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The 17 Priceless Things We’ve Forgotten To Thank Our Best Friends For

The 17 Priceless Things We’ve Forgotten To Thank Our Best Friends For

Best friends are truely responsible for making our lifes worth living. Not only are they always up for fun experiences but they are also the ones who are there for us when we need them the most. So, the next time you meet your best friends, thank them for the following 17 priceless things.

1. Thank you for being completely honest with me – even when I don’t want to hear it.

It’s not easy to hear the truth when you don’t want to hear it. There’s something different about hearing the truth from your best friend that makes it a little more bearable. Your best friend knows that always being honest with you will make you trust them, and that’s what friendship is about.

2. Thank you for always bringing my mood up.

Anytime you’re around your best friend your mood automatically gets better. You know you are with someone who knows you inside and out, and you can be your true self around them. How can that not put you in a better mood instantly?

3. Thank you for being just as weird as I am – and enjoying every second of it.

You two wouldn’t be best friends if you weren’t the right amount of weird for each other. Your best friend is someone you can drive around with and sing every song at the top of your lungs, have specific dance moves for these songs, and not give a damn if the cars around you can see. Let’s be honest, the two of you should probably have a reality show.

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4. Thank you for being selfless. You have truly made this world a better place by caring more for others than for yourself. You are an inspiration.

Your best friend inspires you to be a better person. Through their daily life they show you how to put others above yourself, and how to enjoy doing so. It takes a special person to be selfless and put others before themselves, if you are lucky enough to have this type of person as a best friend, cherish them.

5. Thank you for knowing when something is wrong with me, and what to do to make it better.

You can’t fool your best friend. They know when something isn’t right with you, even when you try to lie through your teeth. Instead of getting frustrated with you they help you. If you are going through a breakup, they bring you your favorite type of ice cream and help you eat the whole thing. Basically, no matter what’s going on with you they know the remedy to fix it.

6. Thank you for thinking about me.

A simple text asking how you’re doing, or how your day was can instantly change your day around. Your best friend checks in with you just to say hi, because they are thinking about you. It’s a great feeling to know someone cares about you that much. You both take time out of your day just to check in.

7. Thank you for not judging me.

This is one of the most important aspects of our best friends that we forget to thank them for. We don’t always make the best decisions, but they don’t judge us for it. We can tell them anything and they listen without thinking poorly about us. They understand who we are enough to not need to judge us for anything. They love us unconditionally.

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8. Thank you for being a true friend – even when we are apart.

Distance can hurt a lot of relationships, but movement is a part of life. Your best friend is someone who has your back even when you aren’t there. They stay true to your friendship through all the miles. You two keep up with what’s going on in each other’s lives because you really care, not because you have to.

9. Thank you for being there through the good times and the bad.

No matter what you are going through you can count on your best friend to be right by your side. Whether you two are celebrating a new turning point in your life, or crying with you through a loss – you know you can always count on them.

10. Thank you for all the happy memories we share.

Let’s face it, life just wouldn’t be as much fun without your best friend. You share more memories with them then you can probably even recall. They keep things interesting and fun. Without them you wouldn’t have so many amazing experiences to look back on.

11. Thank you for going out of your way for me, even when it’s not convenient.

A best friend will go out of their way to help you out. Whether it’s picking you up from the airport during rush hour, or changing their plans for you. A true friendship isn’t always convenient, but neither of you care about that.

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12. Thank you for believing in me and encouraging me when I stray.

Sometimes you just need a little extra push. Your best friend encourages you to make changes and believe that you will not fail. They have your best interest at hand and only want you to succeed. When you’re feeling down they know what words of encouragement to use to help get you back on track.

13. Thank you for sincerely loving me, and considering me family.

A best friend loves you for you, and nothing else. When you are acting out of the norm they will call you out on it, all because they care. They (and their family) consider you as their own. You can walk into their house without ringing the doorbell and no one would bat an eye. Card games, family dinners, and vacations are just some perks of having a best friend.

14. Thank you for forgiving me and being patient when we argue.

Arguments happen in any relationship. Your best friend will forgive you for an argument. You both might need some time to cool off, but afterwards things will be as if the fight never happened. At the end of the day, you fight with those you care most about. Your best friend will forgive you, and you will forgive them.

