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9 Ways To Enhance Love And Intimacy With Your Loved One

9 Ways To Enhance Love And Intimacy With Your Loved One

Your relationship is only as good as you make it. For a happy and successful relationship, apply these nine ways to enhance love and intimacy today.

1. Be thankful for all things, big and small.

It is easy to forget about the little things that make your relationship special as the months and years go by. If your partner is thoughtful enough to surprise you with a hot cup of coffee on every cold winter morning, express your gratitude as if it were the first time they ever did it, even if it is the hundredth time.

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2. Focus on what brings you together.

No matter how much you might love your partner, there are always going to be things about your relationship that drive you crazy. Instead of agonizing over your differences and disagreements, shift your attention to your partner’s qualities that you find most attractive, handsome, gorgeous or inspiring.

3. Become aware of your need to nag and control.

Don’t even think about trying to mold your partner into anyone but who they are. If you find yourself trying to control your partner’s every action and behavior, or feel the need to change them into another person who doesn’t even remotely resemble who they really are, you might be dating the wrong person. Please understand that I’m not saying you shouldn’t challenge your partner to grow and develop into a better version of themselves, because this is a healthy habit that any happy couple can get behind. There is beauty in imperfection, and there is no greater expression of true love than accepting a person (and all of the quirks that just so happen to come along with them).

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4. Tell your partner a personal story or private secret.

The more secrets you keep from the partner, the fewer opportunities you will have to enhance love and intimacy. This isn’t to say you should confess your religious beliefs, political opinions, high (or low) sex drive, desire to have ten beautiful children or anything like that before you trust a person; however, as time goes on and your relationship blossoms, it becomes more and more important to be 100% upfront with your partner. It is okay to reveal one thing at a time, and it is wise to save the biggest revelations until you feel more comfortable with the disclosure, but understand that hiding important truths (no matter how much you might wish you could just avoid the conversation) can only end badly.

5. Do something new and exciting together as a couple.

Going on the same date over and over again could get boring in a hurry. The more fresh experiences you have with your loved one, the more positive memories you will have of your time together and the more exciting your relationship will be. Below are a few resources where you can find new adventures to take with your partner:

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6. Surprise your partner with acts of kindness.

It isn’t how much money you spend, how much time you invest or how much effort you expend that matters; the important thing is performing actions, no matter how big or small, with an attitude of love and kindness. Don’t underestimate the power of your words, romantic gestures, or acts of kindness; something as simple as surprising your partner with a hot cup of herbal tea if they’re sick at the office, or sneaking a love letter in their purse or gym bag when they’re not looking, will make them feel happy and appreciated.

7. Start every morning with a hug, kiss or cuddle.

Fun FactDid you know that touch is so powerful that it can soothe existential fears in people with low self-esteem? Starting every morning with a hug and kiss will also release feel-good hormones that make you feel excited to start your day.

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8. Support your partner during their life adventure.

There is nothing more hurtful than having a partner who shows no interest in your goals, hopes and dreams. Showing disinterest in your partner’s ambitions will make them feel like they are all alone in the world, so if you can’t support them during their struggles and successes, don’t be surprised if they find someone who will.

9. Express your love in your own creative, unique way.

If you are a partner worth having, then you should know more about your loved one than I ever would. Don’t look at this article like it’s a strict how-to guide, but rather use it as inspiration to think of your own ways to enhance love and intimacy with your partner. What are you going to do to make your partner smile today? Tell us in the comments and please share with your friends if you found it helpful.

Featured photo credit: She is my drug/Bryan Brenneman via Flickr

More by this author

Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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