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Life Is About Leaving The Comfort Zone And A Little More

Life Is About Leaving The Comfort Zone And A Little More

We all do it. We get comfortable, we settle in, we buckle up, we play it safe. In habitual, neurological fashion, our brain processes this comfort zone as the best way to experience life because it feels safe, and safe means we won’t die. But this comfort zone is merely a habit, passed down through generations of ancestors who actually needed to be safe from wild animals, severe weather, lack of food. In other words, this comfort zone does not serve us.

What does serve us is getting out into the world and experiencing life. Soaking in the world’s diversity, chaos, and wonder. Stepping into new experiences and pushing our own comfort zones beyond the borders of fight or flight. So here’s how to get a little more out of your life by leaving your comfort zone:

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Where you are right at this moment is not (necessarily) where you need to be for the rest of your life.

The thing we have to sort out in our brains from time to time is that nothing in this life is inevitable. Absolutely everything and everyone we surround ourselves with is a choice. Which means it is up to you to forge your path. If you’re living at home, or in a city you’re not crazy about, or working a job that is just sort of okay, this isn’t a life sentence. Expand what you think is possible. Write down an ideal life for yourself. Make it absurd, make it unconventional, make it connected to your gut feeling, not your skeptical brain. Then write down your daily life as it stands now. These two lists hold the same amount of non-inevitability, but you made a choice to live one of them. Make a new choice.

If you never leave your 100-mile radius, get out of town and see more of the world. 

There is more to life than just what is in front of our noses. We can reason away that we’re expanding our horizons by trying a new Thai restaurant, or seeing a new play, but that’s not the same as leaving the comfort of our familiar streets and heading out into the unknown. Changing up our geographical location shakes up our insides. Simply being in a new landscape where you are literally looking at new things can change your entire life perspective. With apps like Airbnb, Living Social, and Groupon, there is no reason you can’t switch things up on the fly. Do not think. Just go.

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Just say yes. 

There is one rule in improv comedy: “Yes, and…” You don’t say no to your scene partner because it stops the action. Saying no means everything screeches to a halt and the flow that was building gets immediately shut down. Saying “Yes, and…” to life means you are open to experiences and people, you don’t immediately shut down when someone offers an opportunity and you are able to move forward with both trust and enthusiasm. The next time someone asks you to do something that would take you out of your comfort zone, follow these three steps: Slow Down. Listen. Say yes.

Try all the things you know you want to do. 

You know those things you wanted to do as a kid? Be an astronaut, go horseback riding, write the best sci-fi novel ever written? Chances are there is still a little bit of that desire resonating in your bones. Sit down and make a long list of things that spark a mild interest in you. If you’re not sure where to begin, try a random search engine like StumbleUpon to get your creative juices flowing. Look at your list and assign one new thing to each month of the year. You’re not committing to much, just one new activity a month, but it will fill you up and break your comfort zone on the regular.

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Talk to strangers. 

We are so trained to think strangers will harm us, especially when we live in a big city. But strangers offer a perspective that our friends and family just aren’t giving us. Standing in line for coffee and talking to a stranger usually means there is no pretense. Neither of you care so much what the other thinks, so you’re just a meeting of the minds in that one moment in time. Talking to strangers can be disarming and freeing and let you see the world in all its magical diversity and expansiveness.

Do something you know you won’t be good at.

Maybe the best way to get out of your comfort zone is to do something that will not make you look good. Go ahead and fail. The best way to see that your comfort zone is holding you back from experiencing all the abundance life has to offer is to realize that when you fail, your heart keeps beating, your next breath comes, and it doesn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. When you do something you know you’ll stink at, you begin the learning process again. That learning process is uncomfortable at first, but think about how much you’ve already learned in life. If you hit a certain age and think there is nothing left to learn, you’ve just shut yourself off to the wide range of life’s experiences. Doing something you might fail at is the best initiator for innovation, creation and quantum leaps. Failing never felt so good.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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