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8 Ways To Cultivate More Love in Life

8 Ways To Cultivate More Love in Life

As we grow more connected to the outside world, we also paradoxically distance ourselves from the “real” people right in front of us. Between Twitter, Facebook, email, and the ever-increasing prevalence of the computer in our lives, it’s becoming increasingly rare to have a face-to-face conversation about anything at all, let alone anything of real substantive value to ourselves and our loved ones.

I advocate a “back to basics” approach that cuts off the ongoing encroachment of technology and reminds us that we’re not cyborgs, but fully functioning human beings. Here are 8 ways to cultivate more love in life that will help you “ground” yourself and interact more completely with your life, instead of just reporting on it on social media.

1) Take a technology detox.

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technology

    You mean…

    Yes. I mean.

    Take a full day. That’s 24 hours. From the time you get up to the time you go to bed, no computer, cell phone, email, or “just popping on to check out what Miley Cyrus did today.” None. Zip. Zero. Nada. Instead of watching TV, radio (music’s still okay, but try to steer clear of the computer to get at it, hmm?), or playing on the computer, take a walk, call some friends, or do something‒ANYTHING!‒but avoid messing around with social media or anything that might somehow tempt you to do so. Post a sign if you have to, so all your friends will know that NO, you haven’t seen Charlene’s latest Facebook update about her breakup with her boyfriend. You can catch up tomorrow. Promise.

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    2) Read a good book.

    This is perhaps one of the most overlooked “simple pleasures” we have. A Kindle’s great, a PDF will do in a pinch, but there is just no substitute for the feel and smell of wood pulp in your hands and actually, physically turning the pages of a book. Many people say that, although e-reading is great, there’s just something about being able to physically touch a book that gives a deeper connection to it. I don’t know how it works, since I’m a writer and not a psychologist, but I can tell you with absolute, 100% certainty that it does. Make today the day you rediscover an old favorite, or support your local independent bookstore and see about scoring some new ones!

    3) Meditate on who you are.

    meditate

      It’s almost a cliche that although we can look back through Facebook and tell you what we ate for breakfast three years, two months, sixteen days and ten hours ago, we have no idea who we really are today. You can counter this tendency by taking a little time to quietly ponder who you are and who you’ve become. Do you like what you see? Are some changes in order? This is a great way to inject some love into your life, because if you don’t like who you are, now is the time to change it. Not on New Year’s Eve, not next week. If you really want to change, the time is now.

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      4) Remind yourself that you, and others, are worthy of love and attention.

      If you feel like you’re being ignored a lot, ask yourself if you’re giving what you’d like to receive. If you are, then it’s time to seek out a new social circle, because the people you’re hanging out with are clearly too self-absorbed. If you’re not, then this is a good time to start giving out what you want to receive. You’ll be liked a lot more, and people will be more likely to pay attention to you when you need them as well.

      5) Ask, “How was your day?”and LISTEN to the answer.

      How To Be A Good Listener That Others Want To Talk To

        “How was your day?” is almost a pro forma question these days. We hear the answer, but don’t really listen because we just can’t wait to get on to the really important topic of OUR day. if you’re not willing to listen to the answer, don’t ask the question; conversely, if you’re going to ask, you owe it to yourself and the other person to listen. Otherwise you’re just wasting your breath asking, and they’re wasting their breath telling you. You can tell if this is happening in your life because when you ask, the other person is reluctant to say anything at all. The more love, attention, and respect you give, the more compassion you’ll receive.

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        6) Touch.

        beach_kiss_250x167.jpg

          This is such a simple thing, but too often it goes ignored. The act of touching conveys much more than simple physical contact. It is a sign that you care about someone enough to get in their space, and to allow them into yours as well. Human beings need touch in order to feel secure and comfortable; it is a social and spiritual act. This can be a friendly or amorous touch, familial or comradely, but everything from a high-five to sex with your lover shows that you care. If you feel lonely, isolated, or unloved, try touching someone you care about. You may be surprised where it leads.

          7) Schedule a game night.

          No, I don’t mean watching football, hockey, or soccer. I mean an old-fashioned table game. Whether you like to play dice, cards, Monopoly, or even beer pong, a game night is a good way to break up the routine and allow some real socialization with friends or family (Sorry, online versions don’t count here). This is an excellent way to reconnect with others and disconnect from the Internet for a night. You’ll be surprised at how much warmer and more cared-for you’ll feel at the end of the evening, too!

          8) Watch the sunset.

          20090107-sunset1

            There are just some things that cannot be simulated or duplicated. Why not take your lover out around sunset and watch the sun go down? Not only is it a great, intimate way to spend a little time, but it will also help you think about some of life’s bigger questions, like why the things we place such a premium on really don’t matter much in the end. This is a perfect time to tell your partner, “I love you and I’m so thankful that you’re in my life.” You’ll also feel more at peace, which is always a worthy outcome!

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            Last Updated on April 23, 2019

            13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently

            13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently

            Let me begin by being 100% frank with you – everyone is capable of happiness.

