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Every Adult Should Recall Their Childhood and Learn from Themselves

Every Adult Should Recall Their Childhood and Learn from Themselves

You may have heard the quote “All grown-ups were once children…but only few of them remember it.” from The Little Prince before, but have you ever really stopped to reflect on it? Have you ever sat down to reminisce about your childhood, maybe even wish you were a child again? Here are some things you may have done as a child that you should still be doing as an adult.

1. You used to get so excited over things that you take for granted now. Do you even stop to appreciate how beautiful the rain is?

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    2 .Everything you did lacked inhibition. You would jump off slides, slide down a hill in a makeshift sled, and eat snow. When was the last time you did something without overthinking it?

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      3. You fought to do things you loved. Passion for life was bursting through your veins. 

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        4. The smallest good thing to happen was like Christmas day. Now it seems like the small good things go unnoticed.
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          5. Your birthday was an excuse to eat all the cake and chocolate you wanted. It was the most exciting day of the year. The day you were born still should be a day that brings you that much happiness. Celebrate yourself.

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            6. When somebody told you you couldn’t do something, you would go out of your way to prove them wrong. Maybe climbing that tree wasn’t the best idea, but the same principle should be applied to life now.

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              7. You would read anything and everything you could get your hands on. When was the last time you read something that wasn’t a to-do list?

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                8. You would eat anything as long as it was delicious. It’s okay to indulge in food that makes you happy, life is short.

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                  9. You would have big, boundless dreams. Remember that time you wanted to be a veterinarian by day and a secret spy by night?

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                    10. You believed in unicorns, Santa Claus, and miracles. They still exist, you just stopped believing.

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                      11. Cartoons were your favourite time of day. There was something special about laughing till you thought you’d be sick. Do you remember the last time you had a good laugh?

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                        12. You sang at the top of your lungs, not caring about what anybody thought. It was very entertaining then but could be very therapeutic now.

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                          13. You danced like no one was watching, letting go of all the things you were sad about.

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                            14. You used to sit back and admire pictures you just painted. When was the last time you appreciated something you did?

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                              15. You let the people you love know you love them countless times in one day. Life is short, the people you love should hear how much you love them every chance you get.

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                                16. Your only care was what was for dinner that night or when your next field trip was. Do you remember to slow down and not worry too much about the big things in life?

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                                  17. You loved dancing in the rain barefoot with no raincoat on. It didn’t even matter that you’d wake up sick the next day. The smell of rain on your skin was the best part.

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                                    18. You wore clothes that made you happy and let you run fast without caring about what people would say. Style used to be who you were, not what everyone else was doing.

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                                      19. You spun around in circles till the world felt like it was spinning out of control. Do you remember what it was like to let go and lose control?

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                                        20. But most of all you had time. Time for your friends. Time for enjoying activities you loved to do. Time for hobbies that are now long forgotten. You can still have that time, all you have to do is make it.

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                                          Last Updated on December 17, 2018

                                          Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

                                          Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

                                          Have you ever wanted to say something at work, but a little voice of doubt crept in and said, “what if you are wrong”?

                                          Maybe you wanted to apply for that promotion or ask that special someone on a date, but something kept you from taking action. When you think you’re not good enough, you tend to fear the outcome and lack faith in your abilities. That is why it is vital you discover how to believe in yourself so you can accomplish your goals and create your dream life.

                                          Whatever your situation, the fears and self-doubt your false beliefs create will always stop you in your tracks. Identifying the beliefs that cause you to sabotage your life is the first step to removing them.

                                          Self-doubt causes inaction, and inaction leads to regret. When you are not following your passion and living your dream life, you are left with a lot of questions:

                                          • What if I took a chance on myself?
                                          • Could I have had a better life if I took more risks?
                                          • Am I be satisfied with the legacy I am leaving behind?
                                          • What could I have accomplished if I did not settle for less?

                                          So why would you think you’re not good enough?

                                          1. Parenting

                                          The perception you have of yourself is based on your past experiences. There are studies that show children mimic everything from their parents ability to regulate emotions, to their parents belief about money.[1]

                                          I have had clients who did not believe they were good enough because they did not receive any positive reinforcement as a child. When they were young, their parents were extremely overprotective.

                                          Think of your childhood challenges like dragons you had to slay. Each obstacle you overcame was another dragon you successfully removed from your life. As you slay more dragons, your self-esteem and confidence increase. When someone has overprotective parents, their parents end up slaying the dragons.

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                                          As a result, the child builds more confidence in their parent’s abilities, while still doubting their own.

                                          If you are never encouraged to slay your own dragons, you start to doubt whether you can. It is only natural for a child to conclude their parents are always helping them because they think they need it. This child ages into an adult who still believes they are not good enough. They seek the help and confirmation of others, and they rarely stand-up to opposition.

                                          Solution: Slay Your Dragons!

                                          If you want to believe in yourself, you are going to have to take steps to rebuild your trust in yourself. Start by keeping your word to others and arriving on-time. By showing yourself that others can (and do) trust you, you are going to feel more comfortable trusting yourself.

