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Only Compassionate People Would Do These 20 Things

Only Compassionate People Would Do These 20 Things

Though a lot of people enjoy being treated well by a compassionate person, not many appreciate them as much as they deserve. Compassion is not only a characteristic it’s a complete lifestyle. Here are ten things only compassionate people do.

1. They put other people’s needs above theirs.

Even if they don’t intentionally do this, compassionate people are always worry about the ones they love more than themselves. When someone tells a compassionate person about a problem or a struggle they always want to take the burden from them.

2. They always listen first, speak second.

A lot of us get into hot water by speaking before we think things through. Compassionate people do not have this difficulty, as they are always hyper aware of how they sound, the message they convey, and the true impact their words will cause. They are not quick to make sure their voice is heard, but rather that everyone else is heard before them.

3. They volunteer for the least favorable task if it helps others.

Taking the second cab home when waiting outside a cold bar late at night. Paying full price when you’re the ninth person of the group on a “two for one night.” Putting your highly anticipated night in by yourself on hold for a friend who just had a bad breakup. Compassionate people always volunteer to help other people in tough situations even if it means being uncomfortable.

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4. They approach other people’s problems as their own, and make for great listeners.

Compassionate people are particularly gifted, and also cursed, at helping other people with their problems. If it means lending a listening ear, driving across town at 3am with a pint of “cheer-me-up-Ben & Jerry’s”, or brainstorming fictitious ways for you friend to get back at her ex, compassionate people will always treat your problems as theirs. They are particularly good at this because to their ability to act on and vocalize their empathy. They also recognize when other people are in trouble or feeling pain without being told.

5. They never leave your side, and always have your back.

It doesn’t matter who or what you’re up against, a compassionate person will never abandon the people they care about. For this reason alone, compassionate people make elite friends because of their dedication to a person regardless of the situation.

6. They think with their brain, not their emotions.

This is easier said than done, but compassionate people have mastered it. In times of high stress or tension, compassionate people are able to assess the situation rationally to obtain the most ideal way to respond and react. A conflict usually results in a completely diffused or angry situation but thanks to compassionate people it is now blanketed in good will and open mindedness.

7. They attract a lot of unconditional love, because they give so much of it.

Compassionate people are radiating with love and positive energy. They withhold it from absolutely no one. It’s no wonder that they attract so much genuine, honest, and trustworthy love.

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8. They forgive easily.

It’s hard to let go of things that bring you pain, people that frustrate you, or irritating situations that cause discomfort. It’s something that feels like a nagging itch that’s only a few inches out of reach, where it’s intensity increases as you try to ignore it. Compassionate people do not harbor many ill feelings towards others, and let go of negativity easily to make room for more love.

9. They do not enjoy confrontation, but refuse to run from it.

Confrontation is an unfortunate but completely unavoidable part of relationships. When compassionate people are faced with this difficulty they do not run from it or cower in fear. They stand tall, perk their ears up, and are ready to talk it out for the next umpteenth hours needed to reach resolution.

10. They can find something in common with everyone.

Compassion is synonymous with likable. If you put a compassionate person in a room with 25 people the don’t know, they will have no problem breaking the ice with someone nearby by asking them their favorite wintertime dessert, or perhaps their favorite childhood vacation spot. They have no problem finding friends in foreign environments.

11. They value people and experiences over money.

Everyone enjoys a blossoming bank account, but compassionate people consider experiences and good people more enriching than any material riches. They prefer the euphoria of walking away from a deep, and mentally thorough conversation opposed to punching the overtime clock.

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12. They are as kind to themselves as they are to others.

Giving true love to someone requires a somewhat thorough love of yourself. Please do not confuse this with arrogance or pompousness. Compassionate people know themselves extremely well to understand what makes them tick. From their most desirable idiosyncrasy to their best kept dark secret, compassionate people are very in tune with themselves.

13. They are mindful of everything in their life.

Compassionate people don’t waste time with destructive people, places, or situations. Everything they do is deliberate, growth minded, and mindful.

14. They fully understand that people have differences in opinion, and that they express those in different ways.

While compassionate people love to talk, listen, debate, and converse, they also completely understand that not everyone will share their sentiment, and that’s okay. They still hold the same yearning for people and their ideas even if they don’t see eye to eye. They are always respectful of others, even when they disagree with them.

15. They believe that knowledge is wasted if it’s not shared.

Compassionate people do not want to withhold information to gain the upper hand and appear more capable than someone else. Anything they learn they want to immediately share with the rest of the world, especially if the listener will find it valuable.

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16. They have great manners.

Compassionate people will hold the door for you, bless you after you sneeze, and go out of their way to say thank you if you did something thoughtful or nice. Basically, they’ll do almost any commonly overlooked polite action that facilitates happiness in others.

