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I Am A Real Gentleman. That’s Why I Am A Winner In Love.

I Am A Real Gentleman. That’s Why I Am A Winner In Love.

Today a gentleman is endangered species. And we men know that too. There are lots of distractions in this world that blocks our way to inherit a character of a gentleman.

Even as the time passes by, the word “man” has no same meaning as before. If we define it by the archaic method, a man means to “fortify the spirits or courage of.”

These days’ people even confuse the meaning of a gentleman. Opening the car for you lady won’t make you a gentleman, but your overall behavior will.

Today we will remind ourselves of the nine traits of a legit gentleman.

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1. Chivalrous

Being chivalrous is being gallant. Paying special attention to women and being polite with them is one of the first traits of a gentleman. Not opening the car and being a jackass after, not opening the door and letting her down after, but a man who gives special attention that every women seeks.

2. Courteous

Being polite and respectful in a considerate manner is to be courteous. I’ve seen men dressed in tuxedos, having a beautiful haircut, great shoes and yet they answer the phone when their women is in the middle of her story. That’s disrespectful and definitely not polite.

To be courteous we have to behave all of our lives in a considerate manner.

3. Honorable man

An honorable man will never hurt his woman. He is warm, respectful, and he will always make time for his lady. And the most important is that he doesn’t play games. Games are for high school relationships. It’s really bad that most of the time both men and women are stuck in the games cycle. They think that relationships couldn’t last if there were no games. That type of behavior is not the one of a lady and definitely not of a gentleman.

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4. Realistic

The next trait of a real gentleman is to be realistic. People often don’t want to see reality. They would rather live in a false one than to be faced with the real situation.

A true gentleman always oversees things realistically. If the car tire is broken, it needs to be fixed. We are not going to drive with broken tire. It’s same in relationship. If something doesn’t work out, we should fix it. Otherwise it will accumulate bigger problems that often end up in breakup, or worst case in a divorce.

5. Polite

Politeness is an expression of concern for other people’s feelings. Being linguistically polite involves a highly complex mix of appropriate words, grammar, intonation and tone of voice.

Positive politeness’ is used to emphasize goodwill and it helps preserve the other person’s positive feeling. Paying compliments, saying “Okay” or “Mhm … ” in all the right places and calling someone by a nickname can all be ways of being positively polite.

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6. Gallant

A man who is much concerned with his dress and appearance is a gallant person. Although it might be uncertain to some, appearance is the first thing that speaks your language, or let me say, shows your qualities. To be a true gentleman we have to be concerned of our bearing every second of the day. If I would give any example, I could put Harvey Specter from “Suits” as a gallant person.

7. Respectful

Respect is to hold someone in high regard and honor their achievements. If you are respectful of your partner, you show them that you recognize that they are their own person. Being respectful means you not only admire them, but listen to them and understand that their goals are as important as yours.

8. Noble

We could be noble in personality which means we are trustworthy and honest. Or we could be a noble meaning we have royal blood in us. We will stick to the first one.

These days finding a trustworthy and honest person is like finding treasure! We should strive more for the nobility and the so-called “human treasure.” That’s what makes one person a pure gentleman.

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9. Decent

The word decent has a vast meaning. But to be really a decent gentleman, puts everything right in the spot. One decent gentleman is proper, correct, appropriate (especially for his woman), reasonable, fair and acceptable.

Featured photo credit: Distinguished Gentleman (2)/Michiel Souren via flickr.com

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Last Updated on June 24, 2019

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

A study [1] published in Depression and Anxiety found that social media users are more likely to be depressed. This was just one of the huge number of studies linking social media and depression[2] . But why exactly do platforms like Facebook and Instagram make people so unhappy? Well, we don’t know yet for sure, but there are some explanations.

Social Media Could Lead to Depression

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. Social media may lead to depression in predisposed individuals or make existing symptoms of depression[3] worse explains[4] the study above’s senior author Dr. Brian Primack. So, the problem may not be in social media per se, but how we use it.

Signs You’re Suffering From “Social Media Depression”

If you feel like social media is having a negative impact on your mood, then you may be suffering from “social media depression.” Look for symptoms like:

• low self-esteem,

• negative self-talk,

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• a low mood,

• irritability,

• a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed,

• and social withdrawal.

If you’ve had these symptoms for more than two weeks and if this is how you feel most of the time, then you are likely depressed. Although “social media depression “is not a term recognized in the medical setting, social media depression seems to be a real phenomenon affecting around 50% of social media users. As explained in a review study[5] published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, if a person has a certain predisposition to depression and other mental disorders, social media use may only worsen their mental health.

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Social Media Could Crush Self-Esteem

We know that social media and depression are in some way linked, but why is this so? Well, according to Igor Pantic, MD, Ph.D.[6], social media use skews your perception about other people’s lives and traits. To explain this further, most people like to portray an idealized image of their lives, personal traits, and appearance on sites like Facebook and Instagram. If you confuse this idealized image with reality, you may be under the false impression that everyone is better than you which can crush your self-esteem and lead to depression. This is especially true for teens and young adults who are more likely to compare themselves to others. If you already suffer from low self-esteem, the illusion that everyone has it better off than you will just make you feel worse.

Causing Social Isolation and Other Negative Emotions

Another commonly cited reason for the negative impact of social media on mental health is its link with social isolation. Depressed people are more likely to isolate themselves socially and chose only to interact indirectly through social media platforms. But communication online tends to be superficial and is lacking when compared to real-life interaction explains Panic. What this means is not that social media leads to isolation but the other way around, possibly explaining why we find so many depressed persons on these sites.

Lastly, social media use may generate negative emotions in you like envy, jealousy, dislike, loneliness, and many others and this may worsen your depressive symptoms.

Why We Need to Take This Seriously

Both depression and social media use are on the rise according to epidemiological studies. Since each one has an impact on the other, we have to start thinking of healthier ways to use social media. Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to the negative impact of social media on mental health.

Advice on Social Media Use

Although these findings did not provide any cause-effect explanation regarding Facebook and depression[7], they still do prove that social media use may not be a good way to handle depression. For this reason, the leading authors of these studies gave some suggestions as to how clinicians and people can make use of such findings.

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One suggestion is that clinicians should ask patients about their social media habits. Then they can advise them on how to change their outlook on social media use or even suggest limiting their time spent on social media.

Some social media users may also exhibit addictive behavior; they may spend too much time due to compulsive urges. Any compulsive behavior is bound to lead to feelings of guilt which can worsen depressive symptoms.

Having Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media

If you feel like your relationship with social media is unhealthy, then consider the advice on healthy social media use provided by psychology experts from Links Psychology[8]:

Avoid negative social comparison – always keep in mind that how people portray themselves and their lives on social media is not a realistic picture, but rather an idealized one. Also, avoid comparing yourself to others because this behavior can lead to negative self-talk.

Remember that social media is not a replacement for real life – Social media is great for staying in touch and having fun, but it should never replace real-world interactions.

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Avoid releasing personal information – For your safety and privacy, make sure to be careful with what you post online.

Report users who bully and harass you – It’s easy to be a bully in the anonymous and distant world of social media. Don’t take such offense personally and report those who abuse social media to harass others.

The bits of advice listed above can help you establish a healthy relationship with social media. Always keep these things in mind to avoid losing an objective perspective of what social media is and how it is different from real life. If you are currently suffering from depression, talk to your doctor about what is bothering you so that you can get the treatment you need to get better. Tell your doctor about your social media use and see if they could give you some advice on this topic.

Reference

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