Advertising
Advertising

Discover 15 Reasons Why An Argument Could Help Your Relationship

Discover 15 Reasons Why An Argument Could Help Your Relationship

Maybe you do not relish the thought of having an argument with your partner because you know that it can leave some nasty fallout. But is this really the case? Arguments can serve a useful purpose, so if you are ready for one, check out these 15 reasons first!

1. You’ll know what your partner really thinks

arguing11

    After an argument, you know what views your significant other has and this is going to help with total transparency. Nobody wants a partner whose dark or hidden side is a mystery. It will be therapeutic in helping each other to reveal your real selves.

    2. You’ll be able to clear the air

    arguing6

      You know when a storm is brewing. Dark clouds form and the air becomes rather heavy. You wish it would rain. After the storm, the air is fresher and cleaner. An argument is rather like that. It helps to clear up some issues which have been smouldering away. Now that you have discussed it passionately, it will be time to move on.

      3. You’ll be able to set standards for arguing

      Advertising

      arguing5

        People argue in different ways. Some people shout and get really angry. Others tend to sulk or try long silences which are not really effective. You really need to have an argument about arguing! In this way, you can set boundaries and agree that an argument is perfectly all right but you need to agree on the limits. You will both agree that expressing feelings is allowed so long as it does not degenerate into insults. You will also agree that there should be no name-calling.

        4. You’ll be reassured

        arguing8

          Strange as it may seem, an argument could be a sign that you are both deeply committed to each other. The other end of the spectrum is the partner who keeps his or head down knowing that it does not really matter. That is a sign of indifference.

          5. You’ll feel more respected

          arguing13

            This will be a reciprocal feeling. You will feel that your views are now clear and that your partner respects them. Arguments can be extremely toxic when there is no respect at all on either side. If these continue, they usually spell the end of the relationship.

            6. You’ll learn to accept other points of view

            Advertising

            loversquarrel

              One great thing about arguing is that you can agree to differ. You do not need to always be right. Too many arguments end up in a match where scoring points seems to take precedence over reaching a compromise or just recognizing that your views are different. This does not invalidate either of you as a person.

              7. You’ll know when is a good time

              arguing9

                Choosing the time and even the place you have an argument is important. It respects the fact that your partner may be too tired or that the presence for kids or friends make the argument an inappropriate and fruitless exercise.

                8. You’ll know that arguments can be constructive

                arguing10

                  Most people associate quarrels with being angry, destructive and abusive. This is certainly the fast track to a divorce. But one Indian survey has shown that 44% of couples interviewed felt that arguing constructively really did help them to have a less stressful relationship and was an important element in helping the relationship to last.

                  9. You’ll know which issues are likely to cause friction

                  Advertising

                  arguing4

                    It is always good to discuss things like parenting styles, finances, and eating habits so that countless quarrels do not take place. By doing this, you will be able to work out what works best and where you can compromise.

                    10. You’ll know how to stay on topic

                    arguing3

                      In order for arguments or disagreeing well to function, you will have to make sure that you stay on topic instead of going over old sores. If you find your partner doing this, it is a good idea to remind her or him of the rules you have established. Going off on tangents usually means you both get lost in the jungle.

                      11. You’ll learn more about yourselves

                      arguing1

                        When you have an argument, you might find yourself surprised that this has become an issue. This is a great way to turn the spotlight on yourself rather than your partner. You suddenly start to think about why this issue has become a fixation or obsession. This can be revealing and is another good reason why arguing can help a couple stay together.

                        12. You’ll both have better health

                        Advertising

                        arguing7

                          The health benefits to be derived from constructive arguments are well known. A research project carried out at the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan found that couples who did no bickering at all were subject to higher levels of the cortisol hormone. Too much of this hormone increases blood-sugar levels and blood pressure and reduces immunity.

                          13. You’ll be a role model for your kids

                          couples number6

                            How many of us remember the awful rows our parents had with recriminations, accusations, and insults flying around like angry missiles? They never learned to disagree without being disagreeable and unpleasant. It was not exactly a role model. But if you have learned lessons from that and have been able to have constructive arguments with your spouse, then you are providing a great role model for your kids. That unhappy chain has been broken.

                            14. You’ll treasure the gift of communication

                            arguing12

                              Relationships need communication to survive. Having an argument that is not a fight, but that provides a solution, will convince you of the great value of communication. Learning to listen and to communicate will be the best gift you can give each other. This is the main message in the excellent book by Susan Quilliam called Stop Arguing, Start Talking: The 10 Point Plan for Couples in Conflict.

