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The Art of Instinct: 9 Ways to Trust Your Gut

The Art of Instinct: 9 Ways to Trust Your Gut

There’s an age-old question surrounding our thoughts and behaviors: Do we think before we act, or act before we think? The fact is much of our decision making is merely reactionary—instinctual responses to our body’s physical reactions. Clichés like “following your heart” and “trusting your gut” can often, it seems, be surprisingly accurate. No matter how much of an “over-thinker” we may believe that we are, those sweaty palms oftentimes trump our logic even when making the most important choices.

More often than not, our bodies can govern how we think and feel rather than our minds being in control. People who are most in tune with their bodies are at greater risk for being led by gut instinct.

Studies show that when we are faced with financial offers that we deem unfair, for instance, our gut feelings override our rational, quantitative decision-making abilities. Even when we will ultimately benefit from the proposal, our physical reactions make us far more likely to reject the proposition we falsely consider to be unjust.

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How do we master the art of instinct? Here are 9 tips to help you know when and when to not go with your gut:

1. Listen to your gut when making decisions that have no wrong answer or no negative consequence.

Feel like the report you’ve just written needs another review? Make it happen. Does something trivial just feel right? Don’t over-think it and just enjoy.

2. Think before you act when a choice could result in long-term consequences.

When choosing a home, for instance, it is easy to get wrapped up in the excitement of landing new digs. But, sleep on it! Weigh the pros and cons and be sure to check out plenty of homes before choosing your future residence.

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3. Don’t let your head get in the way when it comes to compassion.

If you see someone in need and feel the impulse to help, do it. Compassion is a gut instinct that should never be ignored.

4. Trust your intuition when you feel unsafe.

This doesn’t mean always letting fear get in the way, but when it comes to situations in which you feel an unwavering sense of vulnerability, listen to your instinct. If you are walking on a dark street and feel a seemingly irrational sense that the person behind you is a threat, go with your intuition and cross the street.

5. If you have a feeling that you or your child is sick.

Don’t ignore this sentiment! Take action—book an appointment. No one knows your body like you do. Listen to it!

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6. When rewards are within your capabilities.

Studies show that for many decisions, ranging from major to inconsequential, people who thought less (relied less on logic) reported being happier with their choices. Don’t let your thoughts get in the way of appreciating an exciting milestone. Just treated yourself to a new bag that’s well within your budget? Good for you! Kick that buyer’s remorse to the side.

7. Stick with your head when making decisions under emotional pressures.

If you’re having a bad day, everything can appear seemingly negative. Don’t let these physiological responses lead you to an unsound conclusion.

8. When you are self-assured.

When feeling a sudden urge of confidence for no rational reason, trust your gut and don’t let your mind bring you down. Self-assurance allows you to accomplish great feats—be sure to not let self-defeating thoughts get in your way.

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9. Don’t back-flip once you’ve committed.

Lastly, remember to ignore the chatter of your thoughts once a decision that can’t be undone has been made. Trust yourself and trust your ability to make sound choices and move on.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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