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What My Introverted Best Friend Taught Me

What My Introverted Best Friend Taught Me

To be an introvert is a strength. Introverts have a capacity to be contented and a personality to be admired. The introvert in my life, my best friend, is an anchor like no other. Strong, ambitious and opinionated, she is a laughter riot whose happiness is contagious. Her smiles are plentiful and so is her advice. Being an introvert is her biggest asset, and this is what my introverted best friend taught me:

1. To Listen

Be it a voice of reason, a tone of caution or an ego being loud, she always listens. She listens, she agrees or disagrees, but regardless, she always listens. In this fast-paced life, this ever evolving cacophony of disturbance, she taught me to listen. Not to hear — we all do that — but to listen. Truly, carefully, mindfully. To listen to the voice inside my head, to listen to the voices guiding me, to listen to the voices of change around me, to listen to the whispers of the trees, to listen, mostly, to myself. She taught me by listening to me.

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2. To Show

The post of glorious achievements when I’m blue, the green tea when I’m upset, the hot cocoa when I’m missing home. She barely, if ever, tells me she cares but every day, ever so often, she’ll show me she cares. From her I learned to show, to convey not just by words but by actions, and to love so deeply and show it with a simple touch.

3. To Find Happiness Within

She’ll often sit huddled up in her blanket with a rather questionable choice of book and be perfectly content. She’d often rather take a ‘different’ path to class and find happiness in that. She’ll have a food that she may have eaten often before and yet, today, she’ll find time to praise it. Be it night or day, sunny or gloomy, she’d always find something to be content about. She taught me to be happy inside, to be alone and yet not lonely. She taught me to find happiness in the little things in life.

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4. To Trust

Whether she was thousands of miles away or merely on the next bed in a dorm, she taught me how to trust. For every broken heart, mean word, or bad grade, she stood by me, holding my hand and letting me trust her. Every word and insecurity was one that she simply patted away as she patted my hand when I was near tears. She taught me to trust from my heart not my eyes or ears. So even though we’re miles away, my heart still trusts: my secrets, hopes, dreams and aspirations all tucked within me and her. And with every passing day she encourages me to trust her more without ever saying a word but by always respecting mine.

5. To Be Goofy

A simple text, a movie night, a horrible dance party: she will live it up. She’ll enjoy life every second and do so without a sound (sometimes). She carries her heart on her sleeve and every day she’ll spend a little time just being happy and goofy. She taught me to loosen up. She taught me that the child inside isn’t always loud and that being goofy can come in silent dark nights or blazing summer mornings. She taught me to find my inner child in the absence of sound.

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6. To Be Honest not Brutal

In no argument is her voice ever the loudest. It is there, it is vibrant, but is also the kindest. She isn’t a woman of few words, she isn’t weak and she definitely isn’t naïve. Her mind is strong and her direction firm. Her ideas are flexible but most of all, her words are calm. Things have been said, mistakes were made, yet every time her words were gentle. They were strong but gentle. They never hurt, they made a point. She taught me to be honest without being hurtful, and to convey without disrespect. She taught me to be kinder and use my words better.

Featured photo credit: Becca Peterson via flickr.com

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Sanah Rizvi

Sanah is an influential public speaker and a devoted advocator of female rights.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

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Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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