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I Am A Real Gentleman. That’s Why I Am A Winner In Love.

I Am A Real Gentleman. That’s Why I Am A Winner In Love.

Today a gentleman is endangered species. And we men know that too. There are lots of distractions in this world that blocks our way to inherit a character of a gentleman.

Even as the time passes by, the word “man” has no same meaning as before. If we define it by the archaic method, a man means to “fortify the spirits or courage of.”

These days’ people even confuse the meaning of a gentleman. Opening the car for you lady won’t make you a gentleman, but your overall behavior will.

Today we will remind ourselves of the nine traits of a legit gentleman.

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1. Chivalrous

Being chivalrous is being gallant. Paying special attention to women and being polite with them is one of the first traits of a gentleman. Not opening the car and being a jackass after, not opening the door and letting her down after, but a man who gives special attention that every women seeks.

2. Courteous

Being polite and respectful in a considerate manner is to be courteous. I’ve seen men dressed in tuxedos, having a beautiful haircut, great shoes and yet they answer the phone when their women is in the middle of her story. That’s disrespectful and definitely not polite.

To be courteous we have to behave all of our lives in a considerate manner.

3. Honorable man

An honorable man will never hurt his woman. He is warm, respectful, and he will always make time for his lady. And the most important is that he doesn’t play games. Games are for high school relationships. It’s really bad that most of the time both men and women are stuck in the games cycle. They think that relationships couldn’t last if there were no games. That type of behavior is not the one of a lady and definitely not of a gentleman.

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4. Realistic

The next trait of a real gentleman is to be realistic. People often don’t want to see reality. They would rather live in a false one than to be faced with the real situation.

A true gentleman always oversees things realistically. If the car tire is broken, it needs to be fixed. We are not going to drive with broken tire. It’s same in relationship. If something doesn’t work out, we should fix it. Otherwise it will accumulate bigger problems that often end up in breakup, or worst case in a divorce.

5. Polite

Politeness is an expression of concern for other people’s feelings. Being linguistically polite involves a highly complex mix of appropriate words, grammar, intonation and tone of voice.

Positive politeness’ is used to emphasize goodwill and it helps preserve the other person’s positive feeling. Paying compliments, saying “Okay” or “Mhm … ” in all the right places and calling someone by a nickname can all be ways of being positively polite.

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6. Gallant

A man who is much concerned with his dress and appearance is a gallant person. Although it might be uncertain to some, appearance is the first thing that speaks your language, or let me say, shows your qualities. To be a true gentleman we have to be concerned of our bearing every second of the day. If I would give any example, I could put Harvey Specter from “Suits” as a gallant person.

7. Respectful

Respect is to hold someone in high regard and honor their achievements. If you are respectful of your partner, you show them that you recognize that they are their own person. Being respectful means you not only admire them, but listen to them and understand that their goals are as important as yours.

8. Noble

We could be noble in personality which means we are trustworthy and honest. Or we could be a noble meaning we have royal blood in us. We will stick to the first one.

These days finding a trustworthy and honest person is like finding treasure! We should strive more for the nobility and the so-called “human treasure.” That’s what makes one person a pure gentleman.

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9. Decent

The word decent has a vast meaning. But to be really a decent gentleman, puts everything right in the spot. One decent gentleman is proper, correct, appropriate (especially for his woman), reasonable, fair and acceptable.

Featured photo credit: Distinguished Gentleman (2)/Michiel Souren via flickr.com

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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