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This Is How You Can Get People To Take You Seriously

This Is How You Can Get People To Take You Seriously

Have you ever been in a situation where you knew you needed to make a great first impression?

How about feeling like you wanted to be taken more seriously at work or within your personal relationships?

Maybe in the past you weren’t ready to be the ‘go-to’ guy or girl – someone who could be relied upon and basically had their stuff together – but now you want to be.

You’re in luck. I want to share with you some of the techniques I used to overcome my shyness, grow out of my laid-back phase, and improve my standing with others so that they knew I was now a force to be reckoned with! (You heard!) Here are six things you need to do to get other people to take you seriously:

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1. Dress for the part.

Think of your attire as your uniform for battle. Generals have stars and stripes to show they’re the boss, so you must show your ‘stripes’ as well.

Do you want to be taken seriously at work? Then dress better than your current job requires. How about on a date? Then dress like a man or woman who commands respect and adoration for their class and grace.

Do you want to be seen as the right person for the job during an interview? Frank Bernieri, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at Oregon State University, says dressing conservative is best. He extols that dressing traditionally conveys that you care, made an effort to not offend, and that you are respectful.

As for your first impression, he says that within the first 10 seconds of meeting your interviewer he or she has already decided if you will be getting the job or not.

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2. When you are in the company of others, do more listening than talking.

With this tactic you will learn about the other person, be perceived as a good listener, and you will be primed to contribute wisely when you do speak.

3. When you speak, talk about things you know really well.

Disperse intelligent ideas and informed opinions about subject matter that you are fully versed on so that people will view you as an authority.

Be knowledgeable about what you do for a living, your passions, and hobbies. You don’t need to be informed on everything – just stick with the stuff that is important to you and that will be enough. People admire people who have genuine interests.

4. Mind your body language whether you’re in an interview or speaking to a group of people.

If you want to be seen as an effective, commanding, and likable person, pay attention to the signals you are sending with your body movements.

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Body language is the gestures, movements, and mannerisms by which a person communicates to others. Good body language can convey authority, confidence, and create rapport.

For example, when speaking, turn and face the person you are speaking with. This suggests engagement, interest, and that you have nothing to hide. Use your hands to emphasize your dialogue, but don’t lift them above your shoulders as this will appear strange. Also, maintain eye contact as this shows confidence and sincerity.

When you’re shy, making eye contact can be a little intimidating. Try this technique I learned from Tim Ferris from his book, “The 4-Hour Work Week.” Each day, where appropriate, and when you’re feeling particularly ballsy, pick a random person to make eye contact with.

Focus in on their eyes and once they connect with you, hold the gaze, and then look away. This exercise may also have unintended outcomes like being asked out on a date, but then you can also practice saying, “No, thank you,” which is a good thing to be able to do well anyway.

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Of course, you can just start looking at people in their eyes when you are talking to them. If you’re really nervous, start with your relatives. They shouldn’t be too alarmed by your sudden and intent gazing.

5. Follow through on what you say.

The most effective way to be taken seriously is to be seen as a person who follows through on what they say. If you declare you’re going to do something, do it! Forget giving reasons for why you failed. If you want to be the ‘go-to’ guy or girl, don’t come up short.

Be seen as the talented, tenacious, and indispensable person you now want to be by making sure you show up ready. Be on time to those important appointments, deliver the project on its due date, and be prepared to present like you’re giving your TEDx Talk.

6. Demonstrate conviction.

Finally, the best way to be known as a person who means business is to be seen as someone with ultimate conviction in their beliefs. Whatever it is you want to share, sell, or tell people, it has to be something that you believe in and love. The more you believe in and love it, the more people will be moved by it.

With most folks being bored by gimmicks, disappointed with mediocrity, and just plain tired of false promises, to be taken seriously nowadays you have to be on your game.

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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