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7 Ways To Kill The Jealousy Monster Inside You

7 Ways To Kill The Jealousy Monster Inside You

Jealousy is a horrible feeling that weeds its way into your life and relationships before you know it. You might want something someone else has, or feel like they’re happier than you. It might seem like an uncontrollable emotion, but it’s truly not! Whether you’re jealous of co-workers, your partner’s friends, or random people on the street, read these seven ways to kill the jealousy monster inside you.

1. Remember your big accomplishments.

You’re special, too! Just because your coworker gets the promotion you wanted doesn’t mean you haven’t done great work. List out your accomplishments and think about how you got them and what you’ve done since then. You’ll quickly find that you’re just as worthy as the person you’re envying!

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2. Ask yourself if you truly want what others have.

Your friend just got a 52″ TV, and you’re jealous. But do you really want one? He has a huge house, and you have a studio apartment. Plus, you’d rather spend that money on a trip. This goes for anything from physical goods to relationships to career power. Think of the pros and cons of any situation in which you find yourself jealous. Sometimes you’ll realize that not only do you not need what you’re coveting, but you don’t really even want it! That will free your mind and ease the jealous feeling.

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    3. Appreciate your own good fortune.

    Think of where you are in your life and how you got there. Did you just buy your first car? Are you able to save one paycheck each month? Are you surrounded by loving family and amazing friends? You have a lot of good things in your life, and you have a lot of good fortune coming your way. Stop letting jealousy eat you alive and realize that you can better spend that energy on furthering your own success and happiness.

    4. Appreciate that others can do what you can’t.

    How boring would life be if everyone was the same? What if the entire population of your city was applying for your job, and they all had the same qualifications? And participated in the same hobbies on weekends, and went to the same restaurant for dinner? Appreciate that everyone is different. Some people are better in powerful management positions, while maybe you’re better working with people. A friend might be an excellent artist—a quality you’re envious of, but don’t forget that you’re a great musician! Acknowledge that people need to be different, need to be better at various things, and need to do things you can’t just so the world won’t be boring.

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    5. Give.

    If you find that you’re extremely jealous of one person in particular, get to know them better. Try to strike up a friendship. Give them a gift, or be extra kind to them every day. The better you know them, the more you’ll learn about them. This means you might find that they’re in the same boat as you—jealous of someone else, not content with all the wonderful things they have. You might find that they have a lot of problems and need a friend. You might find that they’re someone who can support you as you try to reach their level. Regardless of what comes about with this person, giving to them and being kind will help shape your negative jealousy into another, more positive emotion.

    6. Love yourself.

    Regardless of anything you might feel about anyone else, remember to love yourself. Jealousy is such a negative emotion that it can eat you alive. You’ll start to feel bad all the time and think you’re worthless compared to anyone else. Remind yourself daily—hourly, if you have to!—that this isn’t true. You’re a great person who has accomplished a lot and still has a lot to prove—get to it!

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    7. Push yourself harder.

    You’ve tried to appreciate all that others have to give, and it’s just not working. That’s fine! Harness that energy you’re wasting on feeling jealous of others and apply it to your own life. Use it to push yourself harder. You know your coworker wants the same promotion as you, so step up your work projects and show that you’re truly the best person for the job. Your friend just booked an art gallery show, so push yourself to practice your instrument harder. Jealousy can easily be funneled into inspiration, so if it’s a feeling you can’t get rid of, at least make it useful!

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    Last Updated on January 18, 2019

    7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

    7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

    Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

    But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

    If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

    1. Limit the time you spend with them.

    First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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    In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

    Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

    2. Speak up for yourself.

    Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

    3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

    This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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    But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

    4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

    Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

    This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

    Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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    5. Change the subject.

    When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

    Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

    6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

    Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

    I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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    You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

    Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

    7. Leave them behind.

    Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

    If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

    That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

    You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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