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Moving On Takes Time But You Can Do It Faster Than Others

Moving On Takes Time But You Can Do It Faster Than Others

When you’re suffering through a painful breakup, it’s hard to imagine that you’ll ever find another partner — much less, want one! There’s a cliche that it takes one week to get over each month of a relationship, but who has that much time to dwell on the past?

Getting over a breakup is hard because it suddenly shakes our future.

When we start to be committed to a relationship, we have expectation on each other. Maybe we want to spend the rest of our life with the partner, or maybe we’re planning about something we can do together in the future. Everything in the future is all about “us”, everything in “our” future is positive.

But when the relationship ends suddenly, the commitment and the promises are broken. Our future becomes uncertain all of a sudden. There is also a strong emotional fallout. We are forced to give up something we used to believe in so strongly. And we are forced to give up something we treasure most.

This is a large-scale mental revision, and this is confusing and for sure, very difficult.

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But moving on is necessary because getting stuck at a difficult stage blocks out our future opportunities.

The end of a relationship is not the end of life. No matter who initiate the breakup, it means something is not working in the relationship. Most of the time, it’s not about who’s not good enough, it’s about whether the couple is suitable for each other.

If we’re stuck with the “what if’s” and “how comes” continuously, we’re never going to move on. If we let ourselves dwell in the past, we’re neglecting what we can do to be happier now and in the future.

There is still way to go for our lives, there’ll be so many more people we will encounter, and so many more things to experience. Getting stuck in a difficult stage is a really bad thing for our future.

I know getting over a breakup is difficult, I’ve been through plenty of painful breakups too. But these tips will get you the way on how to get over a breakup fast and move on soon.

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1. Accept the end of the relationship.

Avoid second-guessing yourself once you end the relationship. Even if you did not end it, don’t start wondering what you did wrong. Relationships end for good reasons. One of you wasn’t happy or getting what you wanted.

Accept that the relationship is over, and now, you have a fresh start to do it right next time.

2. Give yourself some time to get over it bit by bit.

You’re not in the relationship anymore, but you don’t have to get over it right away. If you push yourself too hard to get over your ex, you might do more harm than good. Everything takes time to heal, and bad relationships are no different.

Take time to go to bed early and sleep in late, or stay in on a Saturday night eating ice cream.

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3. Replace your hatred and anger with gratitude.

Regardless of what happened to end your relationship, don’t hold a grudge. Everyone makes mistakes, and when emotions are high, people will get hurt. Don’t hate your ex forever and tell everyone that he or she is a bad person. Don’t let your ex have that kind of hold over you anymore. Let those negative feelings go and be thankful for the lessons you have learned instead. Embrace the possibilities of future love and happiness.

4. Realize who you want to be and find yourself again.

It’s not uncommon to lose yourself in a relationship, where you can become a “we” instead of a “me.” A breakup means you have time to find yourself again. Spoil yourself: spend an hour in a bubble bath, watch a marathon of your favorite TV show, cook the favorite meal that your ex hated. This is the perfect time to analyze who you were before, who you were with your ex, and who you want to be in the future. You’re single and you’re healing from a breakup – it’s all about you!

5. Find your support circle and have more fun with your friends.

Just like you lose touch with yourself in a relationship, it’s easy to lose touch with your friends. Being part of a couple means you spend a lot of time with each other, and you might spend less time with your friends as you enjoy your partner more and more. Being single again means you can have quality time with your friends. Don’t spend that time bad-mouthing your ex, or even talking about the relationship or the breakup. Spend time catching up and having fun together.

6. Rededicate yourself to your hobbies and passion.

Due to spending so much time with your ex, your hobbies may have fallen to the wayside. You may have exchanged reading a book in bed at night for pillow talk. Did you stop making jewelry to sit on the couch and watch your ex’s favorite movies? Use this time to rediscover your hobbies and become more in tune with the person you once were.

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7. Work out to take your mind off the negativity.

Nothing takes your mind off problems more than working out. (Even if it is because you spend every step of your run chanting, “I hate exercise, I hate exercise.”) Go for a run when you get home from work each afternoon. Join a gym and hit it up each morning before work. As an added bonus, if you join a gym, you’re going to get your body into shape, while increasing your chances of meeting someone new (when you’re ready)!

8. Recognize your self worth: you’re always amazing and you deserve real love.

This is the most important tip of all. Your relationship may have ended, but you’re not a failure because of that. Everyone has stories of failed relationships, and everyone gets past them. Just remember that you’re an amazing, interesting person. One relationship might not have worked out, but there are many other people out there just waiting to meet you. Get excited by the possibilities!

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

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Last Updated on October 5, 2020

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

We are given life with many opportunities to make it everything we want it to be and more. If you find that you’ve slipped into living a boring life, it’s time to take a hard look at what you’ve been doing and what you can start doing now to make it more interesting.

Maybe you’ve been doing the same thing and living the same life for too long, or maybe your daily routine is limiting your growth and happiness. Whatever your reason is, the following list can definitely make any day or life more interesting. Some of them are silly, while some are more meaningful, so hopefully just reading the list makes your life less boring and sparks your creativity.

Let’s dive in the list to quit your boring life and start living an interesting (and meaningful) one!

1. Channel Your 7-Year-Old Self

Imagine being a young child. Life was never boring, was it? That’s because children harness every ounce of creativity they have in order to try new things.

What would your 7-year-old self want to do in this moment? Maybe they’d pick up a paintbrush and try to paint the landscape around them. May they would go outside and build something with random materials around the yard. Maybe they would raid the fridge and put together a dish they’ve never seen before.

