Luck marches with those who give it their very best – – H. Jackson Brown Jr.
What is luck? We know it is good and some people are blessed with it but the big question is how do we get more of it?
First of all, let’s find out exactly what luck is.
According to the dictionary, luck is “success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one’s own actions.”
While this is a good definition, there do seem to be people who are more prone to “lucky breaks” than others.
You have probably heard on occasion that you make your own luck. This is true and I can show you how to make more of it for yourself.
Luck can appear to be magical and there are some seemingly magic elements involved. However, if you really understand how life works, you can easily see how to make your life luckier.
First you have to understand what each of us as individuals are trying to do in life. We are trying to survive and to help others to survive better. We are connected as families, towns, countries, races and ultimately as the human race. What affects one of us affects the rest of us whether we know it or admit it or not.
When you look at luck, you cannot just look at luck for yourself but luck as it affects everyone involved in any given situation.
A thief who finds someone’s door unlocked may feel lucky, but the loss of property for the one being robbed and the subsequent self degradation of the thief makes us realize that his discovery of the open door was in fact, extremely unlucky.
When one commits harmful or criminal acts, he also creates his own bad luck. Call it Karma or give it another name. It doesn’t really matter, it is a fact of this universe.Advertising
This brings me to my first point that must be observed when making your own luck
1. Observe the Golden Rule.
You remember this one: “Do unto others as you would have done unto you”
In a nutshell, don’t do anything to someone else that you would not want someone else to do to you. This is a simple and effective rule of thumb in life. It is easy to remember and it is the first step on the road to luck.
The bottom line is that you allow yourself luck or deny yourself luck. If you have degraded yourself by being a person who is unworthy of trust, you wil not allow yourself luck. Take this one step in life and see how that affects your luck factor.
2. Be the Rising Tide.
This takes step 1 a bit farther.
Whenever I undertake an action that not only benefits me, but benefits others as well, I pull in TONS of luck! There is a saying that I live by and it is :”A Rising Tide Lifts All Boats”.
And this is true. As a species, we inherently try to help each other. We realize that there is an interdependence, one upon another, that must be cherished and nurtured for us to be successful. Being the Rising Tide provides nourishment to our native spiritual desires.
3. Really decide what you want to do.
Nothing can get you to your goal if you have not clearly outlined that goal and made the decision that you are going to reach it NO MATTER WHAT. That “No Matter What” part is the most important thing. If you have that mindset, you will succeed.
Anyone can make a vague decision about something, but if you change course every time something throws you off, you will never be “lucky” enough to get what you want. Those who get what they want, never stop going after it.
4. Purge negative people from your life.
Speaking of being thrown off, nothing throws you off more than other peoples’ negativity. No matter what worthy goal you choose for yourself, there is guaranteed to be someone who disapproves, doesn’t like it, and thinks you should do something else or better yet, do nothing at all.
You cannot and should not have as a goal, “to make everyone happy”. There are people who use their unhappiness to manipulate others. Those who feel that they must make everyone happy are slaves to such people.Advertising
People who make their own luck have decided to be masters of their own souls. Ignore negative comments, better yet, severely limit your contact with such people. They are too much work to deal with and you have better things to do with your time than try to reason with nasty, negative, naysayers.
5. Outline the steps to take to achieve your goal.
Every goal you can ever think of has a series of exact steps that will get you there. The tricky part is finding out what these steps are. How do you know what are necessary steps, what are desirable steps, and what are time wasters?
Here is a tip: Find someone who is successful at what you want to do and find out what he/she did to get there. Then create your own set of steps that mirror theirs.
If you are doing something totally new, find someone who has done something close to what you want to do. Hang out with those who have successfully achieved their goals and learn from them.
6. Don’t shy away from education.
Every goal you make comes with some training requirement. Luck comes from being prepared when opportunity knocks. Hanging out with successful people in your field will give you an idea of what you need to study.
If you purchase a how-to course, buy it from someone who is wildly successful in doing what they are going to be teaching you and not from someone who is simply good at marketing a course.
7. Make the Devil look like a slacker
You have heard that phrase, “Work like the Devil”. Don’t work like the Devil! Work harder! Work Smarter! Get more done in a day than anyone you know and make your actions count!
I love those talent shows on TV. They try to make you think that these humble people one day woke up and decided to sing opera. They stumble into the auditorium, try out for this competition and blow everyone away.
This is not how it works. Talent is not a God given gift, it is a hard won skill. Talent is nothing more than the burning desire to do something until it is perfect and to never give up.