                              15. You’ll forget about getting revenge

                              Quarrel between men and women

                                Having a friendly fight means that negative thoughts like getting revenge or denying your partner sex or affection will be reduced to a minimum. You are also less likely to start brooding and becoming moody and worst of all sullen and sulky. Now, before you have that argument with your partner, make sure she or he reads this post first!

                                Featured photo credit: Discussion/Lucian Lanteri via flickr.com

                                More by this author

                                Robert Locke

                                Freelance writer

                                12 Secrets To a Super Productive Meeting You Should Know 10 Simple Morning Exercises That Will Make You Feel Great All Day 40 Powerful Productivity Quotes From Highly Successful People 10 Toxic Persons You Should Just Get Rid Of 10 Reasons Why People Are Unmotivated (And Ways to Be Motivated)

                                Trending in Communication

                                115 Signs You’re an Old Soul and Think Differently 227 Ways to Instantly Feel Better When You’re Down 3How To Ask A Girl Out And Get A Yes (Almost) Every Time 460 Things To Be Thankful For In Life 5What To Do When You Have No Friends

                                Read Next

                                Advertising
                                Advertising

                                Last Updated on August 21, 2018

                                15 Signs You’re an Old Soul and Think Differently

                                15 Signs You’re an Old Soul and Think Differently

                                If you’ve often felt slightly removed from the worries of today and miss the simplistic life of a time gone by, or somehow feel a little out of sync with what your peers are concerned with, there’s a chance you may be an old soul.

                                Being an old soul refers to how you view and approach life.

                                Your views echo those of someone much older than you, who has lived a long and fruitful life. You approach life with a greater sense of knowledge and wisdom coupled with a greater sense of inner wealth.

                                If you’ve ever met an exasperated 10 year old saying, “Kids today are so…”, or a 28 year old who says, “In my day…”, an awful lot, chances are you’re in the presence of a beautiful old soul. They’re often perplexed, and unable to relate to the things people their own age consider fun, or important, and so feel out of place.

                                They look at life through a vignette of experiences they may not have lived, yet, but somehow, just seem to know.

                                So if you’ve ever felt like you’ve lived before, and you have a wealth of wisdom you can’t explain, chances are you have been reincarnated—

                                —or maybe, you’re just an old soul!

                                Here are some tell-tale signs to help you find out if you’re an old soul.

                                1. You know there’s another way to do things.

                                You often say things like, “I have a feeling this will work”, or “there’s no harm in trying.” People may view your suggestions as outdated or done, but you know that sometimes, just sometimes, the tried and tested ways of doing things are best. Hey, if it ain’t broke…

                                You feel that not all problems require a new and innovative solution, and going round in circles when the answer may be staring you in the face is usually a waste of valuable time, and energy.

                                Advertising

                                You have no problem trying out new things, but know, too, that oldies can also be goodies.

                                2. You give advice well beyond your years.

                                You somehow seem to know how to do things you haven’t even done yourself yet. It’s like you’ve lived before, and just know how it all works. People often look at you with that “how do you know?” expression, and you respond with a confident, “I just know!”

                                Truth is, you do just know, but don’t know how you know. Those people who come to you for advice, though somewhat freaked out by your amazing prophetic powers to impressively offer solutions and predict outcomes, trust you wholeheartedly and don’t doubt your authenticity.

                                3. You like to think things through.

                                Even the most impatient of people will need to think things through if they are an old soul at heart. You need that time to maul it over in your head.

                                It’s an important part of your to-do process, and it enables you to move forward in the direction most in sync with your mind, body and soul.

                                To you, not being able to think things through, even a little, leaves you feeling uneasy, and that does nothing to help.

                                4. You don’t waste time asking why.

                                After you’ve thought things through, you move ahead, confident in the knowledge that you’ve done all you needed to do to get going.

                                You don’t waste time in trying to justify it to yourself or anyone else. You have little time and patience for the nonsensical and would prefer to utilize your time getting things done, rather than sitting around talking about getting things done.

                                In the end, you understand that whatever you do, you trust that all things work out just as they are supposed to, and you don’t want to question that wonderful process.

                                5. You don’t like to go out just for the sake of going out.

                                It’s quality over quantity for you. You love to go out and have fun, but going out because others feel it is required, or you look boring if you don’t, holds no merit for you.

                                Advertising

                                When you go out, you’d like to experience something; something that resonates with your way of perceiving the world and challenges you.

