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Moving On Takes Time But You Can Do It Faster Than Others

Moving On Takes Time But You Can Do It Faster Than Others

When you’re suffering through a painful breakup, it’s hard to imagine that you’ll ever find another partner — much less, want one! There’s a cliche that it takes one week to get over each month of a relationship, but who has that much time to dwell on the past?

Getting over a breakup is hard because it suddenly shakes our future.

When we start to be committed to a relationship, we have expectation on each other. Maybe we want to spend the rest of our life with the partner, or maybe we’re planning about something we can do together in the future. Everything in the future is all about “us”, everything in “our” future is positive.

But when the relationship ends suddenly, the commitment and the promises are broken. Our future becomes uncertain all of a sudden. There is also a strong emotional fallout. We are forced to give up something we used to believe in so strongly. And we are forced to give up something we treasure most.

This is a large-scale mental revision, and this is confusing and for sure, very difficult.

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But moving on is necessary because getting stuck at a difficult stage blocks out our future opportunities.

The end of a relationship is not the end of life. No matter who initiate the breakup, it means something is not working in the relationship. Most of the time, it’s not about who’s not good enough, it’s about whether the couple is suitable for each other.

If we’re stuck with the “what if’s” and “how comes” continuously, we’re never going to move on. If we let ourselves dwell in the past, we’re neglecting what we can do to be happier now and in the future.

There is still way to go for our lives, there’ll be so many more people we will encounter, and so many more things to experience. Getting stuck in a difficult stage is a really bad thing for our future.

I know getting over a breakup is difficult, I’ve been through plenty of painful breakups too. But these tips will get you the way on how to get over a breakup fast and move on soon.

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1. Accept the end of the relationship.

Avoid second-guessing yourself once you end the relationship. Even if you did not end it, don’t start wondering what you did wrong. Relationships end for good reasons. One of you wasn’t happy or getting what you wanted.

Accept that the relationship is over, and now, you have a fresh start to do it right next time.

2. Give yourself some time to get over it bit by bit.

You’re not in the relationship anymore, but you don’t have to get over it right away. If you push yourself too hard to get over your ex, you might do more harm than good. Everything takes time to heal, and bad relationships are no different.

Take time to go to bed early and sleep in late, or stay in on a Saturday night eating ice cream.

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3. Replace your hatred and anger with gratitude.

Regardless of what happened to end your relationship, don’t hold a grudge. Everyone makes mistakes, and when emotions are high, people will get hurt. Don’t hate your ex forever and tell everyone that he or she is a bad person. Don’t let your ex have that kind of hold over you anymore. Let those negative feelings go and be thankful for the lessons you have learned instead. Embrace the possibilities of future love and happiness.

4. Realize who you want to be and find yourself again.

It’s not uncommon to lose yourself in a relationship, where you can become a “we” instead of a “me.” A breakup means you have time to find yourself again. Spoil yourself: spend an hour in a bubble bath, watch a marathon of your favorite TV show, cook the favorite meal that your ex hated. This is the perfect time to analyze who you were before, who you were with your ex, and who you want to be in the future. You’re single and you’re healing from a breakup – it’s all about you!

5. Find your support circle and have more fun with your friends.

Just like you lose touch with yourself in a relationship, it’s easy to lose touch with your friends. Being part of a couple means you spend a lot of time with each other, and you might spend less time with your friends as you enjoy your partner more and more. Being single again means you can have quality time with your friends. Don’t spend that time bad-mouthing your ex, or even talking about the relationship or the breakup. Spend time catching up and having fun together.

6. Rededicate yourself to your hobbies and passion.

Due to spending so much time with your ex, your hobbies may have fallen to the wayside. You may have exchanged reading a book in bed at night for pillow talk. Did you stop making jewelry to sit on the couch and watch your ex’s favorite movies? Use this time to rediscover your hobbies and become more in tune with the person you once were.

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7. Work out to take your mind off the negativity.

Nothing takes your mind off problems more than working out. (Even if it is because you spend every step of your run chanting, “I hate exercise, I hate exercise.”) Go for a run when you get home from work each afternoon. Join a gym and hit it up each morning before work. As an added bonus, if you join a gym, you’re going to get your body into shape, while increasing your chances of meeting someone new (when you’re ready)!

8. Recognize your self worth: you’re always amazing and you deserve real love.

This is the most important tip of all. Your relationship may have ended, but you’re not a failure because of that. Everyone has stories of failed relationships, and everyone gets past them. Just remember that you’re an amazing, interesting person. One relationship might not have worked out, but there are many other people out there just waiting to meet you. Get excited by the possibilities!

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

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Last Updated on August 7, 2018

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

Failure occurs everyday, in school, jobs, housework, and within families. It is unavoidable, irritating and causes pessimism.

While the thought of flinging your hands in the air and walking away is all too appealing, take a second to connect with the people who have been there and survived.

Here are 10 famous failures to success stories around the world that will inspire you to keep going and achieve greatness:

1. J.K. Rowling

J.K.-Rowling

    During a Harvard commencement speech, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling outlined the importance and value of failure.[1]

    Why? Simply because she was once a failure too.

    A few short years after her graduation from college, her worst nightmares were realized. In her words,

    “I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears that my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.”

    Coming out of this failure stronger and more determined was the key to her success.

