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Everybody Lies: 7 Wrong Things They’ve Told You About Life

Everybody Lies: 7 Wrong Things They’ve Told You About Life

There is no reason to deny the fact we all depend on society somehow and that our surroundings influence our thoughts and world views in general. As children, we believe everything our parents tell us. As pupils, we listen to our teachers. As students, we listen to our professors carefully, and we trust their knowledge and life experience. Certainly, they do not want to hurt us, and they do not want to lie. But the truth is that they do sometimes lie to us.

What do we have as a result? Disappointment. When young people suddenly find out that nothing they were told actually works, they feel lost, and they do not know what to do. It is high time to reveal seven common lies each of us heard about life. Do not they sound familiar to you?

You are good at everything you do

You must confess that it is always easier to tell a child he is great at something than to hurt him and say he is not. We do not want to offend anyone, and we think that it is bad to disappoint a young person and tell him the ugly truth when he is only 5 years old. Everyone believes that this kid will understand everything himself while growing up, and he will see for himself what is good and what is bad about him.

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So, we lie instead of supporting REAL talents and achievements. As a result, the child gets older and does not understand why his new friends at school do not agree with the fact he is a good artist, singer, mathematician, etc.

You should do everything perfectly!

Did your parents or teachers at school tell that you should do everything as perfectly as possible? Do it well, or do not do it at all! And you grow up with a strong belief you should be perfect; otherwise, you will not achieve anything. But there is no success without a failure! And there is nothing wrong with the fact you can’t find a job of your dream right after your graduation, or that your first piece of art did not get positive feedback from critics.

Marry before you are 30

Who says? Why do we all believe we should build a family before a definite moment? Will your life end if you do not have a husband or wife when you are 31 or 35? We all understand that everyone has his time for a marriage, but we feel guilty anyway, seeing all of our married friends around and listening to parents who can’t stop asking us “when.”

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It is difficult for some people to ignore a societal pressure. But remember: you do not owe anything to others around you, and you have your own time to build a family. And who knows, maybe a marriage is just not for you? Yes, it happens. And there is nothing wrong with that!

Only the right college will help you succeed

Do you still believe that? There are many examples of bright and successful people who did not graduate from universities at all! Do not be narrow-minded! Give yourself more credit in life: go to a college YOU (not your parents or teachers) like, try yourself in different spheres and environments. You can find your path anywhere, not only in a prestigious college, though education and being a college student are important part of course.

You will not get a good job without education

As we’ve already said, education is important. And certainly, the majority of employers will pay attention to your diploma. But the truth is that they do not need students who did nothing but show up for class for four years.

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The most valuable things are often learned outside of your classroom. That is why your degree means nothing without any other skills and experience you could get.

The first job means everything for your future career

Students are often told that their first job will define their careers, so they sit and wait for the perfect moment or hope to find the right job right away. Do not ignore any experience you can get, even if it does not fit your diploma! Even if you work as a waiter when you have a degree in IT, this job can bring you new knowledge and experience that can unexpectedly help you with searching for the job of your dreams.

You will earn much more than your parents

I do not know why, but many young people believe they will become rich and successful once they leave parents’ home and start working. At the same time, they have no idea what their parents actually do, and how they earn money for living. Such an impression is that money will just appear from nowhere.

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It is nonsense to suppose that you will get everything at once, while your parents needed 20 years to achieve that. To get something means to work hard on it, spend much time and energy on it, and even fail sometimes.

Just build your own path, and try to follow your own thoughts and views. There is no need to continue believing postulates that do not work for everyone today.

 

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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