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7 Steps You Can Take To Develop Lifelong Motivation

7 Steps You Can Take To Develop Lifelong Motivation

Motivation is the key to empowering your life and helping you achieve your goals and desires. However, few people know how to tap into the full potential of motivation, and most only feel intense motivation for short periods of time or fail to act on their feelings. Learning how to develop lifelong motivation will greatly affect your quality of life and helps to keep you going through the hard times.

Identify What You Want and Why

The first step to developing lifelong motivation is to determine what you truly want and why you want it. You might want to be rich or simply want to find happiness in your life. Identifying what you really want takes time, this means taking time to reflect on yourself and spending time soul-searching. Once you find what you want, you must then find the reason behind this desire. Wanting something “just because” is not a strong enough foundation to build lifelong motivation; you must find your own reason as to why you want something.

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Once you find what you want and why, it is a good idea to write it down. This helps you remember, and it also materializes your thoughts which psychologically makes them real and achievable.

Be Bold

No one who has lifelong motivation plays it “safe” or stays within their comfort zones all the time. Being bold means knowing that you will have to do things you may find unpleasant or scary. As you expose yourself to these scenarios more often, you will become more tolerant of being outside of your comfort zone, which will allow you to attempt greater things.

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Develop a Plan to Get What You Want

One of the biggest factors to finding lifelong motivation is knowing how to achieve it. Once you develop a strategy or plan to achieve what you want, you can begin working towards your goal. A plan helps you visualize each step and this mental image motivates you to reach the end destination. As you complete each phase of your plan you will find yourself much more motivated and excited about the next upcoming challenges.

Take Action

All of this advice is useless if you don’t act upon it. Ideas and wishful thinking will spark short-term motivation, but if you don’t act upon these feelings then nothing will change and you will find yourself feeling unmotivated again. Once you find what you want and developed a plan to reach that goal, then immediately start taking action before you have a chance to second-guess yourself. All the thinking and planning should already be done, and all you have to do is start progressing towards your final goal.

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Never Be Afraid of Failure

Fear of failure is the number one killer for motivation. Instead of fearing failure, you should learn to embrace it. Once you understand that failure can be a good thing, you’ll be able to accept the fact that you don’t have to be perfect at everything you do. Many people fall into the trap of waiting for the perfect time or opportunity to avoid failing, but this often leads to inaction. Learn from your failures and understand that every successful person had to fail many times before finding what works for them.

Learn How to Get Through a Rough Time

If you are able to stay positive and dig yourself out of a bad position then you’ll develop a “never give up” mentality, which is an essential ingredient in developing lifelong motivation. Learning to get through a rough time must be experienced first-hand, but once you emerge from your bad predicament, you will feel victorious, and you’ll be able to apply this winning mentality into everything you do. Going through a rough time teaches us that everything will be OK and how to manage ourselves when things are not going the way we want them to.

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Evaluate and Reflect on Both Your Successes and Failures

To develop lifelong motivation, you must learn from both your successes and failures. This allows you to fast-track your success in the future and avoid making the same mistakes in future endeavors. Not only does this empower you because you know that you’ve learned something new, but it also reminds you that you did all of the steps above (and more) and you are able to change your course of life if you put your mind to it.

Motivation is an elusive feeling; it can come and go at a moment’s notice, but once you learn how to harness its power, you will greatly improve the quality of your life. For more motivation, here is an interesting speech by TED which talks about why people fail to achieve a great career and why we are afraid to try.

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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