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How You Can Create Luck In Everyday Life

How You Can Create Luck In Everyday Life

Creating luck in everyday life is not about carrying a rabbit’s foot around with you, avoiding black cats or wearing lucky pants. There is one main difference between people who are lucky and unlucky—and that’s their mindset.

People who seem to have all the luck are not usually blessed by an outrageous amount of good fortune. They simply have a healthy attitude, which enables them to capitalize on situations. Those who are closed minded and negative simply don’t allow as many good things into their lives, or if good things appear, they don’t even recognize them.

Having a positive way of organizing your thoughts allows you to create your own luck in everyday life. Here are 11 top tips for creating your own luck.

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Focus On What You Want

Whatever you focus on, you tend to get more of. Have you ever broken a limb, and suddenly noticed how many other people there were walking around on crutches or with plaster casts? It wasn’t that there were suddenly more people having accidents, it was that you were noticing them more because that’s what you were paying attention to. Many people spend time thinking about what they don’t want—and, lo and behold, that same horrible stuff keeps showing up in their lives. If you pay attention to what you do want instead, you’ll end up becoming more aware of avenues to getting it.

Be Flexible

Closed-minded people don’t often come up with solutions, because they see only one way of achieving something, and if that doesn’t work out, they just give up. If you open your mind to alternative options and possibilities, you’ll find that things start working out where you thought they wouldn’t. It seems like luck, but it’s your open-mindedness and flexibility that allowed it to happen.

Be Determined

Many celebrities, tycoons and business owners are called lucky, with everyone assuming that they got a break to be where they are now. But often success is down to determination rather than luck. If you work hard and do the right things, it will be acknowledged, and you will be rewarded with more luck in everyday life.

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See the Good in the Past

It is easy to believe that you never have any luck in everyday life if you don’t seem to be getting any breaks. People sometimes bemoan their past for holding them back. They blame their parents, their schooling or their background for not setting them up for success. But having had a difficult life gives you unique lessons and develops strengths and qualities you might never have had if you hadn’t been through tough patches. Be grateful for the good that came from your past.

Try Something New

Luck doesn’t just happen upon us—it comes to us when we’re open. Trying something new is a great way of getting more opportunities. Learning a new skills, visiting a new place, or trying a new hobby are all great ways of expanding your opportunities and your mindset.

Be Grateful For What You Have

Some people are already lucky, and they just don’t know it. Instead of focusing on what’s lacking, look at how lucky you already are. You no doubt have some wonderful friends, family, a roof over your head and food on the table. By acknowledging these things regularly, you can instantly feel more lucky.

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Network

The more people you connect with, the luckier you will be. Knowing different people can get you access to skills, opportunities, connections and more. You never know what wonderful chances each individual could bring to you or how they might enrich your life, until you get to know them.

Be Generous

If you ever want other people to give you opportunities, you have to consider what sort of vibe you are putting out into the world. You can not expect to receive if you never give. Be generous with your time and attention, and you’ll be surprised how many lucky opportunities people may offer you.

Ask For Help

Sometimes people would be prepared to help us out, if they only knew what we needed. If you need a hand with dealing with something, rather than waiting for someone to offer you a lucky break, take the initiative and ask them if they will help you out.

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Be Positive About the Future

People who view the future as threatening, dangerous or uncertain are unlikely to draw any luck to them. Having a negative view of what is to come makes you likely to be mentally and emotionally withdrawn into a place where you won’t even see any lucky opportunities. Be positive and excited about what they future may hold, and you should find many lucky opportunities on the horizon.

Take Action

You’ll never create any luck if you sit there waiting for it to fall into your lap. Take steps towards your goals and dreams and greet every challenge with a positive mindset. You will find you create more luck in everyday life.

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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