When you get to your thirties, your priorities change. Things that may have seemed important before will look silly now. When I celebrated my 30th birthday, it felt like a light bulb was suddenly switched on over my head and I realized that my life was about to change. I used to have tons of friends but I couldn’t say every single one of them was a “quality” friend. During my twenties, I didn’t think about the type of people I spent time with. But now that I’m in my mid-thirties, I’m very selective about the kind of people I want to call my friends. Now, I have fewer friends but they are the best I can ever pray for. I am very picky when it comes to new friends because at 34, I want to be committed to these friendships. Like any other type of relationship, I like to make sure my friendships will last. So what traits should you look for in a friend now that you are in your thirties, a point in your life when time is a luxury?
1. You’re alike
There has to be some similarities whether it be love of coffee, politics, literature, movies, or even people watching. There just has to be a common ground. I have a specific friend whose personality is so different from mine that other people wonder why we are friends. However, what they don’t know is that we share a mutual likeness for watching Korean dramas and gory films and then talking about it later over coffee.
2. You show each other mutual respect
Every smart person knows that respect is earned and real friends respect each other. They know when they need to be quiet and give you privacy and space or when they should shake you back to your senses. My friends give me advice whether solicited or not but they respect my decision even if they don’t agree with it.
3. You have fun together
True friends have fun with each other even when they are doing the stupidest or craziest things.
4. You can depend on each other
I am the type of friend who doesn’t mind getting woken up in the middle of the night when a friend is in trouble. Because I believe that true friends can depend on each other—for their time, for honest advice, for a listening ear, even for money. (But of course, you want friends you can depend on to pay you back too, right?)
5. They’re like family to you
There is a saying that you can’t choose your family but friends are family that you choose for yourself. My true friends are like my family. I love and treat them like I would treat family members because I believe in that saying. And friends are the people I choose to be part of my family. You and your friends look out for another. So even when it is hard, you should be able to tell her that twerking doesn’t suit her!
6. They accept you
This is one of the most important quality of real friends—they accept each other for what they are or are not. They don’t judge each other for the mistakes their friends make, or their past.
7. They’re generous with you
True friends share and are not afraid to do so, whether it’s with material things, knowledge, opinions, or anything. And friends bring out the generous person in you as well.
8. They’re thoughtful with you
True friends think about you, worry about you, and tell you when they’re worried.
9. They share your humor (or sarcasm)
My real friends laugh at the same things I find funny, even if those things are mundane. I share the same type of humor and sarcasm with them. And most of the time, one look at each other makes us burst out laughing.
10. They inspire you
Real friends inspire you. You see the goodness in them and it makes you want to be good too. They make you want to better yourself, your craft, your life.
Featured photo credit: Bless Castorillo via facebook.com