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How To Have Healthy Relationships When You Come From A Broken Family

How To Have Healthy Relationships When You Come From A Broken Family

How do you have healthy relationships when you come from a broken family? This is a question most of us can relate to. Sometimes we can refer to our families as dysfunctional, but learning how to deal with dysfunction can give us the upper hand when it comes to sorting any family drama. To you, a broken family may mean adoption, parent-child turbulence, sibling competition, divorce, or the loss of a loved one, but by embracing your family status (however that may look), you’ll find yourself building stronger, healthier, relationships for the future.

 

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1. You Need To Accept Your Past To Have Healthy Relationships

Okay, so maybe you had a complicated childhood, a rough start to a marriage, or even trouble with the in-laws. These altercations do not and should not define you. Accepting that you had to manage these kinds of encounters not only makes you a stronger person, you’re also wiser for it. The biggest feat to overcoming any broken family situation is knowing that you survived! Although your past can make you feel as if you are withered and jaded (and you have every right to feel that way), step outside of the past because it’s time to live in the present. Life is always just beginning, and healthy relationships are just around the corner. 

2. You Need To Recognize Your Weaknesses To Have Healthy Relationships

We all have weaknesses, it’s a fact. The biggest hurtle is to recognize them, after that, managing them can become a lot simpler. Admitting feelings like jealousy to yourself does not showcase your weakness, but only displays your strengths. It’s time to stop building a wall of excuses and address the root of your problems. Once you get the hang of accepting your weaknesses, managing them won’t feel so intimidating, and all the triggers that once set you off with your loved ones, will soon leave you calm and in-control to build your healthiest relationships yet! 

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3. You Need To Embrace Your Strengths To Have Healthy Relationships

Sometimes in broken families you lose touch with your strengths and what you can actually bring to the table. Right now, it doesn’t matter what anyone has said to you in previous altercations. Today is a new day and once you begin to see your worth and embrace your strengths, others will begin to see your worth too. Healthy relationships start with respect and acknowledgment of each other’s positive characteristics. If you are struggling to find the good inside of yourself, grab a paper and pen and make a list. Think of the things you are good at, think of your talents, and your character traits. It will add up quickly that you are an awesome person to have around and you should be thanked for simply being you. 

4. You Need To Learn To Truly Listen To Others To Have Healthy Relationships

Listening is your greatest tool when building healthy relationships. It helps you practice empathy and compassion which is very important to when communicating to one another. Having the ability to give your undivided attention shows love and appreciation to people, and it works best when it’s reciprocated. It’s easy to always be the one talking, nagging, complaining, or bragging, so when you can exercise self-control and just sit and listen without interrupting the ones you care about, you bring unimaginable amounts of value to the relationship. Everyone wants to be heard, but it’s a gift only a few receive. 

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5. You Need To Control Reactionary Words and Actions To Have Healthy Relationships

In the past, maybe you fought and argued, maybe you ran and hid, how about that really nasty word or accusation you made? Now, in the future be pro-active and use self-control when addressing sticky situations. The best of relationships can break the moment someone feels accused. Relationships are not about blaming or hurting, they are about unity and compromise. We can’t expect to spit fire and get soap bubbles back. Mind what you say, say what you mean, and respect will remain mutual. Words may not break bones, but they sure can kinder souls. 

6. You Need To Respect The Power Of Trust To Have Healthy Relationships

Some people from broken families struggle with relationships because they have yet to feel a since of stability. A part of building a relationship with anyone is being honest and trustworthy. Each party of the relationship needs to feel as if they can trust one another, whether that’s telling a friend a secret in confidentiality, or giving your heart entirely to a lover. Without trust you both become skeptical of one another, as you would be to a stranger on the street. If you’ve lost trust in people because of your broken family, just remember that not all people are the same, and some do deserve the chance to be trusted.

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 7. You Need To Comprehend Teamwork To Have Healthy Relationships

No matter what, every relationship is 50/50. No mistake, decision, or action is just one person’s doing. In relationships most people do things based on the circumstances of the other person. You need to put in what you want out of a relationship, and sometimes that means admitting that you were wrong every now and then, crushing your ego for a smile in return, or scarfing your want for someone else’s need.

8. You Need To Know When History Is Repeating Itself To Have Healthy Relationships

You’ve seen it over and over again, and you can’t figure out how to stop it. It seems as if poor relationships have followed you around your entire life, but you can’t blame yourself for that, you only know what you know. If you happened to have grown up in an environment were relationships were taken for granted, and bad habits were of the norm, the most important thing you can do for yourself is recognize and avoid them. It’s not always about letting go of relationships that don’t help you grow, because it shouldn’t be about using people until they are no good to you anymore. It’s about knowing when to say enough is enough, because the relationship is stumping your growth. If you’re noticing a reoccurring trend that is obviously not working for you, maybe you have to be the one to break the link for new beginnings.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

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Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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