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How To Heal A Broken Heart In 3 Easy Steps

How To Heal A Broken Heart In 3 Easy Steps

My friend. I know how you feel. I’ve been there. And it’s not easy.

You have to focus on the need to rebuild yourself so you don’t sink into a depression and lose your self-esteem. Though the journey often begins with resentment and the feeling that everything around you is collapsing, there are ways to stay strong and heal a broken heart.

That’s what I’ll try to show you in this article, which is slightly different from the traditional tips shared on LifeHack. But, after all, even the best players sometimes have to deal with failure, and you can’t ignore your emotions.

It’s time to take charge of your life!

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1. Ask yourself the right questions to  grow as an individual

The reasons leading to a breakup are diverse and varied. Objectively studying your own personal case can help overcome your pain and overcome the loneliness it brings.

The fault is rarely one-sided when your girlfriend or boyfriend breaks up with you. You feel hurt, betrayed, and abandoned, but these feelings, as powerful as they are, form a veil that hides the reality you need to be aware of. It isn’t exclusively your fault, you do share some of the blame.

Being able to examine this fact, as unpleasant as it may be, will bring your mistakes to light so you can avoid repeating them in the future. It will also help you understand what you are looking for in a relationship: you will gradually come to understand why it didn’t work with your now-ex, and you will be better able to identify what to look for in a potential partner.

It’s normal to feel guilt, but there is no point in convincing yourself that everything was rosy with your ex, or that you would like everything back like it was before. This limits your healing process and to blinds you to the real issue at hand: getting out of this mess.

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2. Reinvent yourself and keep your spirit up!

Do not veg out in front of your TV or lock yourself in your room. If you focus on the injustice and sadness of life, you’ll only torture yourself. There is no anti-heartache pill.

In truth, though, there are ways to improve things, especially if you are motivated to make them better! It’s time to be realistic: a break-up, however small it may be, is a turning point in life, a break from the everyday.

What better time to drive change in your life? You are now free to reinvent yourself. What better way to change your mindset than using this as a catalyst for change! Adopt a new look, a new hairstyle, or work on developing new skills.

Get active, find new interests, go to different places, or meet new people. You must make a change to be able to move on psychologically. Prove to yourself that you’re better than your ex believes you to be.

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3. A new person with new goals

Set new personal goals, such as getting your degree, learning a new language, getting your motorcycle license, or even finding a part time job (depending on your age) to get a little pocket money to invest in this new life!

Don’t sit around – hang out with friends, visit your family, use your free time to do what you wanted to do but didn’t have time for in your old relationship. Travel, play sports, go to football games, go see a concert, etc.

Heartbreak is certainly difficult to live through, but can benefit you in ways you might not suspect. Selfishly, you can say that it allows you to focus on the most important person in your life: you!

And for those who insist that they have lost the love of their life, I invite you to meditate on love: What did you really like about your partner? The person they were, or how they made ​​you feel when you were with them?

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Love is a selfish feeling, even though, paradoxically, it is based on sharing. So there is no shame in wanting to feel better, or in wanting to get over the situation. In fact, you have to heal, if only for the sake of those around you who want to spend time with you.

 If you look at it objectively, a break-up can be an opportunity for personal improvement and positive changes in your life. The ability to cope with these devastating feelings, rather than drown in them, is there, deep within you. The trick is to have rock-hard faith in yourself. Don’t give up – we are here to help you get through this! Stay strong!

And always remember: Live well. Love much. Laugh often.

Good luck.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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