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What Life Is Actually About: A Refreshingly New Perspective

What Life Is Actually About: A Refreshingly New Perspective

Painful memories can make us strong, teach patience, and cause us to appreciate more enjoyable, easier moments. Sure, our complete memories make us who we are but that does not mean we can’t choose an increased well being.

Various Perspectives

Traveling around the world, you uncover many ways different cultures and individuals justify the meaning of life, their individual experiences, and their personal lifestyles. Sure we’re all familiar with the notion of karma or reincarnation, but what about more obscure beliefs? For example, Pharrell William’s of N.E.R.D. fame supports his and fellow band mate’s beliefs on life by equating Eintstein’s theory that “energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another” to the band’s eponymous acronym: “No One Ever Really Dies.”

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A New Take

Another particular lifestyle that is so organic and is the practical notion to live by is the idea of life being about collecting memories. Particularly within this lifetime, these memories are to be gathered and recalled at any time. For feelings of contentedness, the aim is to collect as many good memories as possible.

The Aim

Various emotions are often tied to our different memories and recalling happier times often leads to a better well being. Reminiscent of the premise of many video games, imagine life as an aim to collect more positive experiences to recall, which can result in more life satisfaction. Learn to duck when needed and always look for bonus points.

What about Negative Memories?

Many of us have had sleepless nights regularly recalling feelings of hopelessness, shame, anger, fear and many other worrying emotions. Theories suggest that these type of feelings are better preserved than happier or neutral memories – possibly as a way to remind ourselves not to relive such a situation, similar to how we learned that fire was hot when we were young. It is important to note that we also have a higher risk for not properly recalling an incident.

In addition, scientists have discovered that anger, anxiety, and depression affect the functioning of the heart as well as increase the risk for heart disease. Atherosclerosis is a process where blood vessels supply the heart and brain, and strokes and heart attacks are caused by progressive damage to these vessels. Atherosclerosis increases when there are high levels pro-inflammatory cytokines or chemicals in the body.

A new way to deal with negative memories has been suggested by researchers at the Beckman Institute at the University of Illinois, led by psychology professor Florin Dolcos of the Cognitive Neuroscience Group. Their studies claim that once a negative memory enters your mind, we should recall the event holistically, which allows us to remember not only the bad, but the positives that occurred, too.

Recalling some positives surrounding our bad memories allows us to gain a more well rounded perspective on the matter. Negative memories can continue to serve as reminders as to how better to collect good memories.

Collect Good Memories

While memories that we often try to avoid can teach lessons about future choices and make good memories much better by comparison, learning to focus on our positive memories can lead to increased self confidence and self-fulfilment. If you find yourself focusing on the negatives, studies recently found that recalling something more holistically can help gain a better, general perspective on our lives. Try to aim to collect one good experience, conversation, or accomplishment per day. This might include reading something you would not normally read, extending yourself at work, school or for volunteer work, or savoring something including a tasty treat or fun event. Aim to learn and to connect good experiences with certain places. Surround yourself only with people you admire for one reason or another. As for the inevitable negative people, use those memories to learn from. Like Gaven deBecker states in his book, “the Gift of Fear, know yourself well enough to trust your instincts.

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Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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