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How a Yellow Brick Road Can Help You Achieve Your Goals

How a Yellow Brick Road Can Help You Achieve Your Goals

In a world of instant gratification, it’s easy to get obsessed with finding a silver bullet solution to life’s trials and tribulations. We want to take a pill and be thin overnight, invest in the right stock and be set for life, click our heels three times and be taken home. We say, “If I just had X everything would be perfect. I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. Life would be so easy!” Some people can waste years waiting to win the lottery or be discovered by Oprah, hoping it will solve all their problems.

What makes the pursuit of silver bullets so tragic is the years lost to pipe dreams. All this wasted time could have been better spent investing in a 401K or building an author platform. Instead of chasing rainbows, you can work towards goals that not only create a solid foundation that makes success more secure, but also achieve them via a process that results in more happiness and contentment in your life. Science has shown us, time and again, what we already know to be true (but are often in denial about): the joy is in the journey. Put another way, happiness lies in its pursuit.

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In the beginning of The Wizard of Oz, Dorothy is instructed to “Follow The Yellow Brick Road” if she wants to get back home to Kansas. By the end of the story, we find out that because she’s been wearing the Ruby Slippers the whole time, at any point in her journey, she could have just clicked her heels three times and transported herself home instantly. Hindsight is 20/20, right?

We always have the opportunity to take the shortcuts in life – to check out, to phone it in, to not bother trying. We start out on our own Yellow Brick Road, determined to reach our Emerald City. When the journey gets hard, though, we can start looking for Ruby Red Slippers – magical shortcuts to achieve our dreams. When we find ourselves in a Haunted Forest or Witch’s Castle, it’s tempting to balk and look for an easy way out. What we have to remember is that our journey is what defines us, not our prizes and trophies. When asked why she didn’t tell Dorothy about the Ruby Slippers’ power earlier Glinda says, “Because she wouldn’t have believed me. She had to learn it for herself.” It is these very trials and tribulations life puts us through that enable us to grow stronger, be braver, and become more resilient over time. In fact, it is often not the achievement of goals that leads to happiness. Rather, it is the pursuit of those goals, that brings us the contentment we long for. A recent study even shows that anticipating something can be more enjoyable than actually getting it.

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So how do stay on your Yellow Brick Road, and keep your journey interesting enough to resist the temptation of the occasional pair of Ruby Slippers? How do you craft a life filled with lasting happiness?

Start with these bits of advice:

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  1. Have a Vision for a Quest that fits with your personal interests and values. Shoot for Mastery (attaining progress and growth) goals, versus Performance (demonstrating skill or ability) goals.
  2. Focus on intrinsic goals, not extrinsic goals. Intrinsic aspirations are related to what’s inside the self, rather than to what’s outside the self.
  3. Always “chunk down” big goals into smaller, achievable goals that are progressively more challenging.
  4. Implement an evaluation process (for example, “Plan > Do > Review”) to track your progress.

It was a long journey that enabled Dorothy to see what she was capable of during her adventure in The Wizard of Oz. The Dorothy at the end of the story, isn’t the same girl she was at the beginning. She’s a stronger person because of the challenges she had to overcome along the way. We all have it in us to take the path less traveled by, rather than bypass it for the instant gratification offered by some Ruby Slippers. When you have the chance to click your heels, or follow the yellow brick road, think twice. Even if your end destination is the same, it is how you get there that is will ultimately define who you are when you do arrive.

Featured photo credit: airdiogo via flickr.com

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Last Updated on October 16, 2019

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

We all have relationships. We have acquaintances, relatives, colleagues, neighbors and friends. However, for a large percentage of us, many of these relationships are not fulfilling.

They are unfulfilling because they lack real strength; and they lack real strength because they lack real depth.

Unfortunately, in today’s society, we tend to have shallow, superficial relationships with others, and it’s extremely hard for this kind of relationships to provide anything more than faint satisfaction.

I’d like to show you, based on my experience as a communication and confidence coach, how you can add a significant amount of depth, and thus strength, to your relationships and make your social life a whole lot more meaningful.

Here’re 5 simple yet powerful ways for meaningful relationships building:

1. Meet More People

This is an apparent paradox, but the quality of the people you meet has considerably to do with the quantity of people you meet.

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If you don’t know a lot of people and you barely meet one or two new people every season of the year, considering the variety of individuals out there, you won’t meet very often people who are a good match with you in terms of personality, interests and values.

And since this natural match plays a huge part in building strong relationships, you’ll just as seldom have the opportunity to develop strong relationships.

Conversely, if you go out a lot, you meet a lot of new people and you constantly expand your social circle, you’re much more likely to meet people you match up well with, and these people have a tremendous potential to become good friends, reliable partners, etc.

This is why it’s important to meet more people.

2. Talk about the Things That Matter To You

A relationship becomes the strongest when two people discover they believe in the same things and have similar interests. It’s these commonalities regarding values and interests that create the strongest emotional connection.

I’ve noticed that many people keep conversations shallow. They talk about trivial stuff such as the weather, what’s on TV, the lives of various movie stars, but they rarely talk about what really matters to them in life. This is a mistake from my perspective, because it’s the perfect method for a relationship to not develop.

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Talk about the things that truly matter to you and give others a chance to know what you care about and what you believe in. If they believe in the same things and they care about the same things, they’ll eagerly let you know. Thus you’ll find meaningful common ground and you’ll feel more connected.

3. Express Vulnerability

Many people try to come off as perfect. They don’t talk about their failures, they hide their shortcomings and they never say anything that could embarrass them.

This is all just a facade though. You may appear perfect to some, but you know you’re not perfect and they know that too. You’re only human and humans have flaws.

However, by hiding your flaws, what you do succeed in is appearing cold and impersonal. You seem like a marble statue rather than a real person. And this makes it very hard for anyone to connect with you emotionally.

Humans connect with other humans, not with ideals. Keep this in mind and don’t be afraid to let your vulnerability and your humanity show. This is what takes a relationship to the next level.

Take a look at this article and find out Why Showing Vulnerability Actually Proves Your Strength.

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4. Have Integrity

Integrity, as I see it, is the alignment between your thoughts, your words and your actions. When you say what you think and you do what you said you’ll do, you have integrity.

This is a crucial trait because if you have integrity, people can trust you. They can trust you to give them an honest feedback, even when it’s hard to shallow, and they can trust you to keep your promises.

This trust is one of the central pillars of a strong relationship, both in your personal and your professional life. So, as challenging as it can be sometimes, always try to have integrity.

Be honest with the people around you, even when this will initially hurt them. It’s more important for them to trust you than to not feel hurt. And always do what you promised. Even better, think twice before you promise anything, and only promise what you really can and you are willing to do.

5. Be There for Others

Another central pillar of strong relationships is support. Connections between people grow sturdy if they can rely on each other for support when it’s needed, whether that support means a few kind words or several massive actions.

Of course, you can’t be there for everybody, all the time. Your time, energy and other resources are limited. But what you can do is identify the genuinely important people in your life and then seek to be there as much as possible, at least for them.

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Your support will help them practically, and it will comfort them emotionally; which makes one hell of a difference in a relationship.

The Bottom Line

With the right mindset and the right behavior, you can strengthen a wide range of relationships in your life and advance them as far as they can be advanced.

And with strong relationships, not only that you feel more fulfilled, but you feel more connected to the entire world. You feel that your life has real value, you have more fun and you live in the moment. An entire world of opportunities opens up in front of you.

Then your task is to simply walk through the open doors.

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Featured photo credit: Proxyclick Visitor Management System via unsplash.com

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