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Discover 15 Reasons Why An Argument Could Help Your Relationship

Discover 15 Reasons Why An Argument Could Help Your Relationship

Maybe you do not relish the thought of having an argument with your partner because you know that it can leave some nasty fallout. But is this really the case? Arguments can serve a useful purpose, so if you are ready for one, check out these 15 reasons first!

1. You’ll know what your partner really thinks

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    After an argument, you know what views your significant other has and this is going to help with total transparency. Nobody wants a partner whose dark or hidden side is a mystery. It will be therapeutic in helping each other to reveal your real selves.

    2. You’ll be able to clear the air

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      You know when a storm is brewing. Dark clouds form and the air becomes rather heavy. You wish it would rain. After the storm, the air is fresher and cleaner. An argument is rather like that. It helps to clear up some issues which have been smouldering away. Now that you have discussed it passionately, it will be time to move on.

      3. You’ll be able to set standards for arguing

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        People argue in different ways. Some people shout and get really angry. Others tend to sulk or try long silences which are not really effective. You really need to have an argument about arguing! In this way, you can set boundaries and agree that an argument is perfectly all right but you need to agree on the limits. You will both agree that expressing feelings is allowed so long as it does not degenerate into insults. You will also agree that there should be no name-calling.

        4. You’ll be reassured

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          Strange as it may seem, an argument could be a sign that you are both deeply committed to each other. The other end of the spectrum is the partner who keeps his or head down knowing that it does not really matter. That is a sign of indifference.

          5. You’ll feel more respected

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            This will be a reciprocal feeling. You will feel that your views are now clear and that your partner respects them. Arguments can be extremely toxic when there is no respect at all on either side. If these continue, they usually spell the end of the relationship.

            6. You’ll learn to accept other points of view

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              One great thing about arguing is that you can agree to differ. You do not need to always be right. Too many arguments end up in a match where scoring points seems to take precedence over reaching a compromise or just recognizing that your views are different. This does not invalidate either of you as a person.

              7. You’ll know when is a good time

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                Choosing the time and even the place you have an argument is important. It respects the fact that your partner may be too tired or that the presence for kids or friends make the argument an inappropriate and fruitless exercise.

                8. You’ll know that arguments can be constructive

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                  Most people associate quarrels with being angry, destructive and abusive. This is certainly the fast track to a divorce. But one Indian survey has shown that 44% of couples interviewed felt that arguing constructively really did help them to have a less stressful relationship and was an important element in helping the relationship to last.

                  9. You’ll know which issues are likely to cause friction

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                    It is always good to discuss things like parenting styles, finances, and eating habits so that countless quarrels do not take place. By doing this, you will be able to work out what works best and where you can compromise.

                    10. You’ll know how to stay on topic

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                      In order for arguments or disagreeing well to function, you will have to make sure that you stay on topic instead of going over old sores. If you find your partner doing this, it is a good idea to remind her or him of the rules you have established. Going off on tangents usually means you both get lost in the jungle.

                      11. You’ll learn more about yourselves

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                        When you have an argument, you might find yourself surprised that this has become an issue. This is a great way to turn the spotlight on yourself rather than your partner. You suddenly start to think about why this issue has become a fixation or obsession. This can be revealing and is another good reason why arguing can help a couple stay together.

                        12. You’ll both have better health

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                          The health benefits to be derived from constructive arguments are well known. A research project carried out at the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan found that couples who did no bickering at all were subject to higher levels of the cortisol hormone. Too much of this hormone increases blood-sugar levels and blood pressure and reduces immunity.

                          13. You’ll be a role model for your kids

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                            How many of us remember the awful rows our parents had with recriminations, accusations, and insults flying around like angry missiles? They never learned to disagree without being disagreeable and unpleasant. It was not exactly a role model. But if you have learned lessons from that and have been able to have constructive arguments with your spouse, then you are providing a great role model for your kids. That unhappy chain has been broken.

                            14. You’ll treasure the gift of communication

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                              Relationships need communication to survive. Having an argument that is not a fight, but that provides a solution, will convince you of the great value of communication. Learning to listen and to communicate will be the best gift you can give each other. This is the main message in the excellent book by Susan Quilliam called Stop Arguing, Start Talking: The 10 Point Plan for Couples in Conflict.

                              15. You’ll forget about getting revenge

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                                Having a friendly fight means that negative thoughts like getting revenge or denying your partner sex or affection will be reduced to a minimum. You are also less likely to start brooding and becoming moody and worst of all sullen and sulky. Now, before you have that argument with your partner, make sure she or he reads this post first!

                                Featured photo credit: Discussion/Lucian Lanteri via flickr.com

                                More by this author

                                Robert Locke

                                Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

                                Work Smarter, Not Harder: 12 Ways to Work Smart 10 Reasons Why People Are Unmotivated (And How to Be Motivated) 12 Secrets To a Super Productive Meeting You Should Know What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It 10 Simple Morning Exercises That Will Make You Feel Great All Day

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                                Last Updated on December 10, 2019

                                5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

                                5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

                                Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

                                Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

                                But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

                                Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

                                But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

                                Journal writing.

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                                Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

                                Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

                                Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

                                1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

                                By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

                                Consider this:

                                Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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                                But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

                                The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

                                2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

                                If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

                                How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

                                Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

                                You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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                                3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

                                As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

                                Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

                                All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

                                4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

                                Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

                                Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

                                The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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                                5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

                                The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

                                It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

                                Kickstart Journaling

                                How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

                                Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

                                Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

                                Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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