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How to Be Awesome at Life

How to Be Awesome at Life

Awesome is defined by Merriam Webster as, “inspiring awe.” Now, you can interpret that many ways, both positively and negatively. What I think may be awesome might not be for you, or for someone else. This tutorial will define the definition of awesome, to mean inspiring awe, by being great.

By becoming awesome in your life, you will open the door to the abundance of possibilities that come with putting out awesome vibes into the world. By learning how to be awesome and putting it to use in your own life, good things will start coming and happening to you on a regular basis.

Awesomeness is a way of life

It’s about how you behave and interact in the world. It’s about being your greatest self and putting yourself and what you have to offer out into the world. Being awesome is waking up each morning with the intention of moving forward on your journey, progressing as a person, and wanting to do whatever you can to make a positive difference in your life and the lives of others.

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Here are some examples of being awesome;

  • Being optimistic and having a positive outlook
  • Reaching for, finding, and living your passions and dreams
  • Facing your fears and overcoming them with confidence
  • Leading by examples of honesty, integrity, and thoughtfulness
  • Helping others and giving back to your community, however you can
  • Treating others as they deserve to be treated: with kindness and respect, unless they are not deserving (aka..not being awesome)
  • Continue growing, learning, evolving, and participating in the world, helping to make a difference
  • Having the courage to stand up for yourself and others
  • Being able to raise your voice when no one’s listening
  • Being of high character and having moral values 
  • Bringing out your inner creativity and showing it to the world
  • etc…

To make it fair, here are some examples of how to be not-so-awesome;

  • Being narcissistic and selfish, thinking only of yourself and your own needs
  • Treating others badly because of your own situation
  • Feeling sorry for yourself, taking your aggressions out on others, and being a Debbie downer
  • Being greedy, corrupt, dishonest, unfaithful, asinine, or any other type of monster
  • Being pessimistic and negative

Hopefully, you now understand a little more about how to be awesome at life. Just cleaning up some of the not-so-awesome aspects and characteristics will help you on your way to becoming more awesome in your life.

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Benefits of being Awesome

The benefits of being awesome are only limited to the amount of awesomeness you continue to attain. Like I said earlier, it’s a process, a journey. Being awesome can’t happen overnight, but if you start to practice it on a regular basis, you will begin to change as a person. More than likely, you will begin to become the person you truly want to be.

Here are some clear advantages that come from acting in a more awesome-like fashion;

  • The energy of awesomeness you put out into the world causes a ripple effect and does make an impact
  • You will begin to feel better and will want to be happier, healthier, and truly free
  • You will be inspiring and help people in their lives, making a difference
  • The journey of life will begin to feel just like that — a journey of the pursuit of greatness

First Steps to Take

I’m sure you have a good understanding of how to be awesome in your own life by now, but what about getting started? After all, getting started and taking action is one of the most difficult and underused methods of moving forward in one’s life. The good news for you is, now that you know the hardest part is just starting, you know what you’re up against.

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Step 1: Listen to your inner voices

In particular, listen to your conscience and inner consciousness. This is fairly easy if you take away the mystery aspect some may have. Find a quiet place where you can be alone, just you and your thoughts. Allow yourself to clear your mind of the clutter of your everyday life and just relax. Start to ponder on your life, how things are going, and if you are truly living up to your full potential.

Step 2: Feel the Need

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If, after you have thought about what your life would look like if you were being more awesome, you do not feel an inner need to change, then don’t. You have to feel it. You have to want to participate on this journey. Not everyone wants to be awesome. That’s not to say they aren’t good people, it just means they are content with their current life situation, and that’s fine.

Step 3: Start 

If you feel the need to change your life and your current circumstances, all you have to do is start. Start following some of the earlier examples of ways to be awesome. Once you start doing the things in life that are awesome, you will see the effect it has on your thoughts, interactions with others, and feelings towards your life.

Ready, Set, Go!!! Be awesome and help others become awesome too.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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