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Notes From A Failure: 5 Unusual Ways To Handle Failure

Notes From A Failure: 5 Unusual Ways To Handle Failure

Failure is a part of life. It happens to all of us and we should accept that. Too many people are scared of it. They would rather get a harsh kick to the scrotum than step out into the open where the embarrassment of failing would be seen by the judgmental world. And the people in that world are only happy you failed because they can feel better about never trying.

Folks, I’m a failure. I have been my whole life, and it shows. I have been down to my last $20.65. I have lost $3000 with a single, drunken click. I have crashed cars, been fired, been the reason my team lost, been so depressed I couldn’t move, liked the girl but could not open my mouth, and so much more.

Failing sucks. There’s no way to add soft, fluffy feathers to it. It sucks and you never want it to happen. But it does and it will. So when failure happens, use these 5 unusual ways to deal with the situation.

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1. Get Back Up…With Caution

There’s that old Chinese Proverb about being knocked down seven times but standing back up eight. I like agreeing with it, it makes me sound persistent and tough. But it’s also stupid. If a bear knocked you down, started walking away, and you stood back up, he would come back and kill you. If you stayed down maybe you would be lucky enough to be left alone. I don’t know, I’ve never been attacked by a bear, but I assume you are supposed to play dead for a reason.

I have seen people lose their family, home, friends, everything; all because they wouldn’t admit their business was dead. So they went bankrupt and ended up in a small empty apartment, alone. You can keep getting up if you want, but make sure the fight will be worth it.

2. Unleash All Of Your Hate Immediately

When I was a teenager I used to get so mad I’d punch a cement wall until blood smeared across the blue paint. It hurt but I felt better. I don’t recommend that, though. I still get mad when bad things happen, but I don’t beat up walls anymore. I write instead. And it helps just as much, plus it’s far less intense and personally abusive, so bonus. Writing about my failures helps me get over them, even laugh at them a little. Laughing is good. And if you can eventually laugh at your mistakes and failures, then you are on an amazing path to recovery.

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3. Watch Your Favorite Comedian

I recently discovered the comedian Stewart Lee and I love his comedy. But I also love old performers like the George Burns and Gracie Allen Show. The point is, whatever makes me laugh I watch when I feel worse than everybody who invested with Bernie Madoff and found themselves caught up in a fraud. It helps. It doesn’t cure, but who cares? Giving your brain a rest from obsessing about failing is healthy. Be healthy, laugh as much as you can. It will increase your oxytocin and you’ll feel a lot better.

4. Drink Coffee In A Crowded Area

Drink coffee, or don’t drink coffee. Drink milk mixed with orange juice for all it matters. Just surround yourself with a bustling crowd. Maybe kids will be laughing and screaming through a water fountain. Maybe the cute girl at the coffee shop will have a laughing seizure from your joke and you’ll feel better. Maybe someone will smile at you as they walk by. I don’t know, lots of things happen in crowded spots.

Sit back and watch. Enjoy the scene. Enjoy the coffee. All the noise and people will get your brain working. Come up with new ideas. How can you make a comeback? What went wrong and how could you have done better? What can you do to get started on building some new momentum?

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Or just sit and enjoy the energy around you. You can think about your next move later.

5. People Don’t Care So You Shouldn’t Either

Other than your significant other, who actually cares about your failures? Yes, they will be supportive but they have their own problems and failures to worry about. They can give you some advice and maybe even a little help, but it all comes down to you getting over the failure yourself. Don’t assume people will stop their lives to help you back on your feet. It all comes down to you, so you need to start the process of figuring it out.

I used to get enraged at people for not caring more about my problems. If I was the most important person in my world, I should be the most important person in everyone’s world. I’d just get depressed and helpless and eat a lot of macaroni mixed with tuna and mushroom soup. Oh, and you can’t forget the gallons of rye and ginger ale. Caring about what others thought, or didn’t think of me, kept me down and kept me drinking.

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It took a lot of time but I don’t care as much anymore. It’s my life, my failures, my story, my ability to succeed. So go after success – whatever that means to you – and enjoy your life as much as you can. If you fail – and you will – it’s okay. It’s all part of the game. Enjoy the game.

Featured photo credit:  isan via Compfight via flickr.com

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Daniel CJ Grant

Daniel is the author of "Notes from a Failure". He writes about failure and success.

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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