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How To Be Confident And Get Over Uncertanties

How To Be Confident And Get Over Uncertanties

“Action is a greater restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all”

-Norman Vincent Peale

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What is the definition of confidence?

According to Merriam-Webster, confidence is “the quality or state of being certain.”

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When it comes to confidence, it will starts within you. You can’t possibly gain confidence from other outside influences. We all experience difficulties and hardship throughout the years. As Jim Rohn would say it, “The same wind blows on us all.” We all experience the same difficulties of life like paying for the bills, eating healthy and staying fit, reconnecting with our spouses and raising our children. What separates an insecure person from a confident person is how they handle each and every situation in their life. It’s the direction you take when a difficulty comes up. You can either travel backwards or travel forward towards the direction you want to go in. When you’re able to live in alignment with your deepest values and beliefs in life, your self confidence and inner being will be nourished.

I want to share with you 3  ways that you can be confident and get over any uncertainty in your life.

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1. Know your purpose in life.

Why are you living right now? When you know your purpose and the reason why you do what you do, you will be more confident and know that whatever difficulty and uncertainty you are experiencing is only temporary. When you understand what your purpose is, you will see each and every obstacle as a way of making you into a stronger individual. You will know that no matter what you experience, you have a purpose and you will make sure that you live out your purpose. What are the reasons why you do what you do? Maybe it’s for your family or creating stability and security in your life. Reflect on and understand your purpose in life. You will gain so much more confidence if you know why you’re here, and you’ll be able to move away from uncertainty and into confidence.

2. Know who you are.

With so many distractions in this world, we can easily get off track. We can be pulled in every direction other than the direction we want to go in. We can become easily influenced by the media or by friends and family. Because obstacles and difficulties arise, we need to better handle each and every situation. It all starts with knowing who you are. When you know who you are, you will be able to look at an obstacle as a way of you developing yourself rather than having a pity party. We all experience hardship in life. It’s all about how you handle situations and staying true to yourself. What makes you, YOU?

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3. Perspective.

You can have one of two perspectives about uncertainty. You can have a positive perspective or a negative perspective. The option of making this decision is all up to you. You can either allow uncertainty to take over your life and lack the inner strength and confidence to move forward, or you can learn from each and every situation you experience, and know that you’ll be a stronger person. You see, our mind can only hold one thought at a time. It can either be a negative thought or a positive thought. If you allow yourself to continue to think negative thoughts, ultimately, you will be negative and uncertainty will take over. When you are able to continue thinking positive thoughts and know that whatever you are currently experiencing is not permanent, you’ll be much more confident in your life.

Confidence is all about being certain in your life that no matter what you experience. Learn to be more confident, and you will have a fulfilling and rewarding life!

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Tiffany Mason

Tiffany is a life coach empowering women to unleash their feminine essence & design a meaningful life & marriage.

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Last Updated on October 14, 2020

The Art of Humble Confidence

The Art of Humble Confidence

To be confident or not to be confident, that is the question. I’m not sure about you, but I’ve been a bit confused about all this discussion about the subject of confidence. Do you really need to be more confident or should you try to be more humble? I think the answer is both – you just have to know where to use it.

East VS West – Confidence, It’s a Cultural Thing

In typical Western countries, the answer to the confidence debate is obvious – more is better. Our heros are rebellious, independent and shoot first, ask questions later. I think this snippet of dialog from The Matrix sums it up best:

Agent Smith – “We’re willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start. All that we’re asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice.”
Neo – “Yeah. Well, that sounds like a pretty good deal. But I think I may have a better one. How about, I give you the finger”
[He does]
Neo -“ …and you give me my phone call.”

In Eastern countries, the tone is often considerably different. Elders are supposed to be revered not dismissed. The words ‘guru,’ meaning a teacher, and the philosophy of dharma, loosely translated to mean ‘duty,’ come from here. In Eastern cultures humility and respect are more important than confidence.

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These perspectives are generalizations, but it shows how the confidence debate goes back deep into our culture. I think that both extremes of pure confidence or pure humility are misguided. Instead of rectifying this situation by simply blending the two: becoming somewhat humble, somewhat confident all the time, I believe the answer is to know when to be confident and when to be humble.

Humble Confidence – Know When to Use It

I’m going to make another broad generalization. I believe that virtually every relationship you are going to have is going to fit into one of two major archetypes, either master or student. In peer relationships this master/student role may switch frequently, but it is extremely rare that the relationship never leans to one side.

In the master role, you are displaying confidence to get what you want. This is public speaker, leader or seducer. Being the master has advantages. You have more control and ability to influence from this role.

The student role is the opposite. You are intentionally displaying humility. This is the student, disciple or follower. Being the student has advantages too. You can learn a lot more in this role and are more likely to win the trust of the other person.

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Know When to Shut Up and Learn

If you are a typical Westerner, you are probably already thinking about which role you prefer. Being the leader is great. You get respect and a higher status. Most of all you get a greater degree of control.

But the problem is that you can’t and shouldn’t always try to be the leader. Trying to assume that role without the skills, resources or status to back it up will lead to conflict. More importantly, there are many times when you purposely want to display humility. Some of the benefits to the student role include:

  • You learn more.
  • Smooths relationships.
  • Makes others more willing to lend a helping hand.

Knowing when taking the humble route is to your advantage. It is far easier to get mentors and advisors if you use humility rather than arrogance. A small sacrifice to your ego can open up the potential to learn a lot.

Confidence to Persuade, Humility to Learn

In reality almost no relationship is as clearly defined as master/student. Within our connections, people have overlapping areas of expertise. I might be an expert in blogging to a non-blogger, but they might be an expert in finance. In each area there are different roles to take.

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Before any interaction ask yourself what the purpose is. Are you trying to learn or persuade?

Persuasion requires confidence. If you are trying to sell, instruct or lead you need to display the confidence to match your message. But learning requires humility. You won’t learn anything if you are constantly arguing with your professors, mentors or employers. Taking a dose of humility and temporarily making yourself a student gives you the opportunity to absorb.

Persuade Less, Learn More

Persuasion is great for immediate effect, but learning matters over the long-haul. Instead of washing over all your communication with pure confidence, look for opportunities to learn. Persuading someone to follow you may give you an immediate boost of satisfaction, but it doesn’t last. Learning, however, is an investment for the future.

Whenever I make a connection with someone and realize they have a skill or understanding I want, I am careful to express humility in that area. That means listening with what they say even if I don’t immediately agree and being patient with their response. This method often drastically cuts down the time I need to spend on trial and error to learn by myself.

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Confidence/Humility Doesn’t Replace Communication Skills

This approach of selectively using confidence and humility for different purposes doesn’t replace communication skills. Humility isn’t going to work if the other person thinks you’re an irritating whiner. Confidence won’t work if the entire room thinks you are an arrogant jerk. Knowing how to display these two qualities takes practice.

The next time you are about to enter into an interaction ask yourself why you are doing it. Are you trying to persuade or learn? Depending on which you can take a completely different tact for far better results.

Featured photo credit: BBH Singapore via unsplash.com

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