            Happiness is first a choice but it also takes persistence to maintain. Happiness is our birth right and my mission is to help as many people as I can live their happiest life.

            My mission is to spread the message that everyone deserves happiness.

            To live a happy life; however, you must do the work, gain the necessary knowledge, and increase your awareness.

            You must fully embody this state and begin to think and feel happiness on every level of your being.

            Often times, excuses present themselves and our mind gives us the reasons why we can’t be happy:

            “I am too busy right now to focus on happiness”

            “I will be happy when I finish school, when I have the money, when I am in the right relationship, when I have kids, when my children are older….”

            “I would have had a happy life if this traumatic event had never happened”

            “I don’t deserve happiness”

            EVERYONE deserves happiness. The reason that you are here right now is because you have a purpose and you are on the earth to enjoy your journey.

            Think BIGGER than your excuses. Push FARTHER than your complaints.

            Don’t be pulled away from greatness. Get uncomfortable. At least these are what happy and successful people do on a daily basis.

            This article highlights the top 13 tips and tricks of how happy people think and feel.

            If you would like to begin embodying this life-changing state, then… Here are the 13 ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently:

            1. Happy People Put Happiness First

            Happy people have made the decision that their end goal is happiness.

            Every situation, event, bad day ultimately ends with happiness.

            To them, happiness is equivalent to sleep and water – it is a necessity to their life. To live an unhappy life is to have never lived at all.

            The happy person asks,

            “What would be the point of living if every day and moment were filled with negativity?”

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            “Why would I deplete my energy on negativity when I expend less to be positive?”

            They make happy-based decisions which means in EVERY MOMENT they choose happiness.

            If their circumstances can’t change then they instead change their perspective, they look for the silver lining in the negative.

            Happy people don’t let negativity steal their moments away – a positive mindset always prevails.

            If you ask a happy person how their day was, they will always answer your question with a highlight or a lesson learned.

            2. Happy People Embrace Pain

            I know what you are thinking –

            “No one is ALWAYS happy”

            or …

            “Even happy people get in bad moods”

            and …

            These statements are absolutely accurate.

            Happy people aren’t always happy and they DO get into bad moods. They get overwhelmed, they feel defeated, and their feelings get hurt.

            Happy people aren’t invincible and they feel pain just like everyone else. The only difference between happy people and people who let negativity run their lives is that…

            Happy people quickly acknowledge their pain and they make a decision to find a way to transform their pain into something greater. They also use these 13 simple ways to shake off the sadness.

            Happy people admit the negativity they feel and they do what it takes to get back into their natural state: happiness.

            When your end goal is happiness, then you will find a way to achieve it no matter how much strength you have to muster.

            3. Happy People Have a Happy Self-Image

            We all have an image in our minds that we subconsciously live up to.

            The reason that change is so hard is because our subconscious mind is programmed to live by how we define ourselves.

            How are you currently defining yourself?

            For happy people, they see themselves with a smile, positive outlook, and/or a bounce in their step. When an event or situation arises that brings in a negative emotion, they quickly change their state to resemble their natural self-image.

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            When happy people are in a bad mood, it feels unusual to them because feeling negative isn’t aligned with how they see themselves.

            When they feel upset, they acknowledge the negativity and look for a solution to bring their emotions to the level of how they perceive themselves.

            Look at how you define yourself today – your mind and body are always trying to live up to the definition it is taught to believe.

            Your body’s job is to keep you in a “normal” state because this is where it feels most comfortable.

            If your self-image is happy, then your mind and body will naturally be brought back to where it feels at home. Your actions will be a clue to how you define yourself.

            4. Happy People Have a Strong Support System

            The happiest people know that it takes a village and they lean on others for support.

            Happy people feel comfortable reaching out for help when they feel that their resistances are overpowering them. They quickly sense their negativity and they tell somebody.

            Happy people ask for assistance when they can’t figure out a problem. Seeking help takes strength and it never gets in the way of their self-worth. Happy people appreciate the wisdom that their support system provides.

            They have strong connections with the people who are close to them. They never trudge through tough times alone because jeopardizing their happiness for too long would be detrimental to their well-being.

            5. Happy People Safeguard Their Minds from Negative Triggers

            Warding off negativity is almost impossible when we live in a society that lives by what went wrong and feeds off of what could go wrong. News travels instantaneously so it would be unrealistic to shut this out of your life completely.

            However, one strategy that happy people use to safeguard their minds is regulating their environment.

            We have a lot of control on how we allow our environments to affect us. We can control our social media feed, the television shows and movies we watch, the books that we read, the people that we spend our time with, and the places that we hang out.

            If happiness is your end goal, then take a good look at what is bringing you down. What triggers your unhappiness? See if there is anything in your environment that can be changed……

            What we listen to, read, and who we hang out with influence our mind, what we think about, what we worry about, our reactions, and behaviors.

            Happy people know what triggers a feeling of negativity and it feels out of alignment for them so they do what it takes to avoid it.

            They might regulate their social media news feed to reflect the information that brings them positive energy. They might regulate the people that they spend their time with. It is important to hang out with like-minded people.

