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What Friendship Should Look Like in Your Thirties

What Friendship Should Look Like in Your Thirties

When you get to your thirties, your priorities change. Things that may have seemed important before will look silly now. When I celebrated my 30th birthday, it felt like a light bulb was suddenly switched on over my head and I realized that my life was about to change. I used to have tons of friends but I couldn’t say every single one of them was a “quality” friend. During my twenties, I didn’t think about the type of people I spent time with. But now that I’m in my mid-thirties, I’m very selective about the kind of people I want to call my friends. Now, I have fewer friends but they are the best I can ever pray for. I am very picky when it comes to new friends because at 34, I want to be committed to these friendships. Like any other type of relationship, I like to make sure my friendships will last. So what traits should you look for in a friend now that you are in your thirties, a point in your life when time is a luxury?

1. You’re alike

There has to be some similarities whether it be love of coffee, politics, literature, movies, or even people watching. There just has to be a common ground. I have a specific friend whose personality is so different from mine that other people wonder why we are friends. However, what they don’t know is that we share a mutual likeness for watching Korean dramas and gory films and then talking about it later over coffee.

likeness
    We are so alike in so many ways!

    2. You show each other mutual respect

    Every smart person knows that respect is earned and real friends respect each other. They know when they need to be quiet and give you privacy and space or when they should shake you back to your senses. My friends give me advice whether solicited or not but they respect my decision even if they don’t agree with it.

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    alone

      3. You have fun together

      True friends have fun with each other even when they are doing the stupidest or craziest things.

      fun
        Yep, we’re cool like this!

        4. You can depend on each other

        I am the type of friend who doesn’t mind getting woken up in the middle of the night when a friend is in trouble. Because I believe that true friends can depend on each other—for their time, for honest advice, for a listening ear, even for money. (But of course, you want friends you can depend on to pay you back too, right?)

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        lesbian
          She’s my part-time lesbo lover!

          5. They’re like family to you

          There is a saying that you can’t choose your family but friends are family that you choose for yourself. My true friends are like my family. I love and treat them like I would treat family members because I believe in that saying. And friends are the people I choose to be part of my family. You and your friends look out for another. So even when it is hard, you should be able to tell her that twerking doesn’t suit her!

          twerking
            No, you ain’t Miley!

            6. They accept you

            This is one of the most important quality of real friends—they accept each other for what they are or are not. They don’t judge each other for the mistakes their friends make, or their past.

            satc
              It’s ok. We already know that!

              7. They’re generous with you

              True friends share and are not afraid to do so, whether it’s with material things, knowledge, opinions, or anything. And friends bring out the generous person in you as well.

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              generosity

                8. They’re thoughtful with you

                True friends think about you, worry about you, and tell you when they’re worried.

                coffee
                  I knew coffee would make you feel better…

                  9. They share your humor (or sarcasm)

                  My real friends laugh at the same things I find funny, even if those things are mundane. I share the same type of humor and sarcasm with them. And most of the time, one look at each other makes us burst out laughing.

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                  humor
                    Or if we are in the Hunger Games!

                    10. They inspire you

                    Real friends inspire you. You see the goodness in them and it makes you want to be good too. They make you want to better yourself, your craft, your life.

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                      Featured photo credit: Bless Castorillo via facebook.com

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                      Last Updated on August 20, 2018

                      Quit Your Job If You Don’t Like It, No Matter What

                      Quit Your Job If You Don’t Like It, No Matter What

                      Do you know that feeling? The one where you have to wake up to go to your boring 9-5 job to work with the same boring colleagues who don’t appreciate what you do.

                      I do, and that’s why I’ve decided to quit my job and follow my passion. This, however, requires a solid plan and some guts.

                      The one who perseveres doesn’t always win. Sometimes life has more to offer when you quit your current job. Yes, I know. It’s overwhelming and scary.

                      People who quit are often seen as ‘losers’. They say: “You should finish what you’ve started”.

                      I know like no other that quitting your job can be very stressful. A dozen questions come up when you’re thinking about quitting your job, most starting with: What if?

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                      “What if I don’t find a job I love and regret quitting my current job?”
                      “What if I can’t find another job and I get in debt because I can’t pay my bills?”
                      “What if my family and friends judge me and disapprove of the decisions I make?”
                      “What if I quit my job to pursue my dream, but I fail?

                      After all, if you admit to the truth of your surroundings, you’re forced to acknowledge that you’ve made a wrong decision by choosing your current job. But don’t forget that quitting certain things in life can be the path to your success!

                      One of my favorite quotes by Henry Ford:

                      If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.

                      Everything takes energy

                      Everything you do in life takes energy. It takes energy to participate in your weekly activities. It takes energy to commute to work every day. It takes energy to organize your sister’s big wedding.

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                      Each of the responsibilities we have take a little bit of our energy. We only have a certain amount of energy a day, so we have to spend it wisely.  Same goes for our time. The only things we can’t buy in this world are time and energy. Yes, you could buy an energy drink, but will it feel the same as eight hours of sleep? Will it be as healthy?

                      The more stress there is in your life, the less focus you have. This will weaken your results.

                      Find something that is worth doing

                      Do you have to quit every time the going gets touch? Absolutely not! You should quit when you’ve put everything you’ve got into something, but don’t see a bright future in it.

                      When you do something you love and that has purpose in your life, you should push through and give everything you have.

                      I find star athletes very inspiring. They don’t quit till they step on that stage to receive their hard earned gold medal. From the start, they know how much work its going to take and what they have to sacrifice.

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                      When you do something you’re really passionate about, you’re not in a downward spiral. Before you even start you can already see the finish line. The more focus you have for something, the faster you’ll reach the finish.

                      It is definitely possible to spend your valuable time on something you love and earn money doing it. You just have to find out how — by doing enough research.

                      Other excuses I often hear are:

                      “But I have my wife and kids, who is going to pay the bills?”
                      “I don’t have time for that, I’m too busy with… stuff” (Like watching TV for 2 hours every day.)
                      “At least I get the same paycheck every month if I work for a boss.”
                      “Quitting my job is too much risk with this crisis.”

                      I understand those points. But if you’ve never tried it, you’ll never know how it could be. The fear of failure keeps people from stepping out of their comfort zone.

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                      I’ve heard many people say, “I work to let my children make their dream come true”. I think they should rephrase that sentence to: “I pursue my dreams — to inspire and show my children anything is possible.” 

                      Conclusion

                      Think carefully about what you spend your time on. Don’t waste it on things that don’t brighten your future. Instead, search for opportunities. And come up with a solid plan before you take any impulsive actions.

                      Only good things happen outside of your comfort zone.

                      Do you dare to quit your job for more success in life?

                      Featured photo credit: Jadon Barnes via images.unsplash.com

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