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7 Ways To Kill The Jealousy Monster Inside You

7 Ways To Kill The Jealousy Monster Inside You

Jealousy is a horrible feeling that weeds its way into your life and relationships before you know it. You might want something someone else has, or feel like they’re happier than you. It might seem like an uncontrollable emotion, but it’s truly not! Whether you’re jealous of co-workers, your partner’s friends, or random people on the street, read these seven ways to kill the jealousy monster inside you.

1. Remember your big accomplishments.

You’re special, too! Just because your coworker gets the promotion you wanted doesn’t mean you haven’t done great work. List out your accomplishments and think about how you got them and what you’ve done since then. You’ll quickly find that you’re just as worthy as the person you’re envying!

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2. Ask yourself if you truly want what others have.

Your friend just got a 52″ TV, and you’re jealous. But do you really want one? He has a huge house, and you have a studio apartment. Plus, you’d rather spend that money on a trip. This goes for anything from physical goods to relationships to career power. Think of the pros and cons of any situation in which you find yourself jealous. Sometimes you’ll realize that not only do you not need what you’re coveting, but you don’t really even want it! That will free your mind and ease the jealous feeling.

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    3. Appreciate your own good fortune.

    Think of where you are in your life and how you got there. Did you just buy your first car? Are you able to save one paycheck each month? Are you surrounded by loving family and amazing friends? You have a lot of good things in your life, and you have a lot of good fortune coming your way. Stop letting jealousy eat you alive and realize that you can better spend that energy on furthering your own success and happiness.

    4. Appreciate that others can do what you can’t.

    How boring would life be if everyone was the same? What if the entire population of your city was applying for your job, and they all had the same qualifications? And participated in the same hobbies on weekends, and went to the same restaurant for dinner? Appreciate that everyone is different. Some people are better in powerful management positions, while maybe you’re better working with people. A friend might be an excellent artist—a quality you’re envious of, but don’t forget that you’re a great musician! Acknowledge that people need to be different, need to be better at various things, and need to do things you can’t just so the world won’t be boring.

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    5. Give.

    If you find that you’re extremely jealous of one person in particular, get to know them better. Try to strike up a friendship. Give them a gift, or be extra kind to them every day. The better you know them, the more you’ll learn about them. This means you might find that they’re in the same boat as you—jealous of someone else, not content with all the wonderful things they have. You might find that they have a lot of problems and need a friend. You might find that they’re someone who can support you as you try to reach their level. Regardless of what comes about with this person, giving to them and being kind will help shape your negative jealousy into another, more positive emotion.

    6. Love yourself.

    Regardless of anything you might feel about anyone else, remember to love yourself. Jealousy is such a negative emotion that it can eat you alive. You’ll start to feel bad all the time and think you’re worthless compared to anyone else. Remind yourself daily—hourly, if you have to!—that this isn’t true. You’re a great person who has accomplished a lot and still has a lot to prove—get to it!

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    7. Push yourself harder.

    You’ve tried to appreciate all that others have to give, and it’s just not working. That’s fine! Harness that energy you’re wasting on feeling jealous of others and apply it to your own life. Use it to push yourself harder. You know your coworker wants the same promotion as you, so step up your work projects and show that you’re truly the best person for the job. Your friend just booked an art gallery show, so push yourself to practice your instrument harder. Jealousy can easily be funneled into inspiration, so if it’s a feeling you can’t get rid of, at least make it useful!

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    Last Updated on May 17, 2019

    This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

    This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

    The pursuit of worthwhile goals is a part of what makes life enjoyable. Being able to set a goal, then see yourself progress towards achieving that goal is an amazing feeling.

    But do you know the biggest obstacle for most people trying to achieve their goals, the silent dream killer that stops people before they ever even get started? That obstacle is the comfort zone, and getting stuck there is bound to derail any efforts you make towards achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.

    If you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to break free from your comfort zone. Let’s take a look at how your life will change once you build up the courage to leave your comfort zone.

    What Is the Comfort Zone?

    The comfort zone is defined as “a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.”

    What stands out to me the most about that definition is the last part: “using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.” How many successful people do you know who deliver a steady level of performance?

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    The goal in life is to continually challenge yourself, and continually improve yourself. And in order to do that, you have move out of your comfort zone. But once you do, your life will start to change in ways you could never have imagined. I know because it’s happening right now in my own life.

    Here’s what I’ve learned.

    1. You will be scared

    Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy. In fact, in can be downright terrifying at times, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little trepidation when you’re embarking on a journey that forces you to try new things.

    So don’t freak out or get overwhelmed when you feel yourself getting a little scared. It’s perfectly normal and all part of the process. What’s important is that you don’t let that fear hold you back. You must continue to take action in the face of fear.

    That’s what separates winners from losers.

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    2. You will fail

    Stepping out of your comfort zone means you’re moving into uncharted territory. You’re trying things that you’ve never tried before, and learning things you’ve never learned before.

    That steep learning curve means you’re not going to get everything right the first time, and you will eventually fail when you move out of your comfort zone. But as long as the failures aren’t catastrophic, it can actually be a good thing to fail because …

    3. You will learn

    Failure is the best teacher. I’ve learned more from each one of my failures than I have from each one of my successes. When you fail small, and fail often, you rapidly increase the rate at which you learn new insights and skills. And that new knowledge, if applied correctly, will eventually lead to your success.

    4. You will see yourself in a different way

    Once you move out of your comfort zone, you immediately prove to yourself that you’re capable of achieving more than you thought was possible. And that will change the way you see yourself.

    Moving forward, you’ll have more confidence in yourself whenever you step out of your comfort zone, and that increased confidence will make it more likely that you continue to step outside your comfort zone. And each time you do, you’ll prove to yourself again and again what you’re really capable of.

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    5. Your peers will see you in a different way

    Whether we want to admit or not, people judge other people. And right now, people view you in a certain way, and they have a certain idea of what you’re capable of. That’s because they’ve become accustomed to seeing you operate in your comfort zone.

    But once you move out of your comfort zone, you’ll prove to other people, as well, that you’re capable of much more than you’ve shown in the past.

    The increased confidence other people place in you will bring about more opportunities than ever before.

    6. Your comfort zone will expand

    The good thing about the comfort zone is that it’s flexible and malleable. With each action you take outside of your comfort zone, it expands. And once you master that new skill or action, it eventually becomes part of your comfort zone.

    This is great news for you because it means that you can constantly increase and improve upon the behaviors that you’re comfortable with. And the more tools and skills you have at your disposal, the easier it will be to achieve your goals.

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    7. You will increase your concentration and focus

    When you’re living inside of your comfort zone, the bulk of your actions are habitual: automatic, subconscious, and requiring limited focus.

    But once you move out of your comfort zone, you no longer rely on those habitual responses. You’re forced to concentrate and focus on the new action in a way you never do in your comfort zone.

    8. You will develop new skills

    Moving out of your comfort zone requires that you develop new skills. One of the many benefits you’ll experience is that you’ll be stepping away from the “limited set of behaviors” and start to develop your ability and expertise in new areas.

    Living inside of your comfort zone only requires a limited skill set, and those skills won’t contribute much to your success. Once you can confidently step outside of your comfort zone and learn a new skill, there’s no limit to how much you can achieve.

    9. You will achieve more than before

    With everything that happens once you move out of your comfort zone, you’re naturally going to achieve more than ever before.

    Your increased concentration and focus will help you develop new skills. Those new skills will change the way you see yourself, encouraging you to step even further out of your comfort zone.

    Featured photo credit: Josef Grunig via farm3.staticflickr.com

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