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How To Have Healthy Relationships When You Come From A Broken Family

How To Have Healthy Relationships When You Come From A Broken Family

How do you have healthy relationships when you come from a broken family? This is a question most of us can relate to. Sometimes we can refer to our families as dysfunctional, but learning how to deal with dysfunction can give us the upper hand when it comes to sorting any family drama. To you, a broken family may mean adoption, parent-child turbulence, sibling competition, divorce, or the loss of a loved one, but by embracing your family status (however that may look), you’ll find yourself building stronger, healthier, relationships for the future.

 

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1. You Need To Accept Your Past To Have Healthy Relationships

Okay, so maybe you had a complicated childhood, a rough start to a marriage, or even trouble with the in-laws. These altercations do not and should not define you. Accepting that you had to manage these kinds of encounters not only makes you a stronger person, you’re also wiser for it. The biggest feat to overcoming any broken family situation is knowing that you survived! Although your past can make you feel as if you are withered and jaded (and you have every right to feel that way), step outside of the past because it’s time to live in the present. Life is always just beginning, and healthy relationships are just around the corner. 

2. You Need To Recognize Your Weaknesses To Have Healthy Relationships

We all have weaknesses, it’s a fact. The biggest hurtle is to recognize them, after that, managing them can become a lot simpler. Admitting feelings like jealousy to yourself does not showcase your weakness, but only displays your strengths. It’s time to stop building a wall of excuses and address the root of your problems. Once you get the hang of accepting your weaknesses, managing them won’t feel so intimidating, and all the triggers that once set you off with your loved ones, will soon leave you calm and in-control to build your healthiest relationships yet! 

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3. You Need To Embrace Your Strengths To Have Healthy Relationships

Sometimes in broken families you lose touch with your strengths and what you can actually bring to the table. Right now, it doesn’t matter what anyone has said to you in previous altercations. Today is a new day and once you begin to see your worth and embrace your strengths, others will begin to see your worth too. Healthy relationships start with respect and acknowledgment of each other’s positive characteristics. If you are struggling to find the good inside of yourself, grab a paper and pen and make a list. Think of the things you are good at, think of your talents, and your character traits. It will add up quickly that you are an awesome person to have around and you should be thanked for simply being you. 

4. You Need To Learn To Truly Listen To Others To Have Healthy Relationships

Listening is your greatest tool when building healthy relationships. It helps you practice empathy and compassion which is very important to when communicating to one another. Having the ability to give your undivided attention shows love and appreciation to people, and it works best when it’s reciprocated. It’s easy to always be the one talking, nagging, complaining, or bragging, so when you can exercise self-control and just sit and listen without interrupting the ones you care about, you bring unimaginable amounts of value to the relationship. Everyone wants to be heard, but it’s a gift only a few receive. 

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5. You Need To Control Reactionary Words and Actions To Have Healthy Relationships

In the past, maybe you fought and argued, maybe you ran and hid, how about that really nasty word or accusation you made? Now, in the future be pro-active and use self-control when addressing sticky situations. The best of relationships can break the moment someone feels accused. Relationships are not about blaming or hurting, they are about unity and compromise. We can’t expect to spit fire and get soap bubbles back. Mind what you say, say what you mean, and respect will remain mutual. Words may not break bones, but they sure can kinder souls. 

6. You Need To Respect The Power Of Trust To Have Healthy Relationships

Some people from broken families struggle with relationships because they have yet to feel a since of stability. A part of building a relationship with anyone is being honest and trustworthy. Each party of the relationship needs to feel as if they can trust one another, whether that’s telling a friend a secret in confidentiality, or giving your heart entirely to a lover. Without trust you both become skeptical of one another, as you would be to a stranger on the street. If you’ve lost trust in people because of your broken family, just remember that not all people are the same, and some do deserve the chance to be trusted.

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 7. You Need To Comprehend Teamwork To Have Healthy Relationships

No matter what, every relationship is 50/50. No mistake, decision, or action is just one person’s doing. In relationships most people do things based on the circumstances of the other person. You need to put in what you want out of a relationship, and sometimes that means admitting that you were wrong every now and then, crushing your ego for a smile in return, or scarfing your want for someone else’s need.

8. You Need To Know When History Is Repeating Itself To Have Healthy Relationships

You’ve seen it over and over again, and you can’t figure out how to stop it. It seems as if poor relationships have followed you around your entire life, but you can’t blame yourself for that, you only know what you know. If you happened to have grown up in an environment were relationships were taken for granted, and bad habits were of the norm, the most important thing you can do for yourself is recognize and avoid them. It’s not always about letting go of relationships that don’t help you grow, because it shouldn’t be about using people until they are no good to you anymore. It’s about knowing when to say enough is enough, because the relationship is stumping your growth. If you’re noticing a reoccurring trend that is obviously not working for you, maybe you have to be the one to break the link for new beginnings.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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