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Do These 7 Things To Make Sure Your Life Matters

Do These 7 Things To Make Sure Your Life Matters

We all want to make our mark on this world. But how many of us are actually doing it? Maybe you think you are, or maybe you don’t, but it’s never too late to think about how you can make the world a better place. If you really want to leave a legacy after you’re gone, but you’re at a loss for what to do differently, remember these 7 things.

1. Teach empathy.

Empathy is a lost art, unfortunately. We live in a world where we teach people to be self-absorbed. If you don’t believe me, just look at social media. In essence, a “status update” implicitly says “Look at me! Look at me! I’m important and you’re not!” Not that there’s anything wrong with social media. But when we are so focused on getting attention from other people that we forget to show love and compassion for their pain, then I think it goes to far. So try to reach out to others and recognize their grief and struggles. Help them. Love them.

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2. Spread kindness and positive energy.

People will remember you in one very simple way: how you make them feel. Do you lift them up? Do you make them feel better about themselves? Do they want to spend more time with you because they love your positive energy and outlook on life? Or, to the contrary, do people think you’re an “Energy Vampire” who sucks the life out of others? Do you whine, complain, nag, and repeat your negative “soap operas” over and over so much that you make people want to run for the hills and never come back? Hopefully you don’t do that. But even if you do, you have the power to change. Start choosing new thoughts and words. Make people feel happy that they know you—not the opposite.

3. Teach other people life lessons you have learned.

The older we get, the more we learn. When we are kids, we think we know everything—that is, until we really start experiencing life and eventually realize how little we actually do know. Did you have a phase in your life where you drank and partied so much that you almost flunked out of school? Or maybe you were in an abusive relationship until you woke up and decided to love yourself enough to walk away. If so, take those life experiences and pass down the lessons to the next generation. Heck, it doesn’t even need to be the next generation. Just pass them along to anyone who needs to learn what you did.

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4. Put people first.

Our world values money—a lot. And not that there is anything wrong with money! Everyone loves money! But if you are so consumed with money, or power, or success (or anything else) that you forget how important people are, then you need to re-evauate your life. Treat everyone with love and respect—even your “enemies.” Treat the janitor the same way you would treat the president of the company you work for. Realize that everyone really just wants to be loved, accepted, and affirmed. It’s pretty simple. So live by the “Golden Rule” and do unto others as you would have done unto you.

5. Figure out your passion and do more of it.

Do you love creating art? Do you love writing? Do you love fishing? Whatever your passion is, do it more. You might even be able to find a way to channel it into a career. Perhaps you write in your journal or keep a blog just for the fun of it.  But maybe you can find writer’s classes to teach you how to write that novel you always had in your head. If so, do it. There is nothing more beautiful when passion meets a life purpose. The more passionate people we have in the world, the better it will be.

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6. Spend your money on experiences you will remember instead of on things you don’t need.

As the saying goes, “You can’t take it with you.” In other words, money is wonderful, but you can’t take it into the next world when you die. When you’re gone, all people will have is the memories they created with you. So if you’re using your money to buy huge house just to impress people, then maybe you’re channeling your money in the wrong direction. Instead, maybe you should downsize your house and take your family on vacations. Those are the things people remember, so re-evaluate your priorities when it comes to spending your money.

7. Keep a healthy level of social media interaction.

Sure, it’s great to re-connect with lost friends and keep up with long-distance family members. But if you find that you are literally narrating your life on social media for the whole world to see, then maybe you’ve gone too far. If you’re on vacation with your family in Disney World but you have to stop every 5 minutes to take selfies and upload them to your social media sites, then you are missing the point of a vacation. Instead, be in the moment. Enjoy the NOW. There will be time later to upload those photos. So try to disengage from social media a little bit and come back to the real world more often. You’ll be glad you did.

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Everyone’s lives matter. But if you have a sneaking suspicion that maybe you could change your ways just a little to make sure that you leave a positive legacy when you depart this world, then remember these things on a daily basis. That way, your life will have a positive impact for generations to come.

More by this author

Carol Morgan

Dr. Carol Morgan is the owner of HerSideHisSide.com, a communication professor, dating & relationship coach, TV personality, speaker, and author.

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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