Just because you’re a grown-up doesn’t mean any of this stuff will be less enjoyable than you remember it. Give yourself permission to play and use your creativity to its fullest.

2. Go Play With Kids

Speaking of little kids, if you have your own (or a niece or nephew), go play with them!

Kids are absolutely hilarious, so it’s simply impossible to be bored when you’re around them. They also keep things so simple, and we can really stand to be reminded of this and stop allowing ourselves to get bogged down in boring details.

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3. Play Cell Phone Roulette

You’ll need at least one buddy for this, but this is a great way to avoid a boring life. Scroll through the contacts in your phone, stop on a random one, and (if it feels right) call the person.

You could spark an incredible catch-up session or, at the very least, remind someone that you’re thinking of them. Neither are boring.

4. Fill out a Pack of Thank-You Cards

This is a great part of a gratitude practice. We often forget to thank the people who do things for us, especially if we have come to expect those things. For example, have you ever thought about thanking your mom for that weekly phone call? Or thanking your sister for always sending you a homemade gift on your birthday?

Take time to think of at least 5 people you would like to say thank you to and write out a card. You could even write them out for random people in your neighborhood, like the local librarian, a teacher at your child’s school, or the accountant at your bank.

Anyone and everyone appreciates being thanked for their efforts.

5. Sign up for a Class

Nowadays, there are classes for everything. To make it as interesting as possible, try finding one that you wouldn’t normally consider doing, like salsa lessons, improv, or boxing.

Otherwise, try to find a course on something you’ve always wanted to learn, like pottery, photography, or a foreign language course.

What’s good about joining an interest class is that you will also meet new people, which will add even more interest to your life!

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6. Talk to Your Grandparents About Their Lives

We often underestimate how interesting the elderly are. You can rest assured that any elderly person you talk to will not have had a boring life! Take some time to talk to them and hear their interesting stories. You may even find that this motivates you to go out and find your own interesting experiences.

7. Get up on Stage at an Open Mic Night

Whether you’re funny or not, get up on stage. If you’re not into comedy, find an open mic that focuses on reading poetry or short stories and bring your own. These groups tend to be incredibly supportive for anyone who is willing to be brave enough to get up and try.

8. Do Something for Someone Else

Showing kindness automatically makes you feel good, but doing these small acts will also help to ensure that you don’t have a boring life. Try doing one or two things each week that are outside your normal routine.

For example, you could make a batch of cookies for the mailperson or help your elderly neighbor organize one of their rooms. There are a million ways to show kindness to those around you. Tap into your creativity and find your own or use some of the ideas from the image below[1].

Do random acts of kindness to avoid living a boring life.

    9. Start a DIY Project in Your Home

    If you have your own place, there is always a project that needs to get done. Many people simply pay for someone else to do it in order to avoid the hassle, but taking on a DIY project can make a boring life much more interesting.

    It doesn’t have to be super complicated. Maybe you repaint an old vase or build a spice shelf out of used pallets.

    If you need ideas, you can also check out these 30 Awesome DIY Projects that You’ve Never Heard of.

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    10. Plan a Weekend Trip or an All-Out Vacation

    This will give you something to look forward to. One study actually found that most travelers are happiest before a vacation[2]. Therefore, simply planning a trip will boost your mood, even if you can’t actually take the vacation right now.

    Even if you don’t have the time or money to go on a vacation, plan for a staycation, which is also fun and relaxing!

    11. Go People Watching

    Find a bench in a crowded area (centers of transportation like airports, bus stops, and train stations are great for this!) and just observe[3].

    People are infinitely interesting. Try to imagine what their lives are like, what they’re thinking, or where they’re going. You’ll never know if you’re right, but it will give you something to focus on and also help you practice empathy.

    12. Eat Something You’ve Never Eaten Before

    You can try that new Moroccan restaurant down the street and pick the most interesting dish on the menu. Or, you can raid your own fridge and throw together a dish you’ve never made before.

    If you’re up for a trip to the grocery store, try picking up a new fruit or veggie from the produce section. You may find a new food that you love!

    13. Dance

    You can get your friends together for a night on the town or just pull up a video on YouTube and bust a move from your own living room.

    If you’re feeling extra brave, you can even dance in public or join a flash mob.

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    14. Pick up a Book and Start Reading

    Reading a good book can keep you occupied for hours. It will also transport you to a life that isn’t your own, and one that likely will be the opposite of a boring life. You’ll be amazed by what you can learn from those pages.

    Pick on of these inspirational books to start reading: 10 Best Inspirational Books That Can Change Your Life

    15. Spend Some Time With People You Care About

    Facebook stalking doesn’t count as real social interaction. Call up a friend you haven’t seen in a while, or bring a coffee over to your parent’s place and catch up. They’ll appreciate the gesture, and you’ll avoid boredom.

    16. Check out a Museum You’ve Never Been to

    Some people are bored by museums, so if that’s you, skip to the next one. However, if you love art, history, or culture, this one is for you!

    17. Write a List of Things You Desire and Truly Want

    This is a great way to help you figure out the real reason why you’re feeling bored about your life. Maybe you haven’t really done things that you truly enjoy? Maybe what you’ve wanted to do all the time has been left behind?

    Think about the list of things you really want to do, and ask yourself why you aren’t doing these things (yet). Then, start taking your first step to make it happen.

    Now, go make your life interesting and live your dream life!

    More on How to Quit a Boring Life

    Featured photo credit: Alex Alvarez via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] FECAVA: Random Acts of Kindness
    [2] Applied Research in Quality of Life: Vacationers Happier, but Most not Happier After a Holiday
    [3] Psychology Today: The Expert’s Guide to People Watching

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