15. Thank you for all the drunken dance parties, cab rides, and heart-to-hearts.

Because who wants to do any of that by themselves? Your best friend will be right beside you on the dance floor, talking the cabbies ear off, and then having serious conversations about life with you. You wouldn’t want to share those drunken moments with anyone else.

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16. Thank you for breaking me out of my shell.

Your best friend will push your boundaries. They will make you go places and meet people you never would have on your own. As long as you have them by your side you aren’t afraid to try new things.

17. Thank you for being YOU!

Plain and simple.

Featured photo credit: Flower Girls via freeimages.com

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Published on April 7, 2021

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

Some of the most manipulative people are so good at what they do that their words and actions can convince you into thinking they truly care about what’s best for you when in reality, it’s quite the opposite. The most common signs of a controlling person are rarely obvious to outside observers. And for someone enmeshed in a controlling relationship or friendship, it can be incredibly challenging to stay away from this toxic person, even if you’re aware of their emotionally abusive tendencies.

While it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether to preserve or leave a lopsided, unfulfilling relationship, it’s nevertheless critical to understand the following six signs of controlling people so you can better advocate for yourself and mitigate the influence of their manipulative tendencies in your own life.

1. They Push Their Own Personal Agenda

Do you know someone who always tries to micromanage the words, behaviors, and attitudes of people around them? Does this person act like they have the right to know anything they want about you, including your location, what you’re doing in a given moment, who you’re talking to online, or any other private information about you? And when planning events and special occasions, does this person dominate conversations, steer plans in their own preferred directions, disparage others’ suggestions, and refuse to collaborate with anyone who might disagree with them?

If you answered “yes” to some of the above questions, then those are clear signs of a controlling person whom you absolutely need to be cautious around. Controlling people are reluctant to even consider alternative ideas, let alone enthusiastically work with people who have differing views. They prefer to be the captain of every ship—regardless of how much or how little an issue personally impacts them—and they have an arsenal of manipulative tactics to deploy if someone stands in the way of them achieving their own personal agendas.

In long-term relationships with controlling people, you may feel constantly pressured to meet their demands, follow their schedule, and focus on whatever they feel is most important. It’s not an exaggeration to say that these people act like the universe revolves around them, which can be exhausting to deal with for their family members, friends, and colleagues.

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2. They Make Everything Transactional

Controlling people aren’t always self-centered, but they’re not too empathetic either. Empathy for them tends to appear in the form of strategic concessions they use as a means to get what they want. They typically view interpersonal relationships as transactional opportunities to extract more value from people surrounding them, which can have a draining effect on those they interact with.

For example, one sign of a controlling person may be their insistence on “keeping score.” This can involve doing nice things for you with the ulterior motive of demanding something from you at a later date in exchange for what you thought was just an act of kindness or a friendly support.

Perhaps they shower you in praise (also known as “love-bombing”) or gifts then blow up at you if you don’t intuitively know they’re expecting something back from you. None of us are mind-readers, but controlling people behave as though everyone else should think and act like they want others to and those who fall out of line are punished for failing to meet their impossible expectations.

A controlling person may also threaten to withhold support if you don’t adhere to their demands, but they do so in such subtle ways that the guilt they impose blinds you from the unreasonable nature of their behaviors.

Some statements to be wary of include:

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  • “I did ___________ for you. What do you mean you can’t do ___________ for me?”
  • “Remember how I helped you with ___________? That took a lot of time and energy from me, but I guess you didn’t appreciate my help.”
  • “I always give you ___________. Don’t you care about my needs too?”
  • “You’re so selfish!” or “You don’t care about me at all!” (gaslighting if you respond with hesitation or politely decline their request for help for perfectly valid reasons, such as not having enough time or resources to assist them)

3. They Criticize Everything

One of the most common telltale signs of a controlling person is their capacity to criticize anything and everything, even small things that seemingly don’t matter. As with many toxic traits in relationships, these problems typically start out so small that you may not even notice. At first, you may even agree with their criticism or at least be able to understand their perspective when they bring up an issue.

