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7 Signs You Should Move On From Your Relationship

7 Signs You Should Move On From Your Relationship

Can you salvage anything from the wreckage, you ask yourself? Is it really time to move on? These are all tricky questions to answer. One of the biggest problems is that we become so attached to routine we cannot envisage even moving out of familiar territory and into unexplored lands. Here are 7 signs you might want to consider before making the big decision to give up on a relationship and move on.

1. The joy is gone

If you find that the joy has disappeared, there must be a reason. Every relationship cannot be euphoric all the time, but there should be plenty of contentment and laughter. If you find that you are suffering or that your potential to be happy is continually thwarted because of your partner’s actions and words, then it may be time to think this through. If you are often resentful or weepy, there are cracks in your relationship which may be beyond repair.

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“Sexiness wears thin after a while, and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that’s a real treat.” – Joanne Woodward

2. You are replaying too many conversations

You know the scenario. You go over and over again in your mind and listen to all those replays! You know the ones where you lost it and shouted or the ones where you were perfectly reasonable and calm. This is a sure sign that shame and regret have crept into the relationship and are becoming leading actors.

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3. You are no longer a team

It is a bad sign if you get the feeling that you are making all the effort while your partner has opted out. Actually, being in a well-functioning team of two is essential for any relationship to thrive. When you realize that you are the one who is going the extra mile, resentment begins to seep through the cracks. You rightly feel that it should not be all one-way traffic.You are the one who is always punctual, patient, understanding and helpful. How come?

4. Your partner tries to please others, but not you

He or she goes out of their way to be generous and patient with other people. It is when you realize that you do not get a fraction of that attention and loving care that you begin to wonder why you are in this relationship at all. Your contact with him or her is becoming sporadic. When you start hearing excuses about work commitments and other engagements, it may be a sign of distancing before the actual break up.

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5. Small skirmishes turn into a full-scale war

Remember those times when your tics and fads were always a bit of a joke and you both tolerated them? When these little issues turn into major drama and end in fights all the time, it may be a sign that you should be thinking of moving on. Before you know it, you find that even the little things like the way you dress and how you look are becoming war zones. Why is this now an issue? You seem to spend more and more time recovering from the bombs dropped by the drones. What is the hidden agenda?

6. Trust has been eroded

When a relationship is flourishing, love, security, and peace are the fruits of complete trust. If the trust has been eroded or damaged in any way, fear and suspicion take over. Perhaps the trust has been irrevocably damaged because of infidelity, hurt, or separation. This may occur when lying takes over or honesty is questioned. Being completely transparent in any relationship is the foundation stone. Once that is altered, the building starts to shake.

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“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” – Stephen Covey

7. The relationship has turned toxic

We all avoid toxic environments, food, and people. There is a very good reason for this, as these things are harmful to our health. When a relationship turns toxic, it drains you of all the energy and joy of living. You are derided and mocked. You certainly do not feel that you can act in a relaxed and carefree way when you are in their company. There is far too much walking on eggshells. The worst part of a toxic relationship is when you feel trapped by your partner’s judgements and never feel supported.

These are the 7 signs that you are not reaching your full potential for happiness in a relationship which is holding you back and suffocating you. It may well be time to move on.

Featured photo credit: No matter what happens in life … if you will learn to let it go and move forward, then your past doesn’t have to poison your future /BK via flickr.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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