My friend. I know how you feel. I’ve been there. And it’s not easy.
You have to focus on the need to rebuild yourself so you don’t sink into a depression and lose your self-esteem. Though the journey often begins with resentment and the feeling that everything around you is collapsing, there are ways to stay strong and heal a broken heart.
That’s what I’ll try to show you in this article, which is slightly different from the traditional tips shared on LifeHack. But, after all, even the best players sometimes have to deal with failure, and you can’t ignore your emotions.
It’s time to take charge of your life!
1. Ask yourself the right questions to grow as an individual
The reasons leading to a breakup are diverse and varied. Objectively studying your own personal case can help overcome your pain and overcome the loneliness it brings.
The fault is rarely one-sided when your girlfriend or boyfriend breaks up with you. You feel hurt, betrayed, and abandoned, but these feelings, as powerful as they are, form a veil that hides the reality you need to be aware of. It isn’t exclusively your fault, you do share some of the blame.
Being able to examine this fact, as unpleasant as it may be, will bring your mistakes to light so you can avoid repeating them in the future. It will also help you understand what you are looking for in a relationship: you will gradually come to understand why it didn’t work with your now-ex, and you will be better able to identify what to look for in a potential partner.
It’s normal to feel guilt, but there is no point in convincing yourself that everything was rosy with your ex, or that you would like everything back like it was before. This limits your healing process and to blinds you to the real issue at hand: getting out of this mess.
2. Reinvent yourself and keep your spirit up!
Do not veg out in front of your TV or lock yourself in your room. If you focus on the injustice and sadness of life, you’ll only torture yourself. There is no anti-heartache pill.
In truth, though, there are ways to improve things, especially if you are motivated to make them better! It’s time to be realistic: a break-up, however small it may be, is a turning point in life, a break from the everyday.
What better time to drive change in your life? You are now free to reinvent yourself. What better way to change your mindset than using this as a catalyst for change! Adopt a new look, a new hairstyle, or work on developing new skills.
Get active, find new interests, go to different places, or meet new people. You must make a change to be able to move on psychologically. Prove to yourself that you’re better than your ex believes you to be.
3. A new person with new goals
Set new personal goals, such as getting your degree, learning a new language, getting your motorcycle license, or even finding a part time job (depending on your age) to get a little pocket money to invest in this new life!
Don’t sit around – hang out with friends, visit your family, use your free time to do what you wanted to do but didn’t have time for in your old relationship. Travel, play sports, go to football games, go see a concert, etc.
Heartbreak is certainly difficult to live through, but can benefit you in ways you might not suspect. Selfishly, you can say that it allows you to focus on the most important person in your life: you!
And for those who insist that they have lost the love of their life, I invite you to meditate on love: What did you really like about your partner? The person they were, or how they made you feel when you were with them?
Love is a selfish feeling, even though, paradoxically, it is based on sharing. So there is no shame in wanting to feel better, or in wanting to get over the situation. In fact, you have to heal, if only for the sake of those around you who want to spend time with you.
If you look at it objectively, a break-up can be an opportunity for personal improvement and positive changes in your life. The ability to cope with these devastating feelings, rather than drown in them, is there, deep within you. The trick is to have rock-hard faith in yourself. Don’t give up – we are here to help you get through this! Stay strong!
And always remember: Live well. Love much. Laugh often.