Advertising

Relax Maverick! 10 Things Everyone Needs To Chill Out About In Their 20s

Advertising
Relax Maverick! 10 Things Everyone Needs To Chill Out About In Their 20s

Being stressed and in your 20s are two things that most certainly do not belong together. Personally having just exited the terrific twenties and now entering into the thrilling thirties, my battle wounds are still fresh enough to be able to throw some warning signs and wisdom toward my fellow denizens who are still battling through their twenties. Most people looking back on their twenties will describe the decade as very much the formative years of finding your feet, figuring your niche, your purpose, your passion and beginning to anchor down.

In light of the abstract nature of finding your groove, there are many things that you are probably taking more seriously than you need to. Here are 10 things you need to chill out about.

Advertising

1. Getting That Ring By Spring (any Spring in your twenties that is)

The average age for marriage has shifted in the 1950s from the very early twenties to now very close to the age of thirty. Factors such as the increase in the standard of living in most countries means more years added to life, and more career opportunities means more time to figure things out. While there are certainly benefits to getting married young, you can relax, because the days of getting married in your early twenties have faded and nobody is going to raise an eyebrow if you do not have that ring on your finger yet.

2. Chasing That College Degree

People used to freak out if you did not have a college degree. Now with the developments in technology and the vast availability of knowledge and education online, the face of education is changing from traditional and conventional forms. Not only are the possibilities of succeeding without going to college even greater, but you are able to learn pretty much anything and everything online without having to jump through the hoops at an institution.

Advertising

3. Setting Up That 10-year Plan

Remember that dreadful style that you used to do your hair in thinking it was the hippest coolest look ever, only to now hang your head in shame? Things change. Your desires in your twenties will almost certainly be different as you get older. By all means, go ahead and write out a plan for your life—just be ready to throw it in the trash and write out a new one in a couple of years, or a couple of weeks! Better yet, forget the plan and just take it a day at a time!

4. “Keeping up with the Joneses”

Do not start playing the comparison game with people around you that you feel may be more “successful” than you are. Run your own race. It would be tragic to let envy force you into making a foolish decision for the sake of trying to mimic someone else’s lifestyle.

Advertising

5. Getting “Established”

You really do not want to get caught up in the rat-race during your twenties. Avoid getting caught into the 9–5 because you desire some sort of structure to your life. Your twenties is the perfect time not to have any structure! Steer away from making significant investments such as buying a brand new car or a house. These things will certainly shackle you down and cause a ton of stress if you cannot break free.

6. Letting Down Momma & Poppa

Some parents will voice their opinions louder than others. It is always a tricky balance trying to avoid a war with the parents as you deal with their pressures and expectations. Just remember not to be ashamed of failing to meet their expectations for your life during your twenties. Hey, you have another decade, and more after that to make them happy.

Advertising

7. Rollin’ Like a Millionaire

Stress less about having that financial stability. There will always be those few lucky souls who hit the jackpot early on. As long as you have enough cash to live off of, there is no need to start thinking about that retirement fund yet.

8. Living With Your Oldies

You are not the only one. As the saying goes, “there is strength in numbers.” The statistics of people in their twenties who are still living with their parents is overwhelming. You are just another drop in the ocean of many others doing the same thing. No need for the embarrassment. Enjoy being rent-free while it lasts!

Advertising

9. Everyone’s 2 Cents

Advice can be helpful, but it can also be harmful. Take everything with a grain of salt and do not let anyone’s opinion confine you into doing something just because it seems like a “wise” thing to do, or what you are meant to be doing.

10. Making Mistakes

Not only stress less about making mistakes; go ahead and embrace them. Mistakes are a crucial part of the learning process. There’s no doubt  that your desire is to learn and grow as much as possible throughout your twenties, so your success is going to go hand-in-hand with your failures. Michael Jordan is famous for his statement, “I failed twice as much as I have succeeded.”

More by this author

Thai Nguyen

Thai's a Mindfulness-Meditation Coach, a 5-Star Chef and an International Kickboxer.

17 Ways To Learn New Skills Faster and Enjoy the Process 20 Essential Books To Supercharge Your Productivity 12 Things The World Cup Losing Teams Teach You About Success If Looks Could Kill | 8 Killer Ways to Dominate Every First Impression Homesick? 9 Simple Ways to Feel At Home Wherever You Are

Trending in Communication

1 15 Things You Don’t Need To Apologize For (Though You Think You Do) 2 10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character 3 10 Scientifically Proven Ways To Stay Happy All The Time 4 8 Signs That Your Current Relationship Has No Future 5 How to Learn a Language in Just 30 Minutes a Day

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

Advertising
10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

Advertising

But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

Advertising

Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

Advertising

Read Next