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Discover 15 Reasons Why An Argument Could Help Your Relationship

Discover 15 Reasons Why An Argument Could Help Your Relationship

Maybe you do not relish the thought of having an argument with your partner because you know that it can leave some nasty fallout. But is this really the case? Arguments can serve a useful purpose, so if you are ready for one, check out these 15 reasons first!

1. You’ll know what your partner really thinks

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    After an argument, you know what views your significant other has and this is going to help with total transparency. Nobody wants a partner whose dark or hidden side is a mystery. It will be therapeutic in helping each other to reveal your real selves.

    2. You’ll be able to clear the air

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      You know when a storm is brewing. Dark clouds form and the air becomes rather heavy. You wish it would rain. After the storm, the air is fresher and cleaner. An argument is rather like that. It helps to clear up some issues which have been smouldering away. Now that you have discussed it passionately, it will be time to move on.

      3. You’ll be able to set standards for arguing

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        People argue in different ways. Some people shout and get really angry. Others tend to sulk or try long silences which are not really effective. You really need to have an argument about arguing! In this way, you can set boundaries and agree that an argument is perfectly all right but you need to agree on the limits. You will both agree that expressing feelings is allowed so long as it does not degenerate into insults. You will also agree that there should be no name-calling.

        4. You’ll be reassured

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          Strange as it may seem, an argument could be a sign that you are both deeply committed to each other. The other end of the spectrum is the partner who keeps his or head down knowing that it does not really matter. That is a sign of indifference.

          5. You’ll feel more respected

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            This will be a reciprocal feeling. You will feel that your views are now clear and that your partner respects them. Arguments can be extremely toxic when there is no respect at all on either side. If these continue, they usually spell the end of the relationship.

            6. You’ll learn to accept other points of view

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              One great thing about arguing is that you can agree to differ. You do not need to always be right. Too many arguments end up in a match where scoring points seems to take precedence over reaching a compromise or just recognizing that your views are different. This does not invalidate either of you as a person.

              7. You’ll know when is a good time

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                Choosing the time and even the place you have an argument is important. It respects the fact that your partner may be too tired or that the presence for kids or friends make the argument an inappropriate and fruitless exercise.

                8. You’ll know that arguments can be constructive

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                  Most people associate quarrels with being angry, destructive and abusive. This is certainly the fast track to a divorce. But one Indian survey has shown that 44% of couples interviewed felt that arguing constructively really did help them to have a less stressful relationship and was an important element in helping the relationship to last.

                  9. You’ll know which issues are likely to cause friction

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                    It is always good to discuss things like parenting styles, finances, and eating habits so that countless quarrels do not take place. By doing this, you will be able to work out what works best and where you can compromise.

                    10. You’ll know how to stay on topic

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                      In order for arguments or disagreeing well to function, you will have to make sure that you stay on topic instead of going over old sores. If you find your partner doing this, it is a good idea to remind her or him of the rules you have established. Going off on tangents usually means you both get lost in the jungle.

                      11. You’ll learn more about yourselves

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                        When you have an argument, you might find yourself surprised that this has become an issue. This is a great way to turn the spotlight on yourself rather than your partner. You suddenly start to think about why this issue has become a fixation or obsession. This can be revealing and is another good reason why arguing can help a couple stay together.

                        12. You’ll both have better health

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                          The health benefits to be derived from constructive arguments are well known. A research project carried out at the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan found that couples who did no bickering at all were subject to higher levels of the cortisol hormone. Too much of this hormone increases blood-sugar levels and blood pressure and reduces immunity.

                          13. You’ll be a role model for your kids

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                            How many of us remember the awful rows our parents had with recriminations, accusations, and insults flying around like angry missiles? They never learned to disagree without being disagreeable and unpleasant. It was not exactly a role model. But if you have learned lessons from that and have been able to have constructive arguments with your spouse, then you are providing a great role model for your kids. That unhappy chain has been broken.

                            14. You’ll treasure the gift of communication

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                              Relationships need communication to survive. Having an argument that is not a fight, but that provides a solution, will convince you of the great value of communication. Learning to listen and to communicate will be the best gift you can give each other. This is the main message in the excellent book by Susan Quilliam called Stop Arguing, Start Talking: The 10 Point Plan for Couples in Conflict.

                              15. You’ll forget about getting revenge

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                                Having a friendly fight means that negative thoughts like getting revenge or denying your partner sex or affection will be reduced to a minimum. You are also less likely to start brooding and becoming moody and worst of all sullen and sulky. Now, before you have that argument with your partner, make sure she or he reads this post first!

                                Featured photo credit: Discussion/Lucian Lanteri via flickr.com

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                                Robert Locke

                                Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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                                Last Updated on December 2, 2018

                                7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

                                7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

                                When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

                                You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

                                1. Connecting them with each other

                                Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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                                It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

                                2. Connect with their emotions

                                Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

                                For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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                                3. Keep going back to the beginning

                                Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

                                On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

                                4. Link to your audience’s motivation

                                After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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                                Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

                                5. Entertain them

                                While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

                                Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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                                6. Appeal to loyalty

                                Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

                                In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

                                7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

                                Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

                                Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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