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Discover 15 Reasons Why An Argument Could Help Your Relationship

Discover 15 Reasons Why An Argument Could Help Your Relationship

Maybe you do not relish the thought of having an argument with your partner because you know that it can leave some nasty fallout. But is this really the case? Arguments can serve a useful purpose, so if you are ready for one, check out these 15 reasons first!

1. You’ll know what your partner really thinks

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    After an argument, you know what views your significant other has and this is going to help with total transparency. Nobody wants a partner whose dark or hidden side is a mystery. It will be therapeutic in helping each other to reveal your real selves.

    2. You’ll be able to clear the air

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      You know when a storm is brewing. Dark clouds form and the air becomes rather heavy. You wish it would rain. After the storm, the air is fresher and cleaner. An argument is rather like that. It helps to clear up some issues which have been smouldering away. Now that you have discussed it passionately, it will be time to move on.

      3. You’ll be able to set standards for arguing

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        People argue in different ways. Some people shout and get really angry. Others tend to sulk or try long silences which are not really effective. You really need to have an argument about arguing! In this way, you can set boundaries and agree that an argument is perfectly all right but you need to agree on the limits. You will both agree that expressing feelings is allowed so long as it does not degenerate into insults. You will also agree that there should be no name-calling.

        4. You’ll be reassured

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          Strange as it may seem, an argument could be a sign that you are both deeply committed to each other. The other end of the spectrum is the partner who keeps his or head down knowing that it does not really matter. That is a sign of indifference.

          5. You’ll feel more respected

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            This will be a reciprocal feeling. You will feel that your views are now clear and that your partner respects them. Arguments can be extremely toxic when there is no respect at all on either side. If these continue, they usually spell the end of the relationship.

            6. You’ll learn to accept other points of view

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              One great thing about arguing is that you can agree to differ. You do not need to always be right. Too many arguments end up in a match where scoring points seems to take precedence over reaching a compromise or just recognizing that your views are different. This does not invalidate either of you as a person.

              7. You’ll know when is a good time

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                Choosing the time and even the place you have an argument is important. It respects the fact that your partner may be too tired or that the presence for kids or friends make the argument an inappropriate and fruitless exercise.

                8. You’ll know that arguments can be constructive

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                  Most people associate quarrels with being angry, destructive and abusive. This is certainly the fast track to a divorce. But one Indian survey has shown that 44% of couples interviewed felt that arguing constructively really did help them to have a less stressful relationship and was an important element in helping the relationship to last.

                  9. You’ll know which issues are likely to cause friction

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                    It is always good to discuss things like parenting styles, finances, and eating habits so that countless quarrels do not take place. By doing this, you will be able to work out what works best and where you can compromise.

                    10. You’ll know how to stay on topic

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                      In order for arguments or disagreeing well to function, you will have to make sure that you stay on topic instead of going over old sores. If you find your partner doing this, it is a good idea to remind her or him of the rules you have established. Going off on tangents usually means you both get lost in the jungle.

                      11. You’ll learn more about yourselves

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                        When you have an argument, you might find yourself surprised that this has become an issue. This is a great way to turn the spotlight on yourself rather than your partner. You suddenly start to think about why this issue has become a fixation or obsession. This can be revealing and is another good reason why arguing can help a couple stay together.

                        12. You’ll both have better health

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                          The health benefits to be derived from constructive arguments are well known. A research project carried out at the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan found that couples who did no bickering at all were subject to higher levels of the cortisol hormone. Too much of this hormone increases blood-sugar levels and blood pressure and reduces immunity.

                          13. You’ll be a role model for your kids

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                            How many of us remember the awful rows our parents had with recriminations, accusations, and insults flying around like angry missiles? They never learned to disagree without being disagreeable and unpleasant. It was not exactly a role model. But if you have learned lessons from that and have been able to have constructive arguments with your spouse, then you are providing a great role model for your kids. That unhappy chain has been broken.

