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7 Things People With Hidden Depression Do

7 Things People With Hidden Depression Do

People who feel depressed are usually easy enough to spot: they may be gloomy, sad, and listless. But what about those who have hidden depression? They may an be extrovert and good company! This is the problem with concealed depression as these sufferers are experts in disguising the real situation. How can we spot them, and how can we help? Here are 10 typical things that people with hidden depression do to help us understand that something is not quite right.

1. They may be outgoing and cheerful

Researchers at the University of Rochester Medical Center found that depression was hard to spot when people had a cheerful disposition, especially if they were elderly. The research team had thought that the introverts would be the ones who would have difficulty in coming out about their depression but it seems that the opposite may be true. We should not take it for granted that a cheerful and sociable person may be immune from depression. We should be on the look out for some indicative signs and above all, we should always be empathic listeners.

2. They may hide their depression

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    There is some interesting research on the attitude that Europeans and Australians have towards depression. There is so much stigma attached to depression in Australia that many sufferers are determined not to reveal it at all. They may feel embarrassed or simply fear that they may lose their job – reflected in the number of sick days taken because of mental health problems. The figures show that Australians were taking off 14 days for a bout of depression compared to an average of 36 days for Europeans.

    3. They may need healing or closure from some past trauma

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      Imagine the perfect hostess: she has great kids, a rewarding career and a stable marriage. It still may be that there is a painful episode in that person’s life which has never been properly healed. Psychologists have an acronym for this type of person which is the PHDP (Perfectly-Hidden-Depressed Person). The outward display of confidence and happiness is in sharp contrast to what is going on inside. The problem is often ignored, especially by the sufferer who may end up committing suicide. The tragedy is that nobody was ever able to spot the signs, or that the sufferer never had the courage to talk to someone. We should always listen carefully when a friend or loved one talks to us about exhaustion and anxiety.

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      4. They may have abnormal eating habits

      Most experts now believe that there may be a strong link between eating disorders and depression. These are two separate illnesses; though one may lead to the other, or they may arise simultaneously. More and more men are suffering from eating disorders. There may be many causes such as media pressures, body image/exercise, and depression. If you notice that a loved one has appetite changes, try to talk to her/him about them and urge them to get treatment. Hidden depression may well be the trigger here.

      5. They may be non-committal about their happiness

      Very often, people with hidden depression display a lack of enthusiasm for things they used to love doing. If the person claims that they are certainly not depressed but they just don’t care anymore, this may well be a sign that something is amiss. If you read Eve Wood’s book, 10 Steps to Take Charge of Your Emotional Life, you will find more examples of how discovering self-empowerment can be the answer to coming to terms with depression and anxiety. There are also useful chapters on how counseling, medication, or alternative treatments are possible treatment options. Getting the person to talk about their problems is usually the first step in seeking treatment.

      6. They may display irritation and anger

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        We usually associate depression with apathy, helplessness, melancholic thoughts and crying. But there are other symptoms of depression which often go undetected because they are simply dismissed as temporary outbursts. They are assumed to be just blips on a person’s radar and can be safely ignored – the truth is that angry outbursts and being irritable are often manifestations of depression. Many men choose this way of expressing their depression.

        7. They may not be getting enough sleep

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          If your loved one is complaining about not getting enough sleep (or even oversleeping), it could be a warning sign that there is something wrong. These sleep problems may be just the outward sign of a deeper and more troubling cause which could be anxiety, lethargy or depression. Sleep problems and depression are very often closely connected. It is always worth probing gently to find out what the cause might be, if the person is prepared to open up.

          Many cases of depression go undetected and untreated, often with tragic results. Between 10% to 15% of people with severe, untreated depression commit suicide. As we have seen above, people may hide it or fake it. Sometimes, they just keep it a dark secret which they never want to reveal. In addition, there are those who have a different public image from their own private and tormented selves. The challenge is to look out for possible signs and help the person to get treatment.

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          photo credit: Pinterest

          Featured photo credit: Sad child./anthony kelly via flickr.com

          More by this author

          Robert Locke

          Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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          Last Updated on September 12, 2019

          12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

          12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

          Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

          While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

          What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

          Here are 12 things to remember:

          1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

          The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

          However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

          We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

          Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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          2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

          You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

          Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

          Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

          3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

          Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

          Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

          4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

          Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

          No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

          5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

          Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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          Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

          6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

          Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

          Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

          Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

          7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

          Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

          Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

          And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

          8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

          When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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          Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

          9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

          Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

          Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

          Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

          10. Journal During This Time

          Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

          This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

          11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

          It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

          The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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          Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

          12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

          The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

          Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

          When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

          Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

          Final Thoughts

          Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

          Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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          Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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