Advertising
Advertising

How to Effectively Tend to the Relationships in Your Life

How to Effectively Tend to the Relationships in Your Life

We all have relationships with a number of people, including wives, husbands, parents, children, brothers and sisters. When you interact with so many different people and personalities, clashes are bound to occur. Every person has different ideologies, values, and beliefs. Maintaining healthy relationships takes work. Here are some helpful tips on how to tend to the various relationships in your life.

Give time.

The people with whom you are related to need your company very often. They might not show it, but they do crave time with you. Start today. Take some time to sit and talk with the people in your life. They will appreciate the time you take to nurture the relationship you have.

Listen patiently and speak less.

Many of us do not realize that one who listens well can speak well. Listen patiently to what those you care about are saying, rather than breaking in before they finish talking. Listening carefully helps you grasp their point of view more effectively and also gives the other person a sense that they are important to you. Listen without thinking about your response and you’ll truly hear what they are trying to tell you.

Consider other points of view.

One-sided thinking is extremely harmful in any relationship. It is essential to consider the other person’s point of view in any conversation or situation. Many times thinking from your perspective alone is not sufficient to yield the desired results. There could be other aspects associated with a situation. Always take into consideration the point of view of everyone involved.

Advertising

Learn when to let go.

There will be times where it will be beneficial for everyone involved to let go of certain issues. Everyone does not think in the same way. The expectation of bringing every issue to a resolution is futile. So just let go. Move on positively and leave it to time to decide the results.

Consider other people’s priorities.

You cannot clap with a single hand. If someone somewhere is keeping your priorities on top and moving on, then there will be a point in time where you need to give importance to their priorities and happiness. This is essential for a healthy relationship.

Be kind and show respect.

Show humility every day. Learn to be kind to everyone including those who are related to you. An arrogant attitude can never stand very long. A healthy relationship demands respect for the relation and even for all the individuals related.

Allow others space to make their own decisions.

Avoid interfering or poking your nose in each and every matter. Your support is needed but everyone needs their liberty and space. Let them go forward with their decisions, and be there for them whenever they need you.

Advertising

Let go of those who have gone.

Those who have gone have their own liberty to think for themselves. Let them go and allow yourself to move on develop and maintain healthy future relationships. Sticking to the past will not help you in long run.

Do what you say and say what you do.

Your actions and words must be synchronized. Say only what you can do and what you have already said must be done anyhow. Action and words in opposite directions develop a negative perception of your personality.

Give everyone a fair chance in your relationships.

You might not always completely understand the other person, and they might need time to build up trust for their own self in your mind. Give them a fair chance to place their ideas completely and precisely. This is very important as we do not realize that reality can be very different from our perceptions. Even we need time to understand and realize things in their true form.

Accept people just the way they are and not the way you want them to be.

Everyone cannot think  or act in the way we might want them to. It is better to accept them the way they are. If we cannot, then we are going to get ourselves in trouble. Instead of assuming their ideology is incorrect, improve your character in a way that inspires them to become like you.

Advertising

Try to interpret intentions in a positive way.

In certain situations, it could get difficult for you to understand the other person’s perspective clearly. You would feel they are wrong but somewhere at the roots, they care for you and want you to beware of any difficulty you could face ahead. Before reaching a conclusion, try to analyze the intentions of the person positively. Look for that positivity in their intentions and you will find your way.

Learn to ask for forgiveness and forgive others when needed.

Forgiveness is the most effective tool in any person’s life, and it is equally difficult to hold onto. In relationships, learn to forgive your partner or those you have relationships with. You’ll feel lighter and stronger. This quality will help you become humble and kind. Additionally, do not hesitate to ask for forgiveness when the situation arises. Everyone makes mistake. Put aside your ego and say, “I’m sorry.”

Reduce your expectations.

The day your expectations do not get fulfilled, you get angry and wild. Why? It is because you expected something and wished for its fulfillment? A truly healthy relationship means giving without asking for anything in return. You can call it the purest form of love; love for anyone with whom you are related to.

Start expressing your positive feelings more often.

If you love someone or care for them, then say it or find a means to express this emotion. Those you love might not know how much you value them; so express yourself effectively.

Advertising

Start practicing these steps today. Things will not change overnight. It is a process that needs patience to yield results. These points seem very simple, yet we many times forget and keep wondering what is missing from our relationships. So start contemplating on these points today. I’m sure things will change for you and the difference will be sweet.

Featured photo credit: beautiful little boy and girl hug/Katsiaryna Drobysheva via shutterstock.com

More by this author

How to Effectively Tend to the Relationships in Your Life 5 Steps That Will Squash Your Negative Thoughts Do You Make These Parenting Mistakes?

Trending in Communication

1 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 2 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 3 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 4 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

Advertising

The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

Advertising

If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

Advertising

In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

Advertising

It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

More Articles About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next