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Only Compassionate People Would Do These 20 Things

Only Compassionate People Would Do These 20 Things

Though a lot of people enjoy being treated well by a compassionate person, not many appreciate them as much as they deserve. Compassion is not only a characteristic it’s a complete lifestyle. Here are ten things only compassionate people do.

1. They put other people’s needs above theirs.

Even if they don’t intentionally do this, compassionate people are always worry about the ones they love more than themselves. When someone tells a compassionate person about a problem or a struggle they always want to take the burden from them.

2. They always listen first, speak second.

A lot of us get into hot water by speaking before we think things through. Compassionate people do not have this difficulty, as they are always hyper aware of how they sound, the message they convey, and the true impact their words will cause. They are not quick to make sure their voice is heard, but rather that everyone else is heard before them.

3. They volunteer for the least favorable task if it helps others.

Taking the second cab home when waiting outside a cold bar late at night. Paying full price when you’re the ninth person of the group on a “two for one night.” Putting your highly anticipated night in by yourself on hold for a friend who just had a bad breakup. Compassionate people always volunteer to help other people in tough situations even if it means being uncomfortable.

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4. They approach other people’s problems as their own, and make for great listeners.

Compassionate people are particularly gifted, and also cursed, at helping other people with their problems. If it means lending a listening ear, driving across town at 3am with a pint of “cheer-me-up-Ben & Jerry’s”, or brainstorming fictitious ways for you friend to get back at her ex, compassionate people will always treat your problems as theirs. They are particularly good at this because to their ability to act on and vocalize their empathy. They also recognize when other people are in trouble or feeling pain without being told.

5. They never leave your side, and always have your back.

It doesn’t matter who or what you’re up against, a compassionate person will never abandon the people they care about. For this reason alone, compassionate people make elite friends because of their dedication to a person regardless of the situation.

6. They think with their brain, not their emotions.

This is easier said than done, but compassionate people have mastered it. In times of high stress or tension, compassionate people are able to assess the situation rationally to obtain the most ideal way to respond and react. A conflict usually results in a completely diffused or angry situation but thanks to compassionate people it is now blanketed in good will and open mindedness.

7. They attract a lot of unconditional love, because they give so much of it.

Compassionate people are radiating with love and positive energy. They withhold it from absolutely no one. It’s no wonder that they attract so much genuine, honest, and trustworthy love.

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8. They forgive easily.

It’s hard to let go of things that bring you pain, people that frustrate you, or irritating situations that cause discomfort. It’s something that feels like a nagging itch that’s only a few inches out of reach, where it’s intensity increases as you try to ignore it. Compassionate people do not harbor many ill feelings towards others, and let go of negativity easily to make room for more love.

9. They do not enjoy confrontation, but refuse to run from it.

Confrontation is an unfortunate but completely unavoidable part of relationships. When compassionate people are faced with this difficulty they do not run from it or cower in fear. They stand tall, perk their ears up, and are ready to talk it out for the next umpteenth hours needed to reach resolution.

10. They can find something in common with everyone.

Compassion is synonymous with likable. If you put a compassionate person in a room with 25 people the don’t know, they will have no problem breaking the ice with someone nearby by asking them their favorite wintertime dessert, or perhaps their favorite childhood vacation spot. They have no problem finding friends in foreign environments.

11. They value people and experiences over money.

Everyone enjoys a blossoming bank account, but compassionate people consider experiences and good people more enriching than any material riches. They prefer the euphoria of walking away from a deep, and mentally thorough conversation opposed to punching the overtime clock.

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12. They are as kind to themselves as they are to others.

Giving true love to someone requires a somewhat thorough love of yourself. Please do not confuse this with arrogance or pompousness. Compassionate people know themselves extremely well to understand what makes them tick. From their most desirable idiosyncrasy to their best kept dark secret, compassionate people are very in tune with themselves.

13. They are mindful of everything in their life.

Compassionate people don’t waste time with destructive people, places, or situations. Everything they do is deliberate, growth minded, and mindful.

14. They fully understand that people have differences in opinion, and that they express those in different ways.

While compassionate people love to talk, listen, debate, and converse, they also completely understand that not everyone will share their sentiment, and that’s okay. They still hold the same yearning for people and their ideas even if they don’t see eye to eye. They are always respectful of others, even when they disagree with them.

15. They believe that knowledge is wasted if it’s not shared.

Compassionate people do not want to withhold information to gain the upper hand and appear more capable than someone else. Anything they learn they want to immediately share with the rest of the world, especially if the listener will find it valuable.

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16. They have great manners.

Compassionate people will hold the door for you, bless you after you sneeze, and go out of their way to say thank you if you did something thoughtful or nice. Basically, they’ll do almost any commonly overlooked polite action that facilitates happiness in others.

17. They bring out the best in others pretty much all of the time.

Compassionate people attract a lot of friends for a reason. Aside from the awesome characteristics explained above, they also find a way to make people happy, confident, and sure of themselves. Because of this they are always bringing out the best in nearly everyone they interact with.

18. They are serial “parent pleasers”.

Bring them home to mom and pop’s and be amazed at how well it goes. Feel free to test this theory and get back to me.

19. They are extremely in touch with their emotions.

Why do you suppose compassionate people are so successful with helping others through their troubles? By being precisely in tune and in focus with their inner emotions, they are able to provide sound advice and help to others while simultaneously maintaining a happy balance all their own.

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20. They do what they love and don’t care who thinks badly of them for it.

And isn’t that the point of life?

Featured photo credit: angelo malig via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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