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Love Your Enemies: 7 Practical Tips To Turn An Enemy Into a Friend

Love Your Enemies: 7 Practical Tips To Turn An Enemy Into a Friend

It is almost universally agreed that one of the greatest and most challenging ethical commands is this: to love your enemies. Many people dismiss this command because they find it impractical, difficult, or downright impossible to follow. One way to apply this law is by learning how to turn an enemy into a friend. Here are seven practical tips:

1. Sincerely apologize

Have you ever heard an apology that went something like this: “I am sorry if I offended you”, or “I am sorry but…”. This type of apology will not work if you want to make an enemy your friend. You must apologize sincerely for your part of the dispute, even if you feel like you are not at fault. You must take full responsibility for it. You must say “I am sorry.”

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2. Forgive the person

Let them know that you forgive them for hurting you. Forgive them truly in your heart. They may remain hostile for a while. But, if you persevere and maintain an attitude of forgiveness toward them, they will eventually respond to your desire for reconciliation and peace.

3. Focus on their good qualities

This might be hard to believe but it is possible to find good qualities in almost anyone. When we have quarrels and disputes with people, it is very easy to fixate on the negative aspects of the person that are causing you to react. This prevents us from seeing what’s good about them. Do you best to step outside of this framework and you will be able to see their good qualities again. Make this your focus. Offer them sincere praise for the qualities you see.

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4. Speak well of them resist the urge to gossip

This is a crucial step. Gossiping about others, especially about our enemies, come so easily to us that it takes a superhuman effort to resist. In order to make this person your friend you must. When speaking about your enemy to others, speak well of them. What you say about others behind their backs will eventually get to them. When you respect them in this way, they will want to return the favor.

5. Discover what you share in common

Whether it be a love for a sport or a similar hobby, exploiting shared interests is a great way to connect with your would-be friend. Get them to talk about themselves and their interests. Invite them to a game. Try to get them to engage in a hobby with you.

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6. Offer help if they are clearly in some need

This is also an important step. Again, we often ignore the ways our enemies struggle. By opening your eyes and seeing life from their point of view, you will discover opportunities to meet some need they might have. For instance, someone may have just lost a close family friend. Taking the time out to express sympathy or to send a card can go a long way to making a friend out of an enemy.

7. Love the person

Yes, we have come to the hardest step. We think it’s impossible to love our enemies because we misunderstand the nature of love. It is not a thing that flow effortlessly, without requiring pain and sacrifice. This kind of love is shallow and fleeting. If it does not grow into something deeper, it is not true love. True love is a conscious decision and often requires focus and effort. Decide in your heart to love the person you now consider your enemy. Decide daily to treat them with compassion.

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Loving your enemy creates the possibility of friendship. Love is life-giving, even in harsh soil. Plant your seeds of love today and watch them grow into something beautiful.

Featured photo credit: Bergadder via pixabay.com

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Cylon George

A spiritual chaplain and blogger who writes about practical spiritual tips for busy people.

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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