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How To Have A Better Love Life In 9 Steps

How To Have A Better Love Life In 9 Steps

A better love life is within reach for anyone. It only takes desire and concerted effort to make headway. The following 9 steps will lead any person to have a love life they can treasure.

Step 1. Nurture your self-love.

As one gets older, no truer statement becomes more real for us than the words, “If you don’t love yourself, you will not have the love life you want.”

When there is a lack of self-love, there is also a shortage of self-respect and self-compassion. Absence of these fundamental feelings for oneself will create an environment where a person will tolerate mistreatment all too easily.

A person who has healthy self-love values his or her feelings and well-being. They require a certain amount of respect, kindness, and gratitude from their significant other.

Step 2. Know what you bring to the table.

This is permission to toot your own horn. Write down and own what is wonderful and amazing about you.

The more you know what you are worth, the more it becomes apparent to others. Developing a healthy sense of self-confidence will boost your love life to the next level because nothing is sexier than a self-assured person.

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Step 3. Clearly express your wants and needs.

Speak up and ask for what will make you happier and improve your love life.

Effectively communicating your wants and needs will speed up the process of advancing your love life to something that you adore.

As you nurture self-love and confidence, it will become easier to ask for what you want. Your darling will appreciate your honesty and forthrightness because it will be clear to them what they need to do to make you happy and feel loved.

Step 4. Make your physical body sexy to you.

What do you think is sexy? Perhaps it’s soft skin, toned muscles, plump booty, to a name a few.

Whatever it is that you think is sensual, do that for yourself. Wear perfume, put on pretty undergarments, workout and boost your sexy factor.

When a person feels sexy, it’s pretty dazzling to others too. When your better half sees how you take care of yourself, he or she will take notice and your love life can’t help but benefit.

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Step 5. Explore your body and know what turns you on.

Until our partners can read our minds, we need to speak up and steer them into what makes us feel loved. Some people are good at reading body language, some are not. Make it easier for your mate to satisfy you by telling him or her what turns you on.

A healthy love life includes a healthy sex life. Sex between two people who love each other is one way to express that love.

To feel connected, seen, and satisfied in this intimate way will do wonders to enrich your love life.

Step 6. Learn to listen.

From our lover describing what turns him or her on, to them talking about their day, listen intently.

When people feel heard — that is, when they have a sense that what they are saying is being understood and taken into consideration — they feel connected and respected.

These feelings create immense satisfaction; it’s like rainbows, unicorns, and chocolate all in one to them. Such emotions confirm that they have made the right choice in who to love.

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Speaking from personal experience, when my love makes me feel heard, I see him through rose colored glasses and my heart expands.

Step 7. Practice heart expansion with your loved one.

Heart expansion is acting in a way that makes your heart explode with love and goodness. Conversely, heart contraction is doing things that make you feel sad, angry, and unloved.

When you practice heart expansion with your partner, you do things for them that make them feel good, but also, it makes you feel great.

For example, your loved one has been working long hours all week so you decide to make a special dinner, draw them a bath, or provide space for them to have some quiet time. Whatever it is you do, it’s something that makes them feel loved and cared for. At the same time, this generosity expands your heart which makes you cherish your love life.

Step 8. Cultivate your friendship.

Your lover does not have to be your best friend, but he or she should be a good friend. A person whom you can easily talk to, hang out with, and of course, is loyal through and through.

This other aspect of your connection will contribute to the health and longevity of your relationship.

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The deeper the bond you have with your significant other, the greater the loving feelings you develop. This results into a more intimate experience in love making.

Step 9. Learn to love your partner’s imperfections.

There is a Japanese term and world view called wabi-sabi which translates to finding beauty in imperfection. It’s derived from Buddhist teachings where impermanence is accepted and understood as the way of life.

There is no faultless partner or perfect love life. There is only our good perception of our other half and the ideal love situation we desire. Therefore, as we look upon them, we need to see their imperfections as part of their beauty.

The more beauty we see in our spouse — that is, looking at him or her in their totality and truly seeing what makes them special — the more reasons we can find to love them.

With a wabi-sabi attitude towards our lover, we can create the love life we always dreamed of.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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