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Resilience – A Key to Happiness

Resilience – A Key to Happiness

As life grows increasingly complex, happiness seems to grow more and more elusive. There is no guarantee that you will not face setbacks in life, but how you choose to deal with them is definitely in your control. A person who lives by this mantra, one who bounces back from the blows of life with spirit intact, is said to possess that rarest of qualities – resilience.

Putting Disappointment in Perspective

When we read of the number of people seeking escape from life’s realities through drink, drugs, alcohol, and even suicide, one fact is painfully clear – they lack the ability to see things with the right perspective. Agreed, you may have flunked the exam, but does that have to mean you are a failure? Perhaps you are not able to keep a steady relationship, but does that mean you can never be happy? Failing to do well at studies or work, an enterprise that fails to take off and instead lands you in debt, a debilitating illness, or losing a loved one – all of these are part and parcel of life and if you do not want these to turn you into a nervous wreck, it is vital you put such disappointments in perspective.

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Tips to Improve Resilience

Resilience is a quality that is a combination of several things – a positive attitude, the ability to discriminate between right and wrong, the strength to do what is difficult without giving in to impulses, and the ability to believe in yourself and your abilities. Here are a few tips on how you can build resilience.

Bolster Belief

Think back to past events that, at that time, had seemed like insurmountable problems. Recollect how bad things seemed and yet, how they ultimately changed for the better. Look for positives you can take from such incidents – how you learned something new, or how it was all for good in the long run. Tell yourself that the present situation is a similar one, and think of how, in the future, you will be wondering why you felt so seriously down over such a trivial issue.

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Connect with Resilient People

Find someone in your social circle whom you admire for their resilience in the face of trouble. It could be a parent who struggled to raise you alone, or it could be a sibling who overcame his or her limitations, or a teacher who faced professional difficulties without batting an eyelid, or a friend who made a success out of a failed marriage – just look around yourself with a discriminating eye and you will find multiple examples of people who show resilience. Connect with such people and get their support – especially when you are feeling low. Avoid contact with people who encourage you to feel self-pity because this will only bog you down even more.

Do Something Meaningful

One of the best ways to put your life in perspective is to open your eyes and see the troubles other people face. Visit an orphanage or an old age home and see how people cope with not having their close ones; visit a centre for the differently-abled and see how they strive to make their way through life. Do not stop with mentally appreciating their spirit; strive to do something to contribute to them. Find something that gives you a sense of purpose – volunteer for work in your community or join a group that does something for the deprived people in society.

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Pay Attention to Yourself

Resilience has a lot to do with how good you feel about yourself and about life in general; in turn, this is influenced by your state of physical and mental health. Make time for regular exercise – the endorphins released during exercise will help to boost your mood. Practice deep breathing, meditation, or yoga to keep your mind free of stress. Pursue a hobby and participate in activities that give you joy and help you relax. If you find yourself unable to cope with stressful events in your life, ask for help. Sometimes, confiding in a close family member or a friend can help you feel better; if this too does not seem to help, it makes sense to seek guidance from a mental health counselor.

Being resilient is not easy – it takes a lot of effort and of course, time. An important point to remember is that people who are resilient are not those who have absolutely no stress in their life; it’s just that they have learned the art of coping with it and bouncing back from the setbacks they face. Ignoring a problem in the hope it will go away is not the solution; facing up to it squarely, taking time to deal with it, and recovering your poise is what constitutes resilience and this is often the factor that distinguishes the true winners from the also-rans.

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None of us can order our life to make sure there are no shocks – all we can do is ensure we have the right shock absorbers in place so that we suffer minimal damage, and bounce back quickly, looking to the future with hope and optimism.

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Last Updated on May 17, 2019

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

The pursuit of worthwhile goals is a part of what makes life enjoyable. Being able to set a goal, then see yourself progress towards achieving that goal is an amazing feeling.

But do you know the biggest obstacle for most people trying to achieve their goals, the silent dream killer that stops people before they ever even get started? That obstacle is the comfort zone, and getting stuck there is bound to derail any efforts you make towards achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.

If you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to break free from your comfort zone. Let’s take a look at how your life will change once you build up the courage to leave your comfort zone.

What Is the Comfort Zone?

The comfort zone is defined as “a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.”

What stands out to me the most about that definition is the last part: “using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.” How many successful people do you know who deliver a steady level of performance?

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The goal in life is to continually challenge yourself, and continually improve yourself. And in order to do that, you have move out of your comfort zone. But once you do, your life will start to change in ways you could never have imagined. I know because it’s happening right now in my own life.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. You will be scared

Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy. In fact, in can be downright terrifying at times, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little trepidation when you’re embarking on a journey that forces you to try new things.

So don’t freak out or get overwhelmed when you feel yourself getting a little scared. It’s perfectly normal and all part of the process. What’s important is that you don’t let that fear hold you back. You must continue to take action in the face of fear.

That’s what separates winners from losers.

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2. You will fail

Stepping out of your comfort zone means you’re moving into uncharted territory. You’re trying things that you’ve never tried before, and learning things you’ve never learned before.

That steep learning curve means you’re not going to get everything right the first time, and you will eventually fail when you move out of your comfort zone. But as long as the failures aren’t catastrophic, it can actually be a good thing to fail because …

3. You will learn

Failure is the best teacher. I’ve learned more from each one of my failures than I have from each one of my successes. When you fail small, and fail often, you rapidly increase the rate at which you learn new insights and skills. And that new knowledge, if applied correctly, will eventually lead to your success.

4. You will see yourself in a different way

Once you move out of your comfort zone, you immediately prove to yourself that you’re capable of achieving more than you thought was possible. And that will change the way you see yourself.

Moving forward, you’ll have more confidence in yourself whenever you step out of your comfort zone, and that increased confidence will make it more likely that you continue to step outside your comfort zone. And each time you do, you’ll prove to yourself again and again what you’re really capable of.

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5. Your peers will see you in a different way

Whether we want to admit or not, people judge other people. And right now, people view you in a certain way, and they have a certain idea of what you’re capable of. That’s because they’ve become accustomed to seeing you operate in your comfort zone.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you’ll prove to other people, as well, that you’re capable of much more than you’ve shown in the past.

The increased confidence other people place in you will bring about more opportunities than ever before.

6. Your comfort zone will expand

The good thing about the comfort zone is that it’s flexible and malleable. With each action you take outside of your comfort zone, it expands. And once you master that new skill or action, it eventually becomes part of your comfort zone.

This is great news for you because it means that you can constantly increase and improve upon the behaviors that you’re comfortable with. And the more tools and skills you have at your disposal, the easier it will be to achieve your goals.

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7. You will increase your concentration and focus

When you’re living inside of your comfort zone, the bulk of your actions are habitual: automatic, subconscious, and requiring limited focus.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you no longer rely on those habitual responses. You’re forced to concentrate and focus on the new action in a way you never do in your comfort zone.

8. You will develop new skills

Moving out of your comfort zone requires that you develop new skills. One of the many benefits you’ll experience is that you’ll be stepping away from the “limited set of behaviors” and start to develop your ability and expertise in new areas.

Living inside of your comfort zone only requires a limited skill set, and those skills won’t contribute much to your success. Once you can confidently step outside of your comfort zone and learn a new skill, there’s no limit to how much you can achieve.

9. You will achieve more than before

With everything that happens once you move out of your comfort zone, you’re naturally going to achieve more than ever before.

Your increased concentration and focus will help you develop new skills. Those new skills will change the way you see yourself, encouraging you to step even further out of your comfort zone.

Featured photo credit: Josef Grunig via farm3.staticflickr.com

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