            What are you triggers? How can you avoid the negativity in your environment?

            These are ways that happy people regulate their environment and safeguard their minds.

            6. Happy People Know When to Say “No”

            Happy people know when to sit one out and say “no.” They do this to protect their happiness and well-being.

            Life gets overwhelming – a lot of people need our attention and the to do list can seem never ending.

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            Happy people give themselves permission to take the day off and they feel comfortable with saying “no” when their stress levels begin to climb. They understand that those around them aren’t benefiting from someone who is frazzled, overwhelmed, and tired.

            A happy person identifies their negative emotion and then they quickly treat it to bring themselves back to their “normal” state, so that they can be at their best for not only themselves but for those around them, too.

            A simple “no” can ultimately mean many more “yes’s” in the future because happiness has a long battery life. You can take a look at Leo Babauta’s article The Gentle Art of Saying No and learn to say no.

            7. Happy People Are Good Evaluators

            Happy people can quickly sense when something is off with themselves or others. They are very intuitive to happiness levels. When someone isn’t quite right, they are the first ones to notice.

            Being able to evaluate happiness means that you can identify when negativity is lingering around for too long.

            We all have bad days; however, the happy person evaluates often and quickly intervenes.

            In other words, happy people frequently evaluate their state and immediately change when their pessimism is overshadowing their joy.

            8. Happy People Bring Other People Up

            What goes on inside of us is mirrored into our physical world.

            What we think about literally consumes our life and is displayed in our work, relationships, and attitude.

            Happy people naturally feel good inside and about themselves so they treat others the way that they treat themselves. It never feels forced to give a compliment or to help out a stranger.

            When we are truly happy with ourselves, everyone around us has a better experience. Happy people are kind to themselves and because of this, it feels natural to them to want to make others’ happy, too.

            9. Happy People Go After Their Dreams

            Happy people are always following the joyful path. They make happy-based decisions and because of this, they always end up where they want to be.

            It’s absolutely impossible to be happy by following an undesirable path, which is quite opposite for unhappy people.

            Most people journey through life on a path they think they are “supposed” to be own. Warning signs (negativity) are often ignored because they truly believe that these feelings are a normal part of life.

            Negativity is NOT normal.

            The happiest people investigate the negativity in their life and quickly analyze the results. This process allows them to get back on the joyful path which ends in a desirable outcome.

            Follow your happiness and your dreams will come true (If that isn’t motivation then I don’t know what is!)

            In addition to happiness, here are 14 amazing things that happen when you live your passion.

            10. Happy People Never Sweat the Small Stuff

            The only expectation that the happy person has is that they remain in a joyful state.

            They rarely have expectations for the events and people in their lives because they know that this is a sure way to get let down.

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            The happiest people take life as it comes – you could say that they roll with the punches. When you don’t have expectations, thenyoue can just sit back and watch how beautifully life unfolds.

            Happy people understand that bad things are inevitable, they are a part of life – The car will break, the kids will make mistakes, people will be late, and dinner will burn.

            If it’s not anything seriously affecting their lives, then they don’t give their energy to it.

            11. Happy People Rarely Have to Prove That They Are Right

            Happy people remember that it’s more important to live up to what they believe. When you live your life aligned with your belief system, then there is no need to explain or prove yourself to others.

            Differences in opinions are inevitable, but the happiest of people know it’s wasted energy to defend their position.

            It is more effective to simply show people, through actions, how you think, feel, and what you believe.

            Energy is saved, arguments are diminished, and credibility/respect are gained when we live by what we believe.

            12. Happy People Smile (Even When They Don’t Want To)

            Smiling is one of the healthiest things we can do; and happy people use this simple trick quite often.

            It has been proven that smiling has the ability to boost your immune system, decrease stress levels, and can even make you look younger. The benefits of smiling have even been backed up by science.[1]

            Better yet, smiling is contagious. When you engage in a quick smile, you are likely to brighten someone else’s day along with your own. It is no wonder why happy people smile often!

            13. Happy People Live Life in the Present Moment.

            When we are genuinely happy, we are living for the moment.

            Happy people let go of the past, enjoy the present, and look forward to the future. They take the moments for what they are worth – they only invest their energy in what feels right to them.

            Everyone is capable of living a happy-centered life. You deserve a life that you desire – your dream life. All you have to start doing is make happy-based decisions TODAY.

            In every moment, decide on what makes you happy – decide on what gets you excited. Stop doing what you don’t love, don’t listen to the people that you dislike.

            If you are engaging in something that isn’t bringing you joy, then quit doing it. Listen to your heart, stop ignoring the warning signs (negativity) because they are there for a reason.

            I have observed, studied, and interviewed some of the happiest and most successful people along with some of the most miserable and self-loathing.

            It starts with one decision – happiness.

            The happiest, most successful people choose happiness with EACH and EVERY decision. And you can start doing this today.

            Featured photo credit: Autumn Goodman via unsplash.com

            Reference

            [1] Harvard Business Review: The Science Behind the Smile

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