However, the criticism tends to get more intense, more constant, and more perplexing for people who maintain relationships with controlling people. You’ll likely notice how they rarely seem to criticize something they do. It’s almost always other-oriented and these types of people are so manipulative that any rationale they offer can seem plausibly legitimate.

Some warning signs of a controlling person who’s overly critical to the point of abusiveness include:

  • Criticizing things about you that you have little to no control over (e.g., appearance, disability, family)
  • Criticizing your personal choices and interests, such as educational pursuits, career, clothing, favorite music, time spent on your hobbies, etc.
  • Punishing you for expressing vulnerability by invalidating thoughts and feelings you share with them
  • Attacking you whenever you express an opinion counter to theirs

4. They Balk When Someone Criticizes Them

We all know the adage, “what goes around, comes around.” But this statement doesn’t apply as much to toxic, controlling people. They’d much prefer to dish out criticism without ever having to take it in return.

For instance, if your friend constantly talks about your appearance with little regard for your emotions but flips out if you make just a single comment about their appearance, there’s a possibility that they could have some hidden controlling tendencies left unchecked. Remember, these people aren’t just controlling in their behaviors towards others. They’re also actively trying to stay in complete control over every aspect of their lives, which includes how others view them.

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This seemingly insatiable desire for control can prompt them to lash out against even the smallest bits of criticism, leaving people around them too weary or scared to speak up again in the future. While it’s possible they may suffer from something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, this does not excuse them from the consequences of their words and actions. They should seek professional help to better manage their reactions to criticism.

5. They Socially Isolate You

Not all controlling people do this, but for manipulative narcissists, socially isolating victims is a go-to strategy for maintaining control because it’s effective at preventing people from truly understanding how toxic their partner, family member, or friend is treating them. Think of it this way—if you don’t talk to many other people in your life, there’s less of a risk that you’ll damage their reputation by revealing their abusive tendencies.

Socially isolating others also gives the person more control over you and your life as it becomes more difficult to break away from them if you don’t have other healthier channels of communication and interpersonal support to turn to.

This process doesn’t happen overnight, nor is it something you can readily recognize as abusive. At first, it may seem reasonable, such as asking you to stop engaging so often with family members with whom both of you disagree on major social or political issues. As the social isolation progresses, they may suggest cutting people out of your life—especially if they don’t like that person, regardless of how you personally feel—or even conjure up high-stakes problems like “it’s me or them” under the guise of saving you from people in your life whom they don’t like for whatever reason.

In a controlling person’s life narrative, they’re always the protagonist who’s incapable of any wrongdoing. The blame is always redirected at someone else, whether that’s you or other people in your life. The more they isolate you from other supportive people in your life, the more susceptible you’ll be to falsely believing that they’re right and you “don’t need” your other friends and family when you have someone as perfect as this person.

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6. They’re Emotionally Abusive

It’s hard enough to be in control of your own emotions but when someone else is constantly belittling you and your interests or leveraging guilt and shame to manipulate you into saying or doing what they want, this can make it even more challenging to stay in control of your own life and emotional well-being.

Emotional abuse is another sign of a controlling person that is often overlooked in relationships. After all, human personalities vary widely in terms of passivity, and it’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to be significantly more passive than the other. This becomes an issue when the controlling partner or friend exudes signs of emotional abuse, which can start subtly and become much more pronounced over time.

Concerning signs of emotionally abusive language or behavior to watch out for include:

  • Dismissing your needs and/or belittling your interests in counterproductive ways
  • Privately or publicly shaming or humiliating you
  • Making you feel as though you can never live up to their expectations or do anything right (according to their own vague, subjective standards)
  • Gaslighting you into thinking they said or did something that never actually happened (making you question your own reality)

Final Thoughts

It’s sometimes hard to see the negative things about someone with whom we have a relationship. We may sometimes unconsciously overlook the signs of a controlling person, especially if that person is someone we have known for a long time or are close to us. However, cutting them off your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just watch out for these six signs of a controlling person and take immediate action when you spot them.

More Tips on How To Deal With a Controlling Person

Featured photo credit: Külli Kittus via unsplash.com

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