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How to Manage Powerful Emotions Easily

How to Manage Powerful Emotions Easily

Whether you feel depressed, angry, overwhelmed, or just worried about the future, there is a way to effectively manage your emotions and feel better right now! Let’s dive in!

When you are depressed.

Realize that this situation you’re going through is not all YOUR fault. It’s also other people’s fault. Externalizing the blame will help you get out of the depression phase, and possibly move you to anger… which is good news! Just create a list with all the people and conditions that are to blame…Don’t you feel a little better in doing so? Exactly, that’s relief, and it’s a necessary step if you want to get out of this dark situation you’re in.

You see, being angry is one step higher than being depressed. Then, once you’re angry, you can work on softening your feelings. Alternatively, if you can get yourself off the bed where you wallow in your pain, and actually exercise, then try it! Did you know that exercising is as capable as Zoloft in curing depression?

Not yet exercising? Your luck might change if you try Exercise Bliss, a step by step video program that helps you become a consistent exerciser even if you lack the motivation to exercise.

When you are angry.

Your goal is to move to frustrated, which is still angry but not too angry. Realize that if the other people who made you angry knew any better, then they would have done it. Plus, the situation that caused your anger was not even really about you. Other people project how they see the world on you.

Did your colleague just tell you that your glasses look awful? Don’t be surprised if they are judging themselves for their glasses, or if they’re really judgmental about their appearance. Their view on your glasses is connected to what they believe about themselves.

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Let’s see another example:

“I’m angry at myself for having allowed to become so fat. How did I do such a thing?”

Now, moving to frustrated…

“Well, what can I do about that? What’s done is done. I know it sucks, but I also know I cannot change the past. I can only work with what I have right now.”

Got it?

When you are worried about the future.

Worry means you’re focusing too much on things you can’t control. You can’t control the weather, or other peopel’s reactions, but you can control your actions. So you could spend tons of time worrying whether you’ll get more clients, instead of actually doing what you can control—finding clients!

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Focus on what you can control. Don’t devote your valuable resources to things you cannot control. And if you need extra resources to make this happen, this video will make you a beat-worry ninja.

When you are overwhelmed.

In one word, simplify. Do less. Aim for less.

First, clear your thinking. It’s an absolute necessity to eliminate tasks from your to-do list, or postpone some of the tasks for another day. Go through your to-do list and ask yourself: “Do I absolutely need to do this today?”

Now, another reason we’re overwhelmed is that we have too many choices. For example, when picking what to do professionally, but having too many passions, then what do we do?

Watch NYT best-selling author Ramit Sethi nail this question in this video:

When you are envious.

First, accept that feeling envious showcases a desire of yours straight in your face.

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For example, if you’re envious of rich people, it’s because you want to get rich too. Admit it.

Second, wish those people the best. No, they were not “lucky”. Or, it’s none of your business to decide whether they were worth it or not.

Finally, focus on yourself. You just realized you have a desire big enough that causes you to feel envy. Time to start planning how to get there?

Exactly. Get into action and the envy will be gone.

When you are desperate.

Feeling desperate shows you have created momentum that emphasizes the gap between where you are and where you want to go.

So for example, if you are currently 180 pounds but want to drop to 140, you might feel desperate if you have spent enough time thinking that you are 40 POUNDS AWAY FROM YOUR GOAL.

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You need to take it easy. Detach. Focus less on what’s left and more on what you have already achieved. The moment you start focusing less on the gap between where you are and where you want to go, you’ll feel better immediately.

When you are guilty.

Wherever there’s guilt, there’s also a “should” you are not following. So if you believe you should exercise, but don’t, then you’ll feel guilty. If you believe that good people don’t cheat, but you do, then you’ll feel guilty.

Guilt is evidence you are not conforming to one of your “shoulds”. Your first task is to discover what that “should” is.

Your second job is to examine whether you should keep that “should” or toss it. Or, maybe you need to tweak it. Maybe you are “enough” no matter your flaws and shortcomings. The overcoming guilt technique shows you various examples of how you can deal with guilt effectively.

Do you you have any tricks and tips for managing your emotions? I’d love to know. Leave a comment below and share your wisdom.

More by this author

Maria Brilaki

Maria helps people create habits that stick not just for a month or two but for years and decades.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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