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How to Effectively Tend to the Relationships in Your Life

How to Effectively Tend to the Relationships in Your Life

We all have relationships with a number of people, including wives, husbands, parents, children, brothers and sisters. When you interact with so many different people and personalities, clashes are bound to occur. Every person has different ideologies, values, and beliefs. Maintaining healthy relationships takes work. Here are some helpful tips on how to tend to the various relationships in your life.

Give time.

The people with whom you are related to need your company very often. They might not show it, but they do crave time with you. Start today. Take some time to sit and talk with the people in your life. They will appreciate the time you take to nurture the relationship you have.

Listen patiently and speak less.

Many of us do not realize that one who listens well can speak well. Listen patiently to what those you care about are saying, rather than breaking in before they finish talking. Listening carefully helps you grasp their point of view more effectively and also gives the other person a sense that they are important to you. Listen without thinking about your response and you’ll truly hear what they are trying to tell you.

Consider other points of view.

One-sided thinking is extremely harmful in any relationship. It is essential to consider the other person’s point of view in any conversation or situation. Many times thinking from your perspective alone is not sufficient to yield the desired results. There could be other aspects associated with a situation. Always take into consideration the point of view of everyone involved.

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Learn when to let go.

There will be times where it will be beneficial for everyone involved to let go of certain issues. Everyone does not think in the same way. The expectation of bringing every issue to a resolution is futile. So just let go. Move on positively and leave it to time to decide the results.

Consider other people’s priorities.

You cannot clap with a single hand. If someone somewhere is keeping your priorities on top and moving on, then there will be a point in time where you need to give importance to their priorities and happiness. This is essential for a healthy relationship.

Be kind and show respect.

Show humility every day. Learn to be kind to everyone including those who are related to you. An arrogant attitude can never stand very long. A healthy relationship demands respect for the relation and even for all the individuals related.

Allow others space to make their own decisions.

Avoid interfering or poking your nose in each and every matter. Your support is needed but everyone needs their liberty and space. Let them go forward with their decisions, and be there for them whenever they need you.

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Let go of those who have gone.

Those who have gone have their own liberty to think for themselves. Let them go and allow yourself to move on develop and maintain healthy future relationships. Sticking to the past will not help you in long run.

Do what you say and say what you do.

Your actions and words must be synchronized. Say only what you can do and what you have already said must be done anyhow. Action and words in opposite directions develop a negative perception of your personality.

Give everyone a fair chance in your relationships.

You might not always completely understand the other person, and they might need time to build up trust for their own self in your mind. Give them a fair chance to place their ideas completely and precisely. This is very important as we do not realize that reality can be very different from our perceptions. Even we need time to understand and realize things in their true form.

Accept people just the way they are and not the way you want them to be.

Everyone cannot think  or act in the way we might want them to. It is better to accept them the way they are. If we cannot, then we are going to get ourselves in trouble. Instead of assuming their ideology is incorrect, improve your character in a way that inspires them to become like you.

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Try to interpret intentions in a positive way.

In certain situations, it could get difficult for you to understand the other person’s perspective clearly. You would feel they are wrong but somewhere at the roots, they care for you and want you to beware of any difficulty you could face ahead. Before reaching a conclusion, try to analyze the intentions of the person positively. Look for that positivity in their intentions and you will find your way.

Learn to ask for forgiveness and forgive others when needed.

Forgiveness is the most effective tool in any person’s life, and it is equally difficult to hold onto. In relationships, learn to forgive your partner or those you have relationships with. You’ll feel lighter and stronger. This quality will help you become humble and kind. Additionally, do not hesitate to ask for forgiveness when the situation arises. Everyone makes mistake. Put aside your ego and say, “I’m sorry.”

Reduce your expectations.

The day your expectations do not get fulfilled, you get angry and wild. Why? It is because you expected something and wished for its fulfillment? A truly healthy relationship means giving without asking for anything in return. You can call it the purest form of love; love for anyone with whom you are related to.

Start expressing your positive feelings more often.

If you love someone or care for them, then say it or find a means to express this emotion. Those you love might not know how much you value them; so express yourself effectively.

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Start practicing these steps today. Things will not change overnight. It is a process that needs patience to yield results. These points seem very simple, yet we many times forget and keep wondering what is missing from our relationships. So start contemplating on these points today. I’m sure things will change for you and the difference will be sweet.

Featured photo credit: beautiful little boy and girl hug/Katsiaryna Drobysheva via shutterstock.com

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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