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Love Your Enemies: 7 Practical Tips To Turn An Enemy Into a Friend

Love Your Enemies: 7 Practical Tips To Turn An Enemy Into a Friend

It is almost universally agreed that one of the greatest and most challenging ethical commands is this: to love your enemies. Many people dismiss this command because they find it impractical, difficult, or downright impossible to follow. One way to apply this law is by learning how to turn an enemy into a friend. Here are seven practical tips:

1. Sincerely apologize

Have you ever heard an apology that went something like this: “I am sorry if I offended you”, or “I am sorry but…”. This type of apology will not work if you want to make an enemy your friend. You must apologize sincerely for your part of the dispute, even if you feel like you are not at fault. You must take full responsibility for it. You must say “I am sorry.”

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2. Forgive the person

Let them know that you forgive them for hurting you. Forgive them truly in your heart. They may remain hostile for a while. But, if you persevere and maintain an attitude of forgiveness toward them, they will eventually respond to your desire for reconciliation and peace.

3. Focus on their good qualities

This might be hard to believe but it is possible to find good qualities in almost anyone. When we have quarrels and disputes with people, it is very easy to fixate on the negative aspects of the person that are causing you to react. This prevents us from seeing what’s good about them. Do you best to step outside of this framework and you will be able to see their good qualities again. Make this your focus. Offer them sincere praise for the qualities you see.

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4. Speak well of them resist the urge to gossip

This is a crucial step. Gossiping about others, especially about our enemies, come so easily to us that it takes a superhuman effort to resist. In order to make this person your friend you must. When speaking about your enemy to others, speak well of them. What you say about others behind their backs will eventually get to them. When you respect them in this way, they will want to return the favor.

5. Discover what you share in common

Whether it be a love for a sport or a similar hobby, exploiting shared interests is a great way to connect with your would-be friend. Get them to talk about themselves and their interests. Invite them to a game. Try to get them to engage in a hobby with you.

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6. Offer help if they are clearly in some need

This is also an important step. Again, we often ignore the ways our enemies struggle. By opening your eyes and seeing life from their point of view, you will discover opportunities to meet some need they might have. For instance, someone may have just lost a close family friend. Taking the time out to express sympathy or to send a card can go a long way to making a friend out of an enemy.

7. Love the person

Yes, we have come to the hardest step. We think it’s impossible to love our enemies because we misunderstand the nature of love. It is not a thing that flow effortlessly, without requiring pain and sacrifice. This kind of love is shallow and fleeting. If it does not grow into something deeper, it is not true love. True love is a conscious decision and often requires focus and effort. Decide in your heart to love the person you now consider your enemy. Decide daily to treat them with compassion.

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Loving your enemy creates the possibility of friendship. Love is life-giving, even in harsh soil. Plant your seeds of love today and watch them grow into something beautiful.

Featured photo credit: Bergadder via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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