While it is true that some of the most amazing artists and businessmen believe that they are nothing special, they have developed a work ethic that makes the Devil look like a gold bricking, good-for-nothing, goof-off.
It is work to achieve a goal. Lots and lots of work.Advertising
8. Do what you love.
How can you force yourself to work if you hate your job? You cannot do it for any sustained period. You may be able to force interest for awhile but ultimately you will quit in disgust.
On the other hand, if you are doing something that you love, something that you would do whether or not you were paid for it, you will succeed.
Lucky people who manage to work hard are generally doing something that they feel is worthwhile. They have a burning desire and nothing can stop them.
what you love and find out how to turn it into a career.
9. Stop the negative thoughts.
We all have them. We pour our hearts and souls into an activity and then some set back occurs. We stop for a moment and start to think that we should have listened to Uncle Joe when he told us we were completely insane to have started out on this ridiculous path.
Well, Uncle Joe is still full of it. Just because you had a set back does not mean he was right, ever!
Everyone has set backs. When those negative, naggy thoughts pop up, tell them to take a hike and figure out how to correct the set back. Then move forward again on your path.
10. Create positive thoughts.
Positive thoughts do not just happen. They need to be created and created often and with great clarity.
Let’s use the example of a new car. If you want a new car you usually can picture that car in your mind. It has to be a certain make and model, a certain color and have all the features you want. You even know what it will smell like.You have a very clear picture of exactly what you are looking for.
Create a positive a picture of your goal and the steps it takes to get you there.
Vagueness breeds confusion via uncertainty. Get certain about what you want and how you are going to get it.Advertising
11. Repeat after me “I get EVERYTHING I want!”
Repeat this often and believe it. I have taken this on as my mantra and it works! There is no reason you shouldn’t get everything you want.
12. Stop believing that there is something wrong or evil about having everything.
Life is a game and the things in life that make us happy are the rewards of playing well. I have no clue why some people think and say that people who are successful are evil, greedy thieves who have made their riches off the backs of someone else. Aside from some politicians, I don’t know anyone who is successful that hasn’t worked his or her butt off to get there.
If you get educated, work for the good of mankind, and work hard, you deserve everything in life.
Also know that you having everything does not stop anyone else from having everything. Life is not a zero sum game. Everything in it has to be created but there is no limit to the amount of creation. And you deserve the fruits of your creations.
13. Focus on what is important in life.
I think many of us have reached a point in our culture and education, where we see that money is not the ultimate reward of the game of life. Money is simply a symbol for the amount of work someone has done. Each dollar bill stands for a certain amount of work of some kind. That is all it is.
Money is not love, family, community, help or any of the things that make life worth while. If you think that it is, take a dollar bill out of your pocket and let it make you happy. I guess you could make a paper airplane out of it but after that, the bill is pretty much a spent force as far as entertainment and quality of life are concerned.
Now go find a friend or loved family member, or your dog. Which one makes you happier?
14. Count your blessings
And when I say “blessings” I mean the rewards in life that you have made come true. Sometimes we focus so much on the future goal that we forget what we have accomplished.
Every so often, go back and look at all you have done for yourself, your family, your community and mankind. You will be surprised how much you have gotten done.
15. Give yourself the love that you would reserve for the person you most love in your life.
Then crank it up a notch. Love is what makes your life worthwhile. Your idea of your own self worth is what makes you lucky. The amount of love you have for yourself is the amount of love you can give others. Our love for each other is what drives us in life. Look in the mirror and find some things to like about yourself. Do this A LOT!
Then start finding things you like about others as a daily exercise. Your luck will improve.
Last Updated on January 16, 2020
12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now
The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.
However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.
“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous
Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.
1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.
When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.
Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success. As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’
2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).
That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”
Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.
3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.
If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.
For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.
People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.
This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.
4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.
Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.
Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!
Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.
Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
5. Crack a smile.
If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.
Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?
6. Break a sweat—with exercise.
Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.
And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.
7. Groom yourself.
This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.
A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.
8. Dress nicely.
Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.
While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.
9. Do activities you enjoy.
Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.
You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.
10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.
Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.
Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.
Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.
Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.
11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.
Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?
Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.
12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!
Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.
The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.
Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com
|||^||Psychology Today: Seeing Is Believing: The Power of Visualization|
|||^||Association of Psychological Science: Grin and Bear It! Smiling Facilitates Stress Recovery|
|||^||Science Daily: Want a better work-life balance? Exercise, study finds|
|||^||The New York Times: The Right Stance Can Be Reassuring|