                            14. You’ll treasure the gift of communication

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                              Relationships need communication to survive. Having an argument that is not a fight, but that provides a solution, will convince you of the great value of communication. Learning to listen and to communicate will be the best gift you can give each other. This is the main message in the excellent book by Susan Quilliam called Stop Arguing, Start Talking: The 10 Point Plan for Couples in Conflict.

                              15. You’ll forget about getting revenge

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                                Having a friendly fight means that negative thoughts like getting revenge or denying your partner sex or affection will be reduced to a minimum. You are also less likely to start brooding and becoming moody and worst of all sullen and sulky. Now, before you have that argument with your partner, make sure she or he reads this post first!

                                Featured photo credit: Discussion/Lucian Lanteri via flickr.com

                                More by this author

                                Robert Locke

                                Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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                                Last Updated on April 11, 2019

                                How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

                                How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

                                Possessing strong communication skills will help you in every phase of your life. This is especially true in the workplace.

                                I have personally worked with several leaders who were masters of communication. A few were wonderful speakers who could tell a great story and get everyone in the room engaged. Those of us in attendance would walk away feeling inspired and eager to help with what came next. Others were very skilled at sharing a clear direction and job expectations.

                                I knew exactly what was expected of me and how to achieve my goals. This was the foundation of an energized and vibrant role I was in. What I have found is strong communication skills are incredibly helpful and sometimes critical in how well we perform at work.

                                Here we will take a look at how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

                                How Communication Skills Help Your Success

                                Strong communication skills pave the way for success in many ways. Let’s look at a few of the big ones.

                                Create a Positive Experience

                                Here are two examples of how well developed communication skills helps create a positive experience:

                                When I first moved to the city I now live in, I began a job search. Prior to my first live interview, I was told an address to go to. Upon arriving at the address provided, I drove around and around attempting to find the location. After 15 minutes of circling and looking for the address, I finally grabbed a parking spot and set out on foot.

                                What I discovered was the address was actually down an alley and only had the number over the door. No sign for the actual company. The person that gave me those very unclear directions provided a bad experience for me.

                                Had they communicated the directions to get there in a clear manner, my experience would have been much better. Instead the entire experience started off poorly and colored the entire meeting.

                                As a recruiter, I frequently provide potential candidates with information about a job I’m speaking to them about. In order to do this, I also provide a picture of the overall company, the group they might be joining, and how their role fits in and impacts the entire company.

                                Time and time again I have been told by candidates that I have provided the clearest picture of a company and role they have ever heard. They have a positive experience when I clearly communicate to them. Even when the position does not work out for them, often times they will want to stay in touch with me due to the open communication and beneficial experience they had during the interviewing process.

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                                Strong communication skills will provide a positive experience in virtually any interaction you have with someone.

                                Help Leadership Skills

                                It’s certainly a skill all its own to be able to lead others.

                                Being a mentor and guiding others towards success is a major hallmark of great leaders. Another characteristic of effective leaders is the ability to communicate clearly.

                                As I referenced above, having a leader who can plainly articulate the company’s mission and direction goes a really long way towards being the Captain of the boat that others want to follow. It’s like saying “here’s our destination and this is how we are going to get there” in a way that everyone can get on board with.

                                Another critical component of everyone helping to sail the boat in the right direction is knowing what your portion is all about. How are you helping the boat move towards its destination in the manner than is consistent with the leaders’ vision?

                                If you have a boss or a manager that can show you what it takes for not only you to be successful, but also how your performance helps the company’s success then you’ve got a winner. A boss with superior communication skills.

                                Build Better Teams

                                Most of us work in teams of some sort or another. During the course of my career, I have led teams up to 80 and also been an individual contributor.

                                In my individual contributor roles, I have been part of a larger team. Even if you are in business for yourself, you have to interact with others in one manner or another.

                                If you have strong communication skills, it helps to build better teams. This is true whether you are in an IT department with 100 other fellow programmers or if you own your own business and have customers or vendors you communicate with.

                                When you showcase your robust ability to communicate well with others while interacting with them, you are building a better team.

                                Now let’s jump in to how to improve communication skills to help you pave the way for your workplace success.

