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How to Find Self-Acceptance By Mastering These 8 Ego-Destroying Tips

How to Find Self-Acceptance By Mastering These 8 Ego-Destroying Tips

Our ancestors had a one-size-fits-all approach to solving their problems. If someone were different, they would kill them. If someone were sickly or weak, they would kill them. Even the people who were exiled were hunted down and killed sooner or later.

Today it is a little barbaric to go around and just kill people. Sadly, we still do it. Only now, instead of a hatchet we use our massive egos to kill the things that we are most threatened by. The ego thrives on fear and keeps us in a primal, fight-or-flight state. In this state, we behave like wild animals. Unfortunately, we can never fully destroy the ego. The only thing that we can do is tame it through social domestication and training. Here are eight ways to achieve this:

1. You can begin the process of ego destroying by accepting the primordial parts of the self.

There are certain behaviors that are embedded in all humans. Many of these behaviors are needed for our survival. However, when a behavior becomes instinctual, it is virtually impossible to control. Through the years we have worked to control the ego through a social domestication process. So, much like a dog or cat, our genetic code has been altered. It has been socially neutered to stop the procreation of anything that is inherently harmful.

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2. Human domestication is part of the ego-destroying process.

The human domestication process was intended to weed out all of your bad traits. It was suppose to work as a process to tame your primal instincts and wild nature. It was a means of giving the ego self-restraint. So, when it starts to bark or bite, you can just place a muzzle over it and pretend it doesn’t exist.

However, this kind of behavior has resulted in suppression. This causes the ego to become much stronger. Then the ego will start to act out by defecating on the living room floor, leaving you to reprimand it when it loses control. You need to train the ego to control itself. Besides, the whole point of being socially domesticated is to learn how to clean up your doo-doo. Sadly, if your ego doesn’t understand right from wrong, you’re probably going to be knee deep in it!

3. You can master the process of ego destroying by choosing not to be overly defensive.

So, what happens when someone smells it and calls you out on your stuff? You revert back to your primal instincts. You devolve into your natural, uncivilized state where all problems were fixed with one simple solution: Kill! If you feel threatened by someone’s ideas or presence, you have to kill. If you are sexually attracted to someone and the feeling is not reciprocated, you have to kill. If someone makes you feel weak, feeble, and insecure, you have to kill. Your ego wants to kill anyone and everyone who makes you feel bad. Suppression causes the ego to spiral out of control. Negative energy will always be released when presented with the right opportunity.

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4. You can master the process of ego destroying by accepting the fact that the ego is a part of you.

In fact, you need the ego to survive and grow. However, you have got to put the ego in its place. When you seek to suppress the ego, you suppress the most natural parts of who you are. You become less creative and spontaneous, and you just can’t relax and live in the moment. If you’re having problems with suppression, just let go. Go wild and learn how to live in the moment. You need to understand chaos theory and that creation stems from disorder.

5. You can master the process of ego destroying by surrendering control.

Your ego wants to turn you into a control freak. Control freaks are looking for pets, not friends. They want to tame people by keeping them on a short leash. After all, it is best to not let them wander too far. Egos want to surround themselves with people who will obey, sit at their feet, and love them unconditionally. Fortunately, people can never be pets. If you want to stop treating people like pets, learn to be a giver. Also, learn how to appreciate people’s shortcomings and mistakes. You need to learn how to use experiences as life lessons that will enable you to become a better person.

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6. You can master the process of ego destroying by training the ego to be less judgmental.

Sadly, control freaks have massive egos that cause them to be extremely judgmental. In fact, they only feel safe and comfortable when things are done their way. If you want to stop being controlling, ease up on the judgments. Start to accept everything and everyone as they are.

7.You can master the process of ego destroying by standing up to your ego when it acts like a bully.

Bullies are like the ill-reputed pit bull terrier. In many situations, they have been beaten and abused by their owners. Only, their owners in real life may be their parents, friends and relatives. Your ego will approach every confrontation like it is a dogfight. It will bare its teeth and mangle anyone who poses a threat. Sadly, the ego is riddled with fear. It is in a constant state of fight or flight, so it is no longer able to think rationally. It solves its problems much like a fighting dog: by biting off its opponents’ heads and rolling them out of the ring once they’re dead.

8. Your ego wants to be your best friend.

If you have anger issues, are impulsive, short tempered, have a lot of regrets, and treat people badly, you can combat this problem by facing your fears. The ego thrives on fear. Behind fear is the feeling of vulnerability. However, we can only allow ourselves to be vulnerable when we feel safe and secure. If you have issues with your ego, you need to figure out what’s triggering you to go into fight-or-flight mode. If you’re constantly feeling threatened, ask yourself why. Then start to reprogram your mind by visualizing yourself in a safe and secure place.

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The ego is a primordial part of the self. Many behaviors that are associated with the ego are instinctual and thus difficult to control. Ego destroying may be virtually impossible; however, the ego can be tamed by mastering these eight life-changing tips.

Featured photo credit: Ego Destroying via dreamstime.com

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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