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Resilience – A Key to Happiness

Resilience – A Key to Happiness

As life grows increasingly complex, happiness seems to grow more and more elusive. There is no guarantee that you will not face setbacks in life, but how you choose to deal with them is definitely in your control. A person who lives by this mantra, one who bounces back from the blows of life with spirit intact, is said to possess that rarest of qualities – resilience.

Putting Disappointment in Perspective

When we read of the number of people seeking escape from life’s realities through drink, drugs, alcohol, and even suicide, one fact is painfully clear – they lack the ability to see things with the right perspective. Agreed, you may have flunked the exam, but does that have to mean you are a failure? Perhaps you are not able to keep a steady relationship, but does that mean you can never be happy? Failing to do well at studies or work, an enterprise that fails to take off and instead lands you in debt, a debilitating illness, or losing a loved one – all of these are part and parcel of life and if you do not want these to turn you into a nervous wreck, it is vital you put such disappointments in perspective.

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Tips to Improve Resilience

Resilience is a quality that is a combination of several things – a positive attitude, the ability to discriminate between right and wrong, the strength to do what is difficult without giving in to impulses, and the ability to believe in yourself and your abilities. Here are a few tips on how you can build resilience.

Bolster Belief

Think back to past events that, at that time, had seemed like insurmountable problems. Recollect how bad things seemed and yet, how they ultimately changed for the better. Look for positives you can take from such incidents – how you learned something new, or how it was all for good in the long run. Tell yourself that the present situation is a similar one, and think of how, in the future, you will be wondering why you felt so seriously down over such a trivial issue.

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Connect with Resilient People

Find someone in your social circle whom you admire for their resilience in the face of trouble. It could be a parent who struggled to raise you alone, or it could be a sibling who overcame his or her limitations, or a teacher who faced professional difficulties without batting an eyelid, or a friend who made a success out of a failed marriage – just look around yourself with a discriminating eye and you will find multiple examples of people who show resilience. Connect with such people and get their support – especially when you are feeling low. Avoid contact with people who encourage you to feel self-pity because this will only bog you down even more.

Do Something Meaningful

One of the best ways to put your life in perspective is to open your eyes and see the troubles other people face. Visit an orphanage or an old age home and see how people cope with not having their close ones; visit a centre for the differently-abled and see how they strive to make their way through life. Do not stop with mentally appreciating their spirit; strive to do something to contribute to them. Find something that gives you a sense of purpose – volunteer for work in your community or join a group that does something for the deprived people in society.

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Pay Attention to Yourself

Resilience has a lot to do with how good you feel about yourself and about life in general; in turn, this is influenced by your state of physical and mental health. Make time for regular exercise – the endorphins released during exercise will help to boost your mood. Practice deep breathing, meditation, or yoga to keep your mind free of stress. Pursue a hobby and participate in activities that give you joy and help you relax. If you find yourself unable to cope with stressful events in your life, ask for help. Sometimes, confiding in a close family member or a friend can help you feel better; if this too does not seem to help, it makes sense to seek guidance from a mental health counselor.

Being resilient is not easy – it takes a lot of effort and of course, time. An important point to remember is that people who are resilient are not those who have absolutely no stress in their life; it’s just that they have learned the art of coping with it and bouncing back from the setbacks they face. Ignoring a problem in the hope it will go away is not the solution; facing up to it squarely, taking time to deal with it, and recovering your poise is what constitutes resilience and this is often the factor that distinguishes the true winners from the also-rans.

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None of us can order our life to make sure there are no shocks – all we can do is ensure we have the right shock absorbers in place so that we suffer minimal damage, and bounce back quickly, looking to the future with hope and optimism.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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