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An Open Letter From Introverts

An Open Letter From Introverts

Dear readers,

Owing to the fact that we introverts do not easily and openly talk about ourselves in front of large audiences, I take it to task, on behalf of all the other introverts, to share with you some little known facts about us. The purpose of this open letter is not to justify, apologise or make a point about why introverts are introverts. We don’t need to and feel no inclination to do so.

The points below are simply to help shed some light on our worldview and dispositions, and also how you might come to understand better our relationship with you.

We <3 extroverts.

In general we find good complementarity with extrovert characters. They keep the momentum going and fill in the gap. Our energies can mix very well–we give extroverts the space to talk and express themselves while extroverts give us the space to be us while they are busy being them.

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We love to socialise…in very small doses.

While there is no way you will drag us to a raging party, we don’t outright abhor social gatherings. Yes, we would be more comfortable with people we are already acquainted with and in small groups, but we also approve of a fair bit of socialising in general. We also recognise its benefits and enjoyment.

We love to communicate. We just hate small talk.

An introvert is not incommunicado. We just don’t like petty gossip, small talk and superficial nonsense. Most of us are good communicators, whether in speech or in writing. We like to discuss and get deep into conversations about all sorts of interesting subjects and topics that catch our fantasy.

Don’t be annoyed if we don’t call first, because we just won’t.

Admittedly it is true that we are not quite good at taking initiative in relationships. So my word of advice to those men or women who have a relationship with an introvert: please get over the fact that he or she won’t call you first, nor start the discussion nor perhaps suggest an initiative. Don’t be annoyed. It’s not because we don’t care but it’s just the way we flow.

We care for others’ feelings more than you think.

We have a bit of a stigma for being uncaring and detached. This is not true. Just because we don’t wear our emotions on our sleeves doesn’t mean we don’t care. Quite oppositely, in a group for example, because we observe more and participate less than extroverts, we do notice more people’s feelings.

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Extroverts, on the other hand, are not very much influenced by the feedback of others because they run on their own steam–so to speak. Introverts are more sensitive to what the other is feeling although might not respond to it openly.

We are not loners; we just need space.

We might pass on your invitation for a social activity and tell you we are going to spend the night in. The thing is, dear readers, we love our space. It’s a bit sacred. It doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy company, but we also like to spend time in our space.

We don’t like clubs, parties or discos.

Clearly these are no-go areas. As an introvert, I sincerely don’t know what bugs us most from these environments. It might be the noise, the chaos or the fact that they are often frequented by people who have a general carefree attitude towards life. I really don’t know.

We enjoy peace and alone time.

I mentioned already we like to have our space. What some non-introverts fail to understand is how it is that we love to be alone. I have observed that many people are scared or annoyed to be alone, even for short periods of time. For some being alone or traveling alone comes across as weird or uncomfortable. There is no weirdness in this for introverts because we love our peace and are quite at peace being with just ourselves.

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We are masters at observing others.

In large groups, or in a group of people we don’t yet know, we take a back seat at first. We take time to observe people before interacting. It’s not a sign of insecurity but more one of precaution or strategy. This has made us extremely skilful at observing people deeply.

Give us time and we’ll get to know each other better than average.

Granted that we are not good at taking initiative and we are quite slow at starting up any relationship. However, allowing us the time we get to know others better than average, either because the communication is deeper or because we tend to discard the superficial stuff quite quickly.

Last but not least I must also add that in view of, or despite of, all the facts above, we make up an amazing group of people who have a lot to contribute–introverts also tend to be very creative–and can be very good loyal friends or partners for life. I truly hope this helps next time you see the dear introvert you know and love.

Sincerely,

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An introverted writer

Featured photo credit: Central Park’s North Meadow, Aug 2009 – 02/Ed Yourdon via flickr.com

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Last Updated on June 19, 2019

12 Signs You Are A Lifelong Learner

12 Signs You Are A Lifelong Learner

Formal education is something everyone has to go through to a certain degree, and the knowledge it offers isn’t always that practical in real life. Life long learning is how you improve as a person, bit by bit and day by day.

Life long learners recognize the importance and joy of growth so they never settle for what they currently know and always seek for improvement.

Here are 12 signs these life long learners have in common – see how many of them you recognize in yourself.

1. They read on a daily basis.

Whatever problem or dilemma you currently face, there’s definitely at least one decent book that discusses it and presents a variety of solutions.

Reading is a great way to open up new horizons, train your brain and revolutionize your life. I can’t even count how many times books completely transformed the way I view the world, and it’s always a change for the better. Through reading, you can connect with successful people and learn from the lessons they share.

