve.

10. Don’t hold on to negative feelings

Everyone has felt betrayal, pain, anger and resentment. How you act on these feelings determines how much they will upset you. You cannot avoid being hurt by other people, but only you can choose how you deal with pain. Let your anger over past hardships go. It is extremely likely the anger is affecting you more than anyone else.

11. Live in the present moment

Be happy and grateful for all that you have now. One day you may have more, and once you may have had less. You are travelling towards a goal, but often people find the happiest times in their lives are during the challenge, not the success.

12. Unplug from technology

Whether it is once a day or once a month, spend some time without any technology around you. In this society social media plays a huge role in most people’s free time, and often it can cause you stress, lowering your quality of life. Make the effort to enjoy some time alone without checking up on everyone else around you. Read a book, do anything you want – just log off and spend some time with yourself.

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13. Actively be kind to others

Most people would class themselves as kind to others, but thinking you are doing something and actually doing it are different things. Ask yourself when you last helped someone and got nothing back in return. Was it recently? Do you feel good about it?

Helping others makes most people feel great, and it adds purpose to your day. From volunteering to donating to charities, there are hundreds of ways you could raise your quality of life while helping others.

14. Don’t be a pushover

While being rude or stubborn won’t help improve your life, stick up for yourself whenever you have to; at work, at home, with family. Stand up for yourself if you believe you are being taken advantage of or wronged, because feeling this way can be stressful and upsetting – and it will only encourage others to keep taking advantage of you.

15. Make a commitment to yourself

Make a commitment to stick to all of the changes you wish to make. Promise yourself you will, and then create a plan you can stick to on a daily basis. Little changes can become big changes, and promising yourself this is the beginning of something new which means you’re much more likely to stick to it. Good luck!

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on August 19, 2019

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

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2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

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