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How To Create An Instant Connection With Your Website Visitors

How To Create An Instant Connection With Your Website Visitors

Do you ever get nostalgic for the good old days when business was just so much more personal? When you chatted with the cashier while they bagged your groceries, or when your movie rentals were handed to you by a human instead of a giant red box?

The missing human element can seem even more obvious online. And that’s a real problem. Because your customers are searching for that personal touch—for a connection. No matter how much we love the convenience today’s fast-paced business world provides, we all still largely prefer to exchange our time and money with people we know and trust.

But just because you run a business online doesn’t mean your company is doomed to make a faceless, robotic-like impression on your audience. You can build genuine, meaningful connections online. Here’s how.

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Make your website an easy place to stay

If you want to build an authentic connection with your visitors, you first need them to stick around long enough to actually read any of your copy. Just as in real life, people make instantaneous assumptions based on visual elements. If you want to snag longer than three seconds of connection-building time with your website visitors, get these elements under control:

  • Design. You don’t have to shell out thousands of dollars in order to have a professional-looking website. You can if you want to, but WordPress and a nicely designed premium theme can make you look great—without spending a lot of cash.
  • Navigation. Make sure your website is easy to get around. If people get lost, or are unable to locate the information they want quickly, they might just leave. We’re all such an impatient bunch!
  • Formatting. Make your website easy to scan. Did you catch that? Make your website easy to scan! It’s so important to include a lot of white space between blocks of text, to use headlines and sub-headings strategically, and to break things down into bulleted lists or sections. People love to scan.

Use a conversational tone

One of the best ways to show people the real person behind your brand and your website is to write your copy the way you talk in person (minus a few run on sentences, and plus some basic grammar and punctuation).

Using a conversational tone (read: no third person, no buzz words or jargon) is one of the quickest ways to build a connection. Your visitors want to feel like you’re talking directly to them.

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Don’t worry about trying to sound “big”. Small businesses are very popular these days, there’s no need to hide the actual size of your cozy little enterprise. If you’re the sole employee of your business, or even the boss among a small team, don’t shy away from using “me” instead of “we”. You don’t need to pretend to be larger than you are—in fact, it can actually backfire by making you sound less personal.

Make it all about them

You have to ditch the theory that your website is about you. It’s actually about your prospect. They aren’t interested in hearing about you; they are interested in hearing about how you can help them. That’s how you create the connection.

Talking about yourself is a big turnoff. You’re going to have to share details about who you are and what you do—but it’s essential that you do it in a way that focuses on your website visitors and makes them feel connected to you.

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For example:

All about you: I held positions in some of the most prestigious firms in Manhattan, where I gained loads of business experience and developed a very impressive portfolio.

All about them: I know you need someone who can perform under pressure and get things done. You don’t need yet another thing to worry about. Because of my experience working in some of the most prestigious and high-pressure firms in Manhattan, I’m equipped to push through stressful situations and get your job completed on time. I’ve been there, I’ve done that. No hand-holding necessary here.

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Find common ground

What do you and your website visitors have in common? In most cases, you meet at a very distinct and compelling point: your website visitors have a problem, and you have the solution.

What does your product or service accomplish for your customer? Do you sell a revolutionary diet program that helps people get healthy and fit in six months or less? Are you a personal accountant that reduces migraine-inducing stress for small business owners?

Reveal the solution you provide for your customers, and then use that to build a connection. Let your visitors know that you deeply understand the fear/anxiety/stress/whatever that their problem causes. After all, you’ve most likely experienced the same problem yourself before finding the solution. This common ground can help you build an instant and strong connection (it’s also the perfect time to let people in on how your product or service solves their issue—cha-ching!)

Money is almost always personal. It’s tied to all sorts of emotions, so it’s no wonder people don’t want to part with it unless they feel safe and confident. Building a connection is an essential step towards creating that confidence in your customers.

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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