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                                How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

                                There are many tips, tricks, and techniques to improve communication skills. I don’t want to overwhelm you with too much information, so let’s focus on the things that will provide the biggest return on your time investment.

                                Most of these tips will be fairly easy to become aware of but will take time and effort to implement. So let’s go!

                                1. Listen

                                Ever heard the saying you have two ears and one mouth for a reason? If you haven’t, then here’s the reason:

                                Being a good listener is half the equation to being a good communicator.

                                People who have the ability to really listen to someone can then actually answer questions in a meaningful way. If you don’t make the effort to actively listen, then you are really doing yourself and the other person a disservice in the communication department.

                                Know that person who is chomping at the bit to open his or her mouth the second you stop talking? Don’t be that person. They haven’t listened to at least 1/2 of what you’ve said. Therefore the words that spill out of their mouth are going to be about 1/2 relevant to what you just said.

                                Listen to someone completely and be comfortable with short periods of silence. Work on your listening skills first and foremost.

                                2. Know Your Audience

                                Knowing your audience is another critical component to having strong communication skills. The way you interact with your manager should be different than how you interact with your kids. This isn’t to say you need to be a different person with everyone you interact with. Far from it.

                                Here is a good way to think about it:

                                Imagine using your the same choice of words and body language you use with your spouse while interacting with your boss. That puts things in a graphic light!

                                You want to ensure you are using the type of communication most relevant to your audience.

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                                3. Minimize

                                I have lunch with a business associate about 3 times a year. We’ve been talking for several years now about putting a business deal together.

                                He is one of those people that simply overwhelms others with a lot of words. Sometimes when I ask him a question, I get buried beneath such an avalanche of words that I’m more confused than when I asked the question. Needless to say this is most likely a large portion of why we never put the deal together.

                                Don’t be like my lunch business associate. The goal of talking to or communicating with someone is to share actual information. The goal is not to confuse someone, it’s to provide clarity in many cases.

                                State what needs to be stated as succinctly as possible. That doesn’t mean you can’t have some pleasant conversation about the weather too.

                                The point is to not create such an onslaught of words and information that the other person walks away more confused than when they started.

                                4. Over Communicate

                                So this probably sounds completely counter intuitive to what I just wrote about minimizing your communication. It seems like it might be but it’s not.

                                What I mean by over communicating is ensuring that the other person understands the important parts of what you are sharing with them. This can be done simply yet effectively. Here’s a good example:

                                Most companies have open enrollment for benefits for the employees in the fall. The company I work for has open enrollment from November 1 to 15. The benefits department will send out a communication to all employees around October 1st, letting them know open enrollment is right around the corner and any major changes that year. There’s also a phone number and email for people to contact them with any questions.

                                Two weeks later, we all get a follow up email with basically the same information. We get a 3rd communication the week before open enrollment and another one 1 day before it starts.

                                Finally we get 2 emails during enrollment reminding us when open enrollment ends.

                                There’s minimal information, it’s more of a reminder. This is effective over communication.

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                                5. Body Language

                                The final critical component to how to improve communication skills for workplace success is body language. This is something most of us have heard about before but, a reminder is probably a good idea.

                                When I am in a meeting with someone I am comfortable with, I tend to kind of slouch down in my chair and cross my arms. When I catch myself doing this, I sit up straight and uncross my arms. I remember that crossing arms can many times be interpreted as a sign of disagreement or conflict.

                                In general, the best rule of thumb is to work towards having open body language whenever possible at work. This means relaxing your posture, not crossing your arms, and looking people in the eye when speaking with them.

                                When you are speaking in front of others, stand up straight and speak in a clear voice. This will convey confidence in your words.

                                Conclusion

                                Possessing strong communication skills will help you in many facets of your life and most certainly in the workplace.

                                Good communication helps create better teams, positive experiences with those we interact with, and are critical for leadership.

                                There are numerous tactics and techniques to be used to improve communication skills. Here we’ve reviewed how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

                                Now go communicate your way to success.

                                More Resources About Effective Communication

                                Featured photo credit: HIVAN ARVIZU via unsplash.com

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