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Only Compassionate People Would Do These 20 Things

Only Compassionate People Would Do These 20 Things

Though a lot of people enjoy being treated well by a compassionate person, not many appreciate them as much as they deserve. Compassion is not only a characteristic it’s a complete lifestyle. Here are ten things only compassionate people do.

1. They put other people’s needs above theirs.

Even if they don’t intentionally do this, compassionate people are always worry about the ones they love more than themselves. When someone tells a compassionate person about a problem or a struggle they always want to take the burden from them.

2. They always listen first, speak second.

A lot of us get into hot water by speaking before we think things through. Compassionate people do not have this difficulty, as they are always hyper aware of how they sound, the message they convey, and the true impact their words will cause. They are not quick to make sure their voice is heard, but rather that everyone else is heard before them.

3. They volunteer for the least favorable task if it helps others.

Taking the second cab home when waiting outside a cold bar late at night. Paying full price when you’re the ninth person of the group on a “two for one night.” Putting your highly anticipated night in by yourself on hold for a friend who just had a bad breakup. Compassionate people always volunteer to help other people in tough situations even if it means being uncomfortable.

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4. They approach other people’s problems as their own, and make for great listeners.

Compassionate people are particularly gifted, and also cursed, at helping other people with their problems. If it means lending a listening ear, driving across town at 3am with a pint of “cheer-me-up-Ben & Jerry’s”, or brainstorming fictitious ways for you friend to get back at her ex, compassionate people will always treat your problems as theirs. They are particularly good at this because to their ability to act on and vocalize their empathy. They also recognize when other people are in trouble or feeling pain without being told.

5. They never leave your side, and always have your back.

It doesn’t matter who or what you’re up against, a compassionate person will never abandon the people they care about. For this reason alone, compassionate people make elite friends because of their dedication to a person regardless of the situation.

6. They think with their brain, not their emotions.

This is easier said than done, but compassionate people have mastered it. In times of high stress or tension, compassionate people are able to assess the situation rationally to obtain the most ideal way to respond and react. A conflict usually results in a completely diffused or angry situation but thanks to compassionate people it is now blanketed in good will and open mindedness.

7. They attract a lot of unconditional love, because they give so much of it.

Compassionate people are radiating with love and positive energy. They withhold it from absolutely no one. It’s no wonder that they attract so much genuine, honest, and trustworthy love.

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8. They forgive easily.

It’s hard to let go of things that bring you pain, people that frustrate you, or irritating situations that cause discomfort. It’s something that feels like a nagging itch that’s only a few inches out of reach, where it’s intensity increases as you try to ignore it. Compassionate people do not harbor many ill feelings towards others, and let go of negativity easily to make room for more love.

9. They do not enjoy confrontation, but refuse to run from it.

Confrontation is an unfortunate but completely unavoidable part of relationships. When compassionate people are faced with this difficulty they do not run from it or cower in fear. They stand tall, perk their ears up, and are ready to talk it out for the next umpteenth hours needed to reach resolution.

10. They can find something in common with everyone.

Compassion is synonymous with likable. If you put a compassionate person in a room with 25 people the don’t know, they will have no problem breaking the ice with someone nearby by asking them their favorite wintertime dessert, or perhaps their favorite childhood vacation spot. They have no problem finding friends in foreign environments.

11. They value people and experiences over money.

Everyone enjoys a blossoming bank account, but compassionate people consider experiences and good people more enriching than any material riches. They prefer the euphoria of walking away from a deep, and mentally thorough conversation opposed to punching the overtime clock.

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12. They are as kind to themselves as they are to others.

Giving true love to someone requires a somewhat thorough love of yourself. Please do not confuse this with arrogance or pompousness. Compassionate people know themselves extremely well to understand what makes them tick. From their most desirable idiosyncrasy to their best kept dark secret, compassionate people are very in tune with themselves.

13. They are mindful of everything in their life.

Compassionate people don’t waste time with destructive people, places, or situations. Everything they do is deliberate, growth minded, and mindful.

14. They fully understand that people have differences in opinion, and that they express those in different ways.

While compassionate people love to talk, listen, debate, and converse, they also completely understand that not everyone will share their sentiment, and that’s okay. They still hold the same yearning for people and their ideas even if they don’t see eye to eye. They are always respectful of others, even when they disagree with them.

15. They believe that knowledge is wasted if it’s not shared.

Compassionate people do not want to withhold information to gain the upper hand and appear more capable than someone else. Anything they learn they want to immediately share with the rest of the world, especially if the listener will find it valuable.

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16. They have great manners.

Compassionate people will hold the door for you, bless you after you sneeze, and go out of their way to say thank you if you did something thoughtful or nice. Basically, they’ll do almost any commonly overlooked polite action that facilitates happiness in others.

17. They bring out the best in others pretty much all of the time.

Compassionate people attract a lot of friends for a reason. Aside from the awesome characteristics explained above, they also find a way to make people happy, confident, and sure of themselves. Because of this they are always bringing out the best in nearly everyone they interact with.

18. They are serial “parent pleasers”.

Bring them home to mom and pop’s and be amazed at how well it goes. Feel free to test this theory and get back to me.

19. They are extremely in touch with their emotions.

Why do you suppose compassionate people are so successful with helping others through their troubles? By being precisely in tune and in focus with their inner emotions, they are able to provide sound advice and help to others while simultaneously maintaining a happy balance all their own.

20. They do what they love and don’t care who thinks badly of them for it.

And isn’t that the point of life?

Featured photo credit: angelo malig via flickr.com

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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