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How To Be Confident And Get Over Uncertanties

How To Be Confident And Get Over Uncertanties

“Action is a greater restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all”

-Norman Vincent Peale

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What is the definition of confidence?

According to Merriam-Webster, confidence is “the quality or state of being certain.”

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When it comes to confidence, it will starts within you. You can’t possibly gain confidence from other outside influences. We all experience difficulties and hardship throughout the years. As Jim Rohn would say it, “The same wind blows on us all.” We all experience the same difficulties of life like paying for the bills, eating healthy and staying fit, reconnecting with our spouses and raising our children. What separates an insecure person from a confident person is how they handle each and every situation in their life. It’s the direction you take when a difficulty comes up. You can either travel backwards or travel forward towards the direction you want to go in. When you’re able to live in alignment with your deepest values and beliefs in life, your self confidence and inner being will be nourished.

I want to share with you 3  ways that you can be confident and get over any uncertainty in your life.

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1. Know your purpose in life.

Why are you living right now? When you know your purpose and the reason why you do what you do, you will be more confident and know that whatever difficulty and uncertainty you are experiencing is only temporary. When you understand what your purpose is, you will see each and every obstacle as a way of making you into a stronger individual. You will know that no matter what you experience, you have a purpose and you will make sure that you live out your purpose. What are the reasons why you do what you do? Maybe it’s for your family or creating stability and security in your life. Reflect on and understand your purpose in life. You will gain so much more confidence if you know why you’re here, and you’ll be able to move away from uncertainty and into confidence.

2. Know who you are.

With so many distractions in this world, we can easily get off track. We can be pulled in every direction other than the direction we want to go in. We can become easily influenced by the media or by friends and family. Because obstacles and difficulties arise, we need to better handle each and every situation. It all starts with knowing who you are. When you know who you are, you will be able to look at an obstacle as a way of you developing yourself rather than having a pity party. We all experience hardship in life. It’s all about how you handle situations and staying true to yourself. What makes you, YOU?

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3. Perspective.

You can have one of two perspectives about uncertainty. You can have a positive perspective or a negative perspective. The option of making this decision is all up to you. You can either allow uncertainty to take over your life and lack the inner strength and confidence to move forward, or you can learn from each and every situation you experience, and know that you’ll be a stronger person. You see, our mind can only hold one thought at a time. It can either be a negative thought or a positive thought. If you allow yourself to continue to think negative thoughts, ultimately, you will be negative and uncertainty will take over. When you are able to continue thinking positive thoughts and know that whatever you are currently experiencing is not permanent, you’ll be much more confident in your life.

Confidence is all about being certain in your life that no matter what you experience. Learn to be more confident, and you will have a fulfilling and rewarding life!

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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