                                          As you move onto larger and more challenging tasks, you have built a foundation of trust in your ability to keep your word. Next, you are going to want to reclaim your sword from others. At first, you may want to confide in whoever it is currently slaying your dragons.

                                          Understand if it is your parent or someone who loves you, they want the best for you and mean well. You are simply going to tell them that you want to do the work, and will ask them for their thoughts in the planning phase. Feel free to check in with them and give them updates on your progress, while making sure they understand you are wanting to do the work yourself.

                                          Then when the task is completed, let them know so you can celebrate together. Now that you have slayed your own dragon, you can start to reclaim your confidence. By you utilizing them as your guide, you get the added bonus of someone you respect and admire, telling you how amazing you are.

                                          Think of it like a symbolic passing of the torch. Now, you are both dragon slayers. Which means all the positive attributes you attributed to them slaying your dragons, now belong to you.

                                          2. Over-Exaggerating and Oversimplifying

                                          Your past experiences may involve you or someone close to you failing. When you experience failure, you can lose your desire to continue. This has less to do with whether you are brave or scared, and more to do with the fact that your mind does not like failure.

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                                          No one enjoys participating in events in which they under-perform. Outside of the usual reasons of embarrassment, feelings of inadequacy, and fear of failure – it is simply not fun.

                                          Who wants to play baseball if they strikeout every time it is their turn? Would you enjoy singing in front of an audience if you were booed off the stage every time you performed? I could go on, but I think you get the point.

                                          The thing about those two examples is no one really strikes out “every” at-bat. It is also unlikely someone could be booed off the stage “every time” they performed in-front of an audience.

                                          What ends up happening is you oversimplify and exaggerate your past experiences and then your mind believes you. If you believe you are not good enough to ask someone on a date because they “always” tell you no, then do not be surprised you never muster the courage to do so.

                                          If you want to overcome these feelings of inadequacy, start by changing your beliefs. This exercise does not need to be complicated. If you believe you strikeout every time it is your turn, I want to you to go to a batting cage and keep swinging until you hit the baseball.

                                          When you experience success, I want you to take a mental note, write it down, or have someone video it. This is your proof that you do not always strike out. Then, whenever your belief that you are not good enough resurfaces, you are going to replay that video.

                                          Regardless of the situation, you can find a successful experience that you are overlooking.

                                          Solution: Read About the Failures of Others

                                          It sounds a little crazy, I know, but reading about the failures of other successful people will improve your confidence. In a study conducted by Columbia University, they found that teaching students about the failures of great scientists encouraged them to do better.[2]

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                                          When you are battling fear and self-doubt, you tend to over-exaggerate the abilities of others and diminish your own by comparison. You start to believe the successful are successful because they are courageous risk-takers, who do not take no for an answer. You tell yourself, they are meant to succeed, while you on the other hand are not.

                                          When you are able to relate to the successful, you start to realize they have the same struggles and challenges you do. The only difference is they kept going.

                                          Now it is not a question of whether you can succeed, it is a question of whether you want to succeed.

                                          3. Undervalue Yourself

                                          What is the main difference between someone who believes they are good enough and someone who does not? The person who believes they are good enough understands they are a person of value.

                                          What I mean by this is if you do not believe you are worth being listened to, you will not have anything to say. If you do not believe you are good enough to be respected and treated as such, you will accept and rationalize all kinds of mistreatment.

                                          There is an old saying that we are treated as we allow ourselves to be treated. When someone has the confidence and self-esteem that commands respect, they will not accept being treated any kind of way. However, if someone does not see themselves as worthy, they will remain in toxic situations because they do not believe anything better is on the horizon.

                                          Dr. Jennifer Crocker, who worked on a series of self-esteem studies, found in her latest research that:[3]

                                          “College students who based their self-worth on external sources–including appearance, approval from others and even their academic performance–reported more stress, anger, academic problems, relationship conflicts, and had higher levels of drug and alcohol use and symptoms of eating disorders”

                                          Solution: Internalize Your Self-Worth

                                          Instead of valuing yourself based on the awards, recognition, and accolades of others, you need to search internally. By basing your perception of yourself on your core values, you can regain control over self-image.

                                          Instead of focusing on things that are outside of control, keep your mind on what it is that makes you special. You are not defined by your job, relationships, religion, or education. Rather, you are defined by the manner in which you participate in these things. You may be a creative, hard-working, and compassionate person; and that shows up in every thing you do.

                                          Understand that you do not need to be creative, hard-working, and compassionate all the time to consider yourself these things. You are not trying to be perfect, but you are trying to connect with your true self.

                                          By understanding the similarities in which you tackle objectives, you will build a consistent and powerful self-worth that stands apart from external confirmation.

                                          Final Thoughts

                                          Do not allow your past experiences do dictate your future success. You do not want to look back on your life and have a lot of questions and regrets.

                                          Build trust in yourself by taking action today. This will help you build the confidence you need to believe in yourself and your ability to become the champion of your life.

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                                          Featured photo credit: Riccardo Mion via unsplash.com

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