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7 Ways To Kill The Jealousy Monster Inside You

7 Ways To Kill The Jealousy Monster Inside You

Jealousy is a horrible feeling that weeds its way into your life and relationships before you know it. You might want something someone else has, or feel like they’re happier than you. It might seem like an uncontrollable emotion, but it’s truly not! Whether you’re jealous of co-workers, your partner’s friends, or random people on the street, read these seven ways to kill the jealousy monster inside you.

1. Remember your big accomplishments.

You’re special, too! Just because your coworker gets the promotion you wanted doesn’t mean you haven’t done great work. List out your accomplishments and think about how you got them and what you’ve done since then. You’ll quickly find that you’re just as worthy as the person you’re envying!

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2. Ask yourself if you truly want what others have.

Your friend just got a 52″ TV, and you’re jealous. But do you really want one? He has a huge house, and you have a studio apartment. Plus, you’d rather spend that money on a trip. This goes for anything from physical goods to relationships to career power. Think of the pros and cons of any situation in which you find yourself jealous. Sometimes you’ll realize that not only do you not need what you’re coveting, but you don’t really even want it! That will free your mind and ease the jealous feeling.

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    3. Appreciate your own good fortune.

    Think of where you are in your life and how you got there. Did you just buy your first car? Are you able to save one paycheck each month? Are you surrounded by loving family and amazing friends? You have a lot of good things in your life, and you have a lot of good fortune coming your way. Stop letting jealousy eat you alive and realize that you can better spend that energy on furthering your own success and happiness.

    4. Appreciate that others can do what you can’t.

    How boring would life be if everyone was the same? What if the entire population of your city was applying for your job, and they all had the same qualifications? And participated in the same hobbies on weekends, and went to the same restaurant for dinner? Appreciate that everyone is different. Some people are better in powerful management positions, while maybe you’re better working with people. A friend might be an excellent artist—a quality you’re envious of, but don’t forget that you’re a great musician! Acknowledge that people need to be different, need to be better at various things, and need to do things you can’t just so the world won’t be boring.

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    5. Give.

    If you find that you’re extremely jealous of one person in particular, get to know them better. Try to strike up a friendship. Give them a gift, or be extra kind to them every day. The better you know them, the more you’ll learn about them. This means you might find that they’re in the same boat as you—jealous of someone else, not content with all the wonderful things they have. You might find that they have a lot of problems and need a friend. You might find that they’re someone who can support you as you try to reach their level. Regardless of what comes about with this person, giving to them and being kind will help shape your negative jealousy into another, more positive emotion.

    6. Love yourself.

    Regardless of anything you might feel about anyone else, remember to love yourself. Jealousy is such a negative emotion that it can eat you alive. You’ll start to feel bad all the time and think you’re worthless compared to anyone else. Remind yourself daily—hourly, if you have to!—that this isn’t true. You’re a great person who has accomplished a lot and still has a lot to prove—get to it!

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    7. Push yourself harder.

    You’ve tried to appreciate all that others have to give, and it’s just not working. That’s fine! Harness that energy you’re wasting on feeling jealous of others and apply it to your own life. Use it to push yourself harder. You know your coworker wants the same promotion as you, so step up your work projects and show that you’re truly the best person for the job. Your friend just booked an art gallery show, so push yourself to practice your instrument harder. Jealousy can easily be funneled into inspiration, so if it’s a feeling you can’t get rid of, at least make it useful!

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    Last Updated on November 15, 2018

    Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

    Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

    What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

    As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

    The Success Mindset

    Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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    The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

    The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

    The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

    How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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    How To Create a Success Mindset

    People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

    1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

    How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

    A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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    There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

    2. Look For The Successes

    It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

    3. Eliminate Negativity

    You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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    When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

    4. Create a Vision

    Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

    If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

    An Inspirational Story…

    For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

    What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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