                                You’ll happily spend money on those things that give you wonderful experiences and broaden your horizons. Going out just because, seems pointless to you; you’d rather save your time, and money, and do something of quality.

                                6. You have an appreciation for old literature.

                                You respect the classics. You’re often found getting euphorically high off old books. You’ve probably sniffed a good few old books in your time, and you don’t care who sees.

                                For you, old literature should be respected and valued; they hold history and historical experience between their pages and deserve to be exalted.

                                7. You have old ears.

                                You love and appreciate the classics and have a longing for the musicality of those nostalgic tunes. Your record (that’s right, record!) collection looks like a retro music store. Probably only 10% of your collection consists of what you refer to as “nowadays” music, the rest are from decades gone by.

                                You know only a handful of today’s artists, and that’s only because you haven’t heard an album yet to rival your favorite Grateful Dead album, or your favorite Frank Sinatra track.

                                You don’t go out of your way to avoid modern music, it just doesn’t seem to whet your appetite. So you’ll happily pump your beloved Janis Joplin or Nat King Cole all the way home. Heaven!

                                8. You see no need in being unnecessarily stressed.

                                You don’t invite drama just because it makes you feel alive, no, you’d much prefer to live without it.

                                You appreciate the quiet, and invite peace. It’s become apparent to you that the world views stress and busyness as being productive.

                                But you know that being productive has nothing to do with being crazy busy or stressed, but everything to do with how well you utilize your time.

                                Advertising

                                So you’re mindful about what you spend your hours doing, and make sure your doing something worthwhile, and not just keeping busy for busy sake.

                                9. You love to meet new people.

                                To you, talking to people is enriching and adds to your experience of the world. This isn’t because you just can’t help chit chatting, but more so because you are genuinely fascinated by those you share this planet with, who can offer different perspectives.

                                You love being able to swap stories with people you’ve only just met. Plus, it also serves to make those trips to the bank all the more interesting!

                                10. You value deep connections.

                                For you, it’s all about quality over quantity. You require a deeper connection with those around you in order to feel any connection at all.

                                Half-hearted friendships, surface-level relationships and fly-by-night hook-ups are not your thing. You value the essence of deeper friendships and long lasting relationships, as you give yourself wholly to them, too.

                                11. You love learning.

                                Nothing gets you going more than learning more about yourself, other people and the world around you.

                                For you learning is growth, and growth is part of life. As an old soul, you approach learning from the understanding that it doesn’t have to lead anywhere, for example, a degree or certificate.

                                Sure, those things are great and offer a sense of accomplishment, but for you it’s the act of learning something new and wonderful that motivates you, not the initials after your name!

                                12. You don’t see the fuss about the latest craze.

                                Following others just to fit in? Where’s the fun in that? To you, being a style chaser or tech follower is something you can never quite get your head around.

                                Sure you may even own a Kindle or you may have an iPad, but now they sit there, gathering dust, because you miss the feel (and smell) or the real thing, and computer works just fine.

                                Advertising

                                You don’t really care whether you’re an early adopter or a late comer. None of the things defines you, and you’re okay with that.

                                13. You value the company of those much older than you.

                                You want to drink in their wisdom and you hang on their every word as they tell you stories of their youth. You laugh at their accounts of old trends, and cry at the war stories, you reminisce with them about long lost loves, and actually listen to their pearls of wisdom.

                                At a time when we seem to have less and less time for the more mature among us, the old soul has nothing but time to give. That’s because you appreciate what they have to share, and let’s be honest, you secretly wish for a time when life seemed so simple.

                                14. You are the epitome of calm.

                                You are the steadfast one, the one neither swayed, nor toppled, even in a crisis. You probably say things like, “Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast,” and tell people to “Get a grip!”

                                To everyone else, you appear disconnected, but to those who know you well, you’re actually hard at work, you just work differently.

                                You’ve learned that nothing actually gets done if everyone is running around losing their heads; someone needs to be the calm force. This is just how you make sense of what is happening.

                                You stop. Wait. Listen. Then decide what steps to take next.

                                15. You truly understand what it means to give.

                                To you, there’s no better way to live, than to give.

                                Giving your time, or money or those things you simply have no need for is the most rewarding thing anyone can do with their short time on earth. It isn’t an ego thing, far from it.

                                For you, giving is the purest act of love. Plus, you see no point in holding on to things you cant take with you, so you’re more than happy to travel light!

                                Featured photo credit: Portrait of fashionable well dressed man with beard posing outdoors looking away, confident and focused mature man in coat standing outside at sunny evening, elegant fashion model via shutterstock.com

                                Read Next