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Notes From A Failure: 5 Unusual Ways To Handle Failure

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Notes From A Failure: 5 Unusual Ways To Handle Failure

Failure is a part of life. It happens to all of us and we should accept that. Too many people are scared of it. They would rather get a harsh kick to the scrotum than step out into the open where the embarrassment of failing would be seen by the judgmental world. And the people in that world are only happy you failed because they can feel better about never trying.

Folks, I’m a failure. I have been my whole life, and it shows. I have been down to my last $20.65. I have lost $3000 with a single, drunken click. I have crashed cars, been fired, been the reason my team lost, been so depressed I couldn’t move, liked the girl but could not open my mouth, and so much more.

Failing sucks. There’s no way to add soft, fluffy feathers to it. It sucks and you never want it to happen. But it does and it will. So when failure happens, use these 5 unusual ways to deal with the situation.

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1. Get Back Up…With Caution

There’s that old Chinese Proverb about being knocked down seven times but standing back up eight. I like agreeing with it, it makes me sound persistent and tough. But it’s also stupid. If a bear knocked you down, started walking away, and you stood back up, he would come back and kill you. If you stayed down maybe you would be lucky enough to be left alone. I don’t know, I’ve never been attacked by a bear, but I assume you are supposed to play dead for a reason.

I have seen people lose their family, home, friends, everything; all because they wouldn’t admit their business was dead. So they went bankrupt and ended up in a small empty apartment, alone. You can keep getting up if you want, but make sure the fight will be worth it.

2. Unleash All Of Your Hate Immediately

When I was a teenager I used to get so mad I’d punch a cement wall until blood smeared across the blue paint. It hurt but I felt better. I don’t recommend that, though. I still get mad when bad things happen, but I don’t beat up walls anymore. I write instead. And it helps just as much, plus it’s far less intense and personally abusive, so bonus. Writing about my failures helps me get over them, even laugh at them a little. Laughing is good. And if you can eventually laugh at your mistakes and failures, then you are on an amazing path to recovery.

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3. Watch Your Favorite Comedian

I recently discovered the comedian Stewart Lee and I love his comedy. But I also love old performers like the George Burns and Gracie Allen Show. The point is, whatever makes me laugh I watch when I feel worse than everybody who invested with Bernie Madoff and found themselves caught up in a fraud. It helps. It doesn’t cure, but who cares? Giving your brain a rest from obsessing about failing is healthy. Be healthy, laugh as much as you can. It will increase your oxytocin and you’ll feel a lot better.

4. Drink Coffee In A Crowded Area

Drink coffee, or don’t drink coffee. Drink milk mixed with orange juice for all it matters. Just surround yourself with a bustling crowd. Maybe kids will be laughing and screaming through a water fountain. Maybe the cute girl at the coffee shop will have a laughing seizure from your joke and you’ll feel better. Maybe someone will smile at you as they walk by. I don’t know, lots of things happen in crowded spots.

Sit back and watch. Enjoy the scene. Enjoy the coffee. All the noise and people will get your brain working. Come up with new ideas. How can you make a comeback? What went wrong and how could you have done better? What can you do to get started on building some new momentum?

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Or just sit and enjoy the energy around you. You can think about your next move later.

5. People Don’t Care So You Shouldn’t Either

Other than your significant other, who actually cares about your failures? Yes, they will be supportive but they have their own problems and failures to worry about. They can give you some advice and maybe even a little help, but it all comes down to you getting over the failure yourself. Don’t assume people will stop their lives to help you back on your feet. It all comes down to you, so you need to start the process of figuring it out.

I used to get enraged at people for not caring more about my problems. If I was the most important person in my world, I should be the most important person in everyone’s world. I’d just get depressed and helpless and eat a lot of macaroni mixed with tuna and mushroom soup. Oh, and you can’t forget the gallons of rye and ginger ale. Caring about what others thought, or didn’t think of me, kept me down and kept me drinking.

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It took a lot of time but I don’t care as much anymore. It’s my life, my failures, my story, my ability to succeed. So go after success – whatever that means to you – and enjoy your life as much as you can. If you fail – and you will – it’s okay. It’s all part of the game. Enjoy the game.

Featured photo credit:  isan via Compfight via flickr.com

More by this author

Daniel CJ Grant

Daniel is the author of "Notes from a Failure". He writes about failure and success.

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