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7 Reasons Why Some Relationships Don’t Work

7 Reasons Why Some Relationships Don’t Work

Is your relationship making you unhappy? If you feel content and positive, it is likely you are in a happy and healthy relationship. However, sometimes relationships can turn sour and you can be left with no idea what to do, or who to turn to.

Here’re seven reasons why some relationships just don’t work.

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1. They have a relationship checklist.

While it is important to learn what you like and dislike in a relationship, a great relationship is based in the heart rather than the mind. Creating a list of qualities a partner must have leads to high expectations and demands, and often takes away a lot of surprise and fun. Believe in your intuition and get rid of the list.

2. They are overly critical to each other.

Honesty is important in a relationship, but being with someone who is extremely critical can lower your self-esteem and make you feel depressed. Critical behaviour includes insulting your weight, height, appearance, friends, style or job, while making you feel worthless. Ask yourself: are these comments honest, or unnecessary?

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3. They don’t deal with jealousy.

Relationships should be supportive and loving. However, jealousy can often rear its ugly head in relationships. Some of the main warning signs are: acting irrationally angry when the other person receives good news, such as making a new friend or finding a job, demanding to know personal or private information, being angry if their partner talks to the opposite sex, or irrationally accusing them of lying or cheating.

4. They think that honesty is not important.

Telling a white lie won’t end a relationship, but dishonesty about important issues shows a lack of respect for your partner’s feelings. Continued dishonestly leads to mistrust, upset and anger, so it is important to be open during difficult times. In a strong relationship, you should be able to say yes to both of these questions: do I trust my partner to be honest? Can my partner expect the same of me?

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5. They blame each other unfairly.

Blaming someone constantly and without reason is emotional abuse, and often the person being blamed starts to believe they are in the wrong, making them feel guilty and upset for not thinking themselves “good enough.” It is important (and emotionally mature) to take responsibility for our own actions, and to treat the person you are in a relationship with respectfully.

6. They are emotionally immature.

Relationship maturity doesn’t come with age; it is a willingness to work at a relationship, accept blame, and compromise. Beware of starting a relationship with someone who gets angry over nothing. At the beginning of a relationship, most people try their hardest to avoid fights, so be aware of how they behave in certain situations, or how they treat other people. Sometimes emotionally immature people are willing to learn how to mature and grow, but be careful, pushing or forcing someone to change is also immature.

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7. They just want to control each other.

Being in a relationship with someone who is controlling is often emotionally exhausting. Trying to please a controlling person is difficult, as they often want you to live life by their rules, not your own, which can leave you feeling unfulfilled. Watch out for these signs: they tell you how to dress or act, they check your phone or emails, they show up at your home without being invited and they may go through your belongings without permission.

What else can stop relationships from working? Comment with your ideas below!

Featured photo credit: Young Couple Man and Woman Hugging in Love Romantic Outdoor with forest nature on background Fashion trendy style via shutterstock.com

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Amy Johnson

Freelance writer, editor and social media manager.

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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