Life long learners love to get lost in books and do it regularly. Bill Gates knows that reading matters a lot; on his personal blog, he reviews plenty of game-changing books.

Due to technology, you can access a bookshelf of the wealthiest entrepreneur on this planet.

2. They attend various courses.

Whether it’s online or offline, there are countless courses you can participate in without spending a dime on it. These are great opportunities to connect with clever and like-minded people and learn from them.

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Because of the advanced technology, you can now gain knowledge from online programs, starting from coding through self-improvement to programs from top universities.

There are literally endless ways to thrive. What life long learners have in common is squeezing as much as possible out of these opportunities.

3. They seek opportunities to grow.

Instead of spending your free time laying on the couch and watching TV, you prefer doing something creative and practical. You know every wasted minute is gone forever.

That’s why you’d rather practice your language skills with a native-speaker you’ve met, engage in local meet up or attend a class that teaches something you always wanted to learn.

Life long learners stay up-to-date with growth opportunities in their areas and participate in them frequently.

4. They take care of their bodies.

“Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity.” — John F. Kennedy

A clever mind combined with a body in a great condition is the best asset you can have. Our bodies were designed to run, walk, jump, swim, lift and much more. Leading a sedentary lifestyle harms both your physical and mental sphere.

Life long learners know the body is your temple. In order to make it flourish for as long as possible, they train regularly, move a lot and eat healthy.

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5. They have diverse passions.

Among Steve Jobs’ wise quotes, there’s one I like especially. It’s about connecting the dots:

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” — Steve Jobs

Each dot is some event or skill in your life, and it’s only when you go through these elements that you know how to combine them into something great.

Having a variety of passions indicates that you love to progress. By practicing different skills, you give yourself an advantage over the rest of the people. During hard times, you are more likely to to act intelligently and solve your problems with less effort.

6. They love making progress.

If behind the efforts, there is passion and a deep desire to grow, your chances of success are way higher, compared to when you are forced to learn.

Life long learners love to experience the constant growth and improvement. The breakthrough moments help them to notice the impressive change that took place because of the learning process. Any milestone serves as a driving force for further headway.

7. They challenge themselves with specific goals.

In order to keep growing, you clearly define your goals. Smart goal setting is one of the tools to ensure constant growth.

Since you love challenges, a difficult goal doesn’t scare you. Quite the opposite, it keeps you motivated and engaged.

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Research showed that precise and ambitious goals increase the performance of an individual. As we already agreed, life long learners are people who care about their performance, hence they never stop improving.

8. They embrace change.

A complete change can lead to incredible results. This is especially visible on the example of successful companies.

Oftentimes, it’s that transformation which created space for their so-called overnight success. Twitter was originally created as an internal service to serve Odeo employees. Currently, it has over 300 million monthly active users and is considered the second biggest social network.

As a life long learner, you know a change can lead to extraordinary results so you welcome it and stay open minded about making a shift.

9. They believe it’s never too late to start something.

Some people tend to think after a certain age, they are no longer allowed to start something and become successful. The truth is, it’s just a lame excuse not to leave the comfort zone.

Opposite to common misconceptions, there’s no wrong age to begin something. Henry Ford was 45 when he invented the Ford Model T car, which is considered as the first affordable automobile.

Sure, for some domains like becoming a professional athlete, starting early is required. However, to learn and improve for its own sake, you are never too old.

10. Their attitude to getting better is contagious.

“We now accept the fact that learning is a life long process of keeping abreast of change. And the most pressing task is to teach people how to learn.” — Peter Drucker

There’s nothing better than to see your surroundings getting involved in what you actively participate in. Oftentimes, the best way to achieve that is to inspire them and be the example. As Gandhi would say, you need to be the change you want to see in the world.

As a life long learner, you are extremely passionate about the constant growth and people around you can sense that positive attitude. As a result, they start acting similarly.

11. They leave their comfort zone.

Is it really better to step out of your comfort zone? The answer is always yes.

You always embrace discomfort as you know the path to success leads through hardship and countless obstacles. Instead of being afraid of facing them, you challenge yourself to overcome more and more difficult handicaps.

Every time you get out of your comfort zone, regardless whether you win or fail, you learn something new. That’s the part you love the most!

12. They never settle down.

“Knowledge is exploding, so you need to commit yourself to a plan for life long learning.” — Don Tapscott

A sense of being clever enough is something you don’t experience. Without a doubt, you appreciate what you already know, but that’s never a reason to stop. You just know once you stop learning, you lose the amazing privilege humans have, namely an ability to a never-ending intellectual development.

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Featured photo credit: Christin Hume via unsplash.com

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