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9 Ways To Enhance Love And Intimacy With Your Loved One

9 Ways To Enhance Love And Intimacy With Your Loved One

Your relationship is only as good as you make it. For a happy and successful relationship, apply these nine ways to enhance love and intimacy today.

1. Be thankful for all things, big and small.

It is easy to forget about the little things that make your relationship special as the months and years go by. If your partner is thoughtful enough to surprise you with a hot cup of coffee on every cold winter morning, express your gratitude as if it were the first time they ever did it, even if it is the hundredth time.

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2. Focus on what brings you together.

No matter how much you might love your partner, there are always going to be things about your relationship that drive you crazy. Instead of agonizing over your differences and disagreements, shift your attention to your partner’s qualities that you find most attractive, handsome, gorgeous or inspiring.

3. Become aware of your need to nag and control.

Don’t even think about trying to mold your partner into anyone but who they are. If you find yourself trying to control your partner’s every action and behavior, or feel the need to change them into another person who doesn’t even remotely resemble who they really are, you might be dating the wrong person. Please understand that I’m not saying you shouldn’t challenge your partner to grow and develop into a better version of themselves, because this is a healthy habit that any happy couple can get behind. There is beauty in imperfection, and there is no greater expression of true love than accepting a person (and all of the quirks that just so happen to come along with them).

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4. Tell your partner a personal story or private secret.

The more secrets you keep from the partner, the fewer opportunities you will have to enhance love and intimacy. This isn’t to say you should confess your religious beliefs, political opinions, high (or low) sex drive, desire to have ten beautiful children or anything like that before you trust a person; however, as time goes on and your relationship blossoms, it becomes more and more important to be 100% upfront with your partner. It is okay to reveal one thing at a time, and it is wise to save the biggest revelations until you feel more comfortable with the disclosure, but understand that hiding important truths (no matter how much you might wish you could just avoid the conversation) can only end badly.

5. Do something new and exciting together as a couple.

Going on the same date over and over again could get boring in a hurry. The more fresh experiences you have with your loved one, the more positive memories you will have of your time together and the more exciting your relationship will be. Below are a few resources where you can find new adventures to take with your partner:

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6. Surprise your partner with acts of kindness.

It isn’t how much money you spend, how much time you invest or how much effort you expend that matters; the important thing is performing actions, no matter how big or small, with an attitude of love and kindness. Don’t underestimate the power of your words, romantic gestures, or acts of kindness; something as simple as surprising your partner with a hot cup of herbal tea if they’re sick at the office, or sneaking a love letter in their purse or gym bag when they’re not looking, will make them feel happy and appreciated.

7. Start every morning with a hug, kiss or cuddle.

Fun FactDid you know that touch is so powerful that it can soothe existential fears in people with low self-esteem? Starting every morning with a hug and kiss will also release feel-good hormones that make you feel excited to start your day.

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8. Support your partner during their life adventure.

There is nothing more hurtful than having a partner who shows no interest in your goals, hopes and dreams. Showing disinterest in your partner’s ambitions will make them feel like they are all alone in the world, so if you can’t support them during their struggles and successes, don’t be surprised if they find someone who will.

9. Express your love in your own creative, unique way.

If you are a partner worth having, then you should know more about your loved one than I ever would. Don’t look at this article like it’s a strict how-to guide, but rather use it as inspiration to think of your own ways to enhance love and intimacy with your partner. What are you going to do to make your partner smile today? Tell us in the comments and please share with your friends if you found it helpful.

Featured photo credit: She is my drug/Bryan Brenneman via Flickr

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Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on August 4, 2020

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to master the Gentle Art of Saying No:

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1. Value Your Time

Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”

2. Know Your Priorities

Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.

3. Practice Saying No

Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4. Don’t Apologize

A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.

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5. Stop Being Nice

Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets.

Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6. Say No to Your Boss

Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no,” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning.

But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7. Pre-Empting

It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

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“Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

8. Get Back to You

Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them:

“After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

At least you gave it some consideration.

9. Maybe Later

If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

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“This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.

10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

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Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

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