    2. Steve Jobs

    steve-jobs-31

      The now revolutionary Apple started off with two men in a garage. Years later we all know it as a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees.

      Yet, almost unbelievably, Steve Jobs was fired from the very company he began.

      The dismissal made him realize that his passion for his work exceeded the disappointment of failure. Further ventures such as NeXT and Pixar eventually led Jobs back to the CEO position at AppleJobs said in 2005:

      “I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.”

      Lost your job today? Keep kicking and you could be just like this guy!

      3. Bill Gates
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        Bill Gates was a Harvard dropout. He co-owned a business called Traf-O-Data, which was a true failure.[2]

        However, skill and a passion for computer programming turned this failure into the pioneer of famous software company Microsoft, and the then 31-year-old into the world’s youngest self-made billionaire.

        In his own words:

        “It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.”

        This isn’t to say that dropping out of Harvard will make you into a billionaire, but maybe that shiny degree isn’t worth as much as the drive and passion to succeed.

        4. Albert Einstein
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          The word ‘Einstein’ is associated with intelligence and synonymous with genius. Yet it is a famous fact that the pioneer of the theory of general relativity, Albert Einstein himself, could not speak fluently until the age of nine. His rebellious nature led to expulsion from school, and he was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School.

          His earlier setbacks did not stop him from winning the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1921. After all, he believed that:

          “Success is failure in progress.”

          To this day, his research has influenced various aspects of life including culture, religion, art, and even late night TV.

          Just because you haven’t achieved anything great yet, doesn’t mean you can’t be an Einstein yourself.

          5. Abraham Lincoln

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            Failing in business in 1831, suffering a nervous breakdown in 1836, defeated in his run for president in 1856, Abraham Lincoln was no stranger to rejection and failure. Rather than taking these signs as a motivation for surrender, he refused to stop trying his best.

            In this great man’s words:

            “My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.”

            Lincoln was elected in 1861 as the 16th President of the United States of America.

            The amount of rejection you receive is not a defining factor. Success is still within your reach.

            6. Michael Jordan

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              “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

              This quote by retired basketball legend Michael Jordan in a Nike advertisement speaks for itself.

              It would be an easy misconception that Jordan’s basketball skills revolve around natural talent. In fact, in his earlier years,  basketball coaches had trouble looking past the fact that Jordan didn’t reach the minimum height. It was years of effort, practice, and failure that made the star we know today.

              7. Steven Spielberg

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                Regarded as one of the most influential filmmakers of all time, Steven Spielberg is a familiar household name. It is surprising to realize therefore that the genius behind Jaws and E.T. had poor grades in high school, getting him rejected from the University of Southern California three times.

                While he was in college, he caught the eye of executives at Universal, who signed him as a television director in 1969. This meant that he would not finish his college degree for another 33 years.

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                Perseverance and acceptance of failure is the key to success, after all.

                “Even though I get older, what I do never gets old, and that’s what I think keeps me hungry.”

                Bad grades in high school aside, there is no questioning the genius involved.

                To date, Spielberg has directed 51 films and has been awarded three Oscars.

                8. Walt Disney

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                  Mickey Mouse creator Walt Disney dropped out of school at a young age in a failed attempt at joining the army.[3] One of his earlier ventures, Laugh-o-Gram Studios, went bankrupt due to his lack of ability to run a successful business. He was once fired from a Missouri newspaper for “not being creative enough.”

                  Yet today, The genius behind Disney studios is responsible for generations of childhood memories and dreams. From Snow White to Frozen, Disney will continue to entertain the world for generations to come.

                  The logic behind this is simple:

                  “We don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”

                  9. Vincent Van Gogh
                  vincent_van_gogh

                    During his lifetime, Vincent Van Gogh suffered mental illness, failed relationships, and committed suicide at the age of 37.

                    He only ever sold one painting in his life, pinning him a failure as an artist. However that did not put a damper on his enthusiasm and passion for art.

                    He would never know that years and years after his death he would become known as a key figure in the world of post-impressionism, and ultimately, one of the greatest artist that ever lived.

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                    He would never know that he became a hot topic in art classes and his image was going to be used in TV, books and other forms of popular culture.

                    In the words of this great, but tragic man:

                    “If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”

                    10. Stephen King

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                      As a paranoid, troubled child, tormented by nightmares and raised in poverty, it is no surprise that Stephen King grew up to the title: “Master of Horror”.[4]

                      An addiction to drugs and alcohol were his mechanisms to cope with the unhappiness he felt with his life. The frustration he felt towards multiple rejections by publishers in combination with illicit substances caused him to mentally contemplate violence towards his own children.

                      These intense emotions were those that he focused onto his writing. And that’s why he said:

                      “We make up horros to help us cope with the real ones.”

                      Writing became his new coping mechanism, and this is how the master author we know today grew to success.

                      Fail more often in order to succeed

                      Like Albert Einstein said, failure really is just success in progress. If you’d rather not to fail, you will probably never succeed.

                      Success comes from moments of frustrations when you’ll be most uncomfortable with. But after you’ve gone through all those bitter times, you’ll become stronger and you’ll get closer to success.

                      Don’t be afraid to fail. In fact, start failing, and start failing often; that’s how you will succeed.

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                      Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

                      Reference

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