17. They bring out the best in others pretty much all of the time.

Compassionate people attract a lot of friends for a reason. Aside from the awesome characteristics explained above, they also find a way to make people happy, confident, and sure of themselves. Because of this they are always bringing out the best in nearly everyone they interact with.

18. They are serial “parent pleasers”.

Bring them home to mom and pop’s and be amazed at how well it goes. Feel free to test this theory and get back to me.

19. They are extremely in touch with their emotions.

Why do you suppose compassionate people are so successful with helping others through their troubles? By being precisely in tune and in focus with their inner emotions, they are able to provide sound advice and help to others while simultaneously maintaining a happy balance all their own.

20. They do what they love and don’t care who thinks badly of them for it.

And isn’t that the point of life?

Featured photo credit: angelo malig via flickr.com

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Last Updated on May 28, 2020

10 Success Principles for Living Your Dream Life

10 Success Principles for Living Your Dream Life

Are you stressed out and overwhelmed, wishing you had more time to do the things that really matter? Are you ready to do something better, something special in your life or your career?

You were born with a gift that no one else in the world can express like you. When you dance to your own music, you naturally develop your innate abilities and excel in work and life. You are a total rock star. But when you live someone else’s idea of who you should be, it throws off your groove.

Many people—maybe you—stopped following their dreams way too early in life because their talents were ignored, minimized, or shamed. They didn’t have the chops to win an American Idol competition or nab an Olympic gold medal, so they stopped expressing their inborn gifts altogether.

You don’t need to be an award winner to rock your life. Living your dream life is about discovering your superpowers and feeling vibrant and joyful when you use them. It’s about owning what makes you unique and finding like-minded people to support you.

Here are 10 success principles to help you live a rich and rewarding life on your terms that have worked with thousands of people in my workshops and will work for you, too.

1. Get a Hobby to Move Closer to Your Dreams

If you never became a professional dancer or a world-renowned author, it does NOT mean you should stop dancing or writing! These activities make you come alive, even if you “only” do them as favorite pastimes.

Engaging in a hobby is one of the most important success principles you can follow to move closer to your dreams.

When you try something creative for the first time or in a long while, you begin to see opportunities at work and in life that you were unaware of before. You also feel happier and more energized, according to a recent study from New Zealand.[1]

Some of my most burned-out executive clients reinvigorated their careers by discovering a creative outlet that refueled them after the workday ended. Research at San Francisco State University shows that having a hobby lowers stress and helps you succeed at work.[2]

So, give yourself permission to try new things and revisit old passions you gave up long ago. Setting aside just one hour a week for personal exploration can significantly change your life.

Who knows? Your creative outlet could transform into a thriving business or lead to a new profession down the road.

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2. Focus on Your Strengths, Not Your Weaknesses

Did you know that you are more likely to succeed when you develop your natural strengths rather than work on your weaknesses? The problem is that you probably don’t know where your true talents lie.

Here are a few options to help you discover your unique strengths. You can:

  • Take the VIA Character Strengths Survey[3]
  • Try Gallup’s CliftonStrengths Assessment[4]
  • Answer a few Superpower Questions

Once you understand what makes you tick, you can use these skills at work and your personal life to get more done in less time. If you boost your unique abilities through practice and study, you can accelerate your career and become a leader in a field that matters to you. It’s worth investing in yourself this way.

3. Jumping off a Cliff is NOT Required

Here’s the deal: most people are too afraid to change. When participants first come to my workshops, they tell me they have mouths to feed, bills to pay, and fear that if they follow their dreams, someone will get hurt.

The old saying “leap and the net shall appear” does not comfort them. Because they are hesitant to plunge into the unknown, they believe their only option is to stay put where they are in life. Can you relate?

You do not have to sacrifice the life you have now to start a new one. I was a psychology professor by day and singer by night for years before I transitioned into a full-time music career.

Just take a little time out each week to do what enlivens you through a hobby, volunteer work, etc. Get a feel for it.

Is it what you really want? If so, increase the time you spend doing it and make the transition when the time feels right.

4. Give Your Inner Critic Some Love

The main culprit that keeps you from stepping outside your comfort zone and getting the life of your dreams is KCRP or K-CRAP – the radio station that plays 24/7 in your head. The moment you try to do something interesting with your life it slaps you down with such chart-topping killer hooks as “Who do you think you are?” and “You’ll never be good enough!”.

Have you ever noticed that KCRP’s mean-spirited DJ sounds like your parents, teachers, bosses, and other authority figures who shut you down creatively? These folks don’t need to stifle you any longer (although they often still do) because your inner critic does it for them. That keeps you stuck in a rut.

To break free, try thinking of this DJ as a gruff old grandfather who gives you crap to keep you safe. Remember, this grumpy grandpa is woefully out of touch with the times. So, his stern opinions don’t really matter much, do they? Give him a pat on the back for his good intentions, and put your focus back on what makes you come alive.

