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What Friendship Should Look Like in Your Thirties

What Friendship Should Look Like in Your Thirties

When you get to your thirties, your priorities change. Things that may have seemed important before will look silly now. When I celebrated my 30th birthday, it felt like a light bulb was suddenly switched on over my head and I realized that my life was about to change. I used to have tons of friends but I couldn’t say every single one of them was a “quality” friend. During my twenties, I didn’t think about the type of people I spent time with. But now that I’m in my mid-thirties, I’m very selective about the kind of people I want to call my friends. Now, I have fewer friends but they are the best I can ever pray for. I am very picky when it comes to new friends because at 34, I want to be committed to these friendships. Like any other type of relationship, I like to make sure my friendships will last. So what traits should you look for in a friend now that you are in your thirties, a point in your life when time is a luxury?

1. You’re alike

There has to be some similarities whether it be love of coffee, politics, literature, movies, or even people watching. There just has to be a common ground. I have a specific friend whose personality is so different from mine that other people wonder why we are friends. However, what they don’t know is that we share a mutual likeness for watching Korean dramas and gory films and then talking about it later over coffee.

likeness
    We are so alike in so many ways!

    2. You show each other mutual respect

    Every smart person knows that respect is earned and real friends respect each other. They know when they need to be quiet and give you privacy and space or when they should shake you back to your senses. My friends give me advice whether solicited or not but they respect my decision even if they don’t agree with it.

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    alone

      3. You have fun together

      True friends have fun with each other even when they are doing the stupidest or craziest things.

      fun
        Yep, we’re cool like this!

        4. You can depend on each other

        I am the type of friend who doesn’t mind getting woken up in the middle of the night when a friend is in trouble. Because I believe that true friends can depend on each other—for their time, for honest advice, for a listening ear, even for money. (But of course, you want friends you can depend on to pay you back too, right?)

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        lesbian
          She’s my part-time lesbo lover!

          5. They’re like family to you

          There is a saying that you can’t choose your family but friends are family that you choose for yourself. My true friends are like my family. I love and treat them like I would treat family members because I believe in that saying. And friends are the people I choose to be part of my family. You and your friends look out for another. So even when it is hard, you should be able to tell her that twerking doesn’t suit her!

          twerking
            No, you ain’t Miley!

            6. They accept you

            This is one of the most important quality of real friends—they accept each other for what they are or are not. They don’t judge each other for the mistakes their friends make, or their past.

            satc
              It’s ok. We already know that!

              7. They’re generous with you

              True friends share and are not afraid to do so, whether it’s with material things, knowledge, opinions, or anything. And friends bring out the generous person in you as well.

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              generosity

                8. They’re thoughtful with you

                True friends think about you, worry about you, and tell you when they’re worried.

                coffee
                  I knew coffee would make you feel better…

                  9. They share your humor (or sarcasm)

                  My real friends laugh at the same things I find funny, even if those things are mundane. I share the same type of humor and sarcasm with them. And most of the time, one look at each other makes us burst out laughing.

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                  humor
                    Or if we are in the Hunger Games!

                    10. They inspire you

                    Real friends inspire you. You see the goodness in them and it makes you want to be good too. They make you want to better yourself, your craft, your life.

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                      Featured photo credit: Bless Castorillo via facebook.com

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                      Last Updated on December 2, 2018

                      7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

                      7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

                      When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

                      You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

                      1. Connecting them with each other

                      Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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                      It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

                      2. Connect with their emotions

                      Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

                      For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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                      3. Keep going back to the beginning

                      Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

                      On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

                      4. Link to your audience’s motivation

                      After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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                      Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

                      5. Entertain them

                      While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

                      Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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                      6. Appeal to loyalty

                      Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

                      In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

                      7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

                      Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

                      Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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