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This success principle will give you the courage to venture into the unknown where you can dance to the beat of your own drummer.

5. Embrace Your Inner Weirdo

Many of us don’t go after our dreams because we’re afraid folks will find out how odd or strange we are. But our little eccentricities often turn out to be our greatest strengths. Yes, it’s good to be quirky.

Odds are, you lost track of your true passions and talents before you were even old enough to know you were getting off-track. You became slowly “adulterated” by learning to:

  • Take on family roles that don’t match who you really are.
  • Spit back what teachers taught you in school rather than risk getting bad grades for being original.
  • Hide parts of yourself that don’t seem acceptable to certain social groups.

The price for fitting in is that you may wind up leading a life that doesn’t fit you all that well. Your true calling becomes clear when you embrace what makes you different from others and allow yourself to stand out from the crowd, even if it feels awkward.

Often, the very qualities you view as your flaws are your greatest gifts.

6. See the Bigger Picture to Find Your True Calling

I cannot stress the importance of this success principle enough. Your true calling is right in front of you. But you may miss it because you’re looking for it in the wrong place.

To “see” it clearly, try widening your point of view.

Case in point: Maria felt she needed to retire early from being a police detective, so she could travel abroad. I encouraged Maria to think of ways that she could continue to serve as a law enforcer (a career she loved) and travel overseas at the same time.

A few months later, Maria landed a job with the United Nations in Bosnia training the local police force to understand and embrace human rights procedures.

Like Maria, you are an everyday rock star capable of accomplishing greater things than you can imagine. Is what you’re looking for right in front of you, too? Do you have an inkling of what it may be?

Look beyond your day-to-day activities, your current job, and even the town you live in. View your life from an eagle’s perspective and be open to new possibilities.

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7. Try a Little Wish-List Magic

Pretend I’m your fairy godmother and I give you permission right now to be your most magnificent self. What kind of life would be music to your ears? It doesn’t matter whether it seems unattainable or even downright crazy. Write it down on a wish list.

Get quiet. Be honest. Think big.

What would you like your career, your relationships, your health, your finances, and your spiritual life to be like? Jot down enough details so that your wishes seem tangible to you. Then, look at this list every morning before you start your day and every night before you go to sleep.

Sounds silly? It’s not. It works! Permitting yourself to daydream about a rich and fulfilling life is the first step to manifesting it.

8. Take Breaks to Get Clues About Your Ideal Future

Did you know that working straight through to a deadline leads to diminishing returns? Research shows that taking a break for 15 minutes every 75 to 90 minutes can help you recharge, refresh your focus, and get more done in less time.[5]

Wait, it gets better! A Stanford study shows that walking increases your creative output increases by 60 percent. Doing repetitive activities such as walking, running, riding your bike, swimming, and sweeping allow solutions to problems to pop into your mind out of nowhere.[6]

What does this success principle have to do with creating your dream life?

These mini-breaks allow you to get vital clues for what to do next to attain your ideal future. Plus, you won’t waste precious time and energy getting lost in other people’s agendas.

9. Take Action on Your Inspired Ideas

Once an inspired thought pops into your mind, take action.

This is one of the most powerful success principles for turning your dreams into reality; the sooner the better. Whatever it is—from calling an old friend to taking a new route home—be sure to do it!

Pay attention to your oddball hunches. You need to go after what you want, not just dream about it. As comedian Jim Carrey warns,

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“You can’t just visualize and go eat a sandwich.”

10. Count Your Rockstar Moments

Still not sure you have what it takes to get your dream life? This final success principle is guaranteed to help.

Make a list of everything you’ve ever accomplished. As you read back through it, put a star next to each item, and let it sink in.

You’ll be pleasantly surprised by how good you’ll feel about yourself afterward. You’ll also see how effective you’ve been in the past at getting what you want. You’ve succeeded before, you can succeed again.

You already rock. You just need to own it. Trust me, you’ve got this!

Final Thoughts

Eleanor Roosevelt said,

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

Following these success principles will help you find the time and energy to do the things that really matter and live with clear intention.

By spending just one hour a week doing something you love, focusing on your strengths and achievements, embracing what makes you different, and acting on inspired ideas, you can create a life that is a perfect fit for you, step-by-step.

If you don’t have a clue about what your dream life could look like yet, don’t worry. Your heart knows. It has been “talking” to you for a long time. It’s just being muffled by KCRP, buried under a lot of “shoulds” and fear.

This article can also help you figure out the life you truly want to live: How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up.

Stand still, get quiet, and listen. It’s constantly telling you what you need to do to realize your own rockstar potential. It may be just a whisper now, but the more you pay attention to it, the louder it will get, and the easier it will be to follow.

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Featured photo credit: Rahul Dey via unsplash.com

Reference

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