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7 Powerful Questions That Will Save Your Relationships

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7 Powerful Questions That Will Save Your Relationships

The most important thing in any relationship is communication. Without communication, trust issues can develop. Without talking, you eventually lose touch with your significant other even when you live with them. It’s ironic really because there aren’t words to describe how important it is to communicate. Even something as simple as a well-timed question can save your relationship. Here are some powerful questions that could do just that.

1. What made you feel good about yourself today?

Asking this question can change someone’s entire mood. It makes your significant other think about the good things that happened to them today and that can take their minds off of the bad things. If you’re significant other has been in the dumps lately, they may be thinking of making drastic changes. Drastic changes may or may not include re-thinking the status of your relationship. It’s always good to remind your loved one that you care and that you want to be there for the bad times.

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2. What has been making you feel alone and unworthy?

Save Your Relationships

    Experience dictates that the answer to this question is something that’s very simple to fix. For instance, in my own current relationship, my girlfriend told me she feels alone even when I’m in the room because I play on my phone too much. When I do that, I don’t pay attention. When I finally asked her this question and she told me, I simply started putting my phone down when I spent time with her. Problem solved! A lot of relationships experience turmoil over small lapses in judgement like the one I made. If you figure out what’s been eating at your boyfriend or girlfriend, chances are you can fix it before it’s too late.

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    3. What have I done recently that helped you feel loved and appreciated?

    Much like the first question, this one allows your loved one to think about the good things you do. This can derail bad feelings, end arguments, and put things back on track. When a relationship is going sideways, it’s really easy to point out the bad things but sometimes that gets in the way of remembering the good things. It sounds bad, but sometimes you do need to beat your own drum to let your lover know that you do good things also. The trick is doing it so that they don’t feel guilty about not thinking about it more often. That can just lead to more fighting and more issues. When couples are in bad relationships, they obviously need to talk about the problems to fix them. However, it’s also important to bring up the good things so that you two aren’t just putting each other down the whole time.

    4. What scares you about our relationship?

    Commitment is a big deal, especially for men. However, don’t think that there aren’t women out there who also have commitment problems. Sometimes it helps to ask this question to find out what the deeper problems are. Maybe s/he doesn’t think you’re parent material. Maybe they are scared of commitment. Maybe they simply can’t see themselves spending their entire life with you. If there is a fatal flaw in your relationship, this question can usually flush it out. The best you can hope for is that the problems are something that can be fixed.

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    5. How much have you loved yourself lately?

    Save Your Relationships

      This is also another one that’s happened to me personally. Last year was a tough year for me and my girlfriend went above and beyond to help me through the tough time. Of course, that meant that she ended up neglecting herself. When we started fighting about it, she told me she felt smothered. This can happen to you too! If your significant other cares more about the relationship than him/herself, then they may neglect their own needs. Ask this question so you can figure out if that’s happening to you. If it is, then it’s time you stepped up and started giving back to your partner. It’ll make them feel better and it may very well save your relationship.

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      6. What can I do better?

      Sometimes the problem really is you. It may not be your fault. There may be a habit or a behavioral trait that just drives your man or woman up a wall. A good way to figure out what that thing might be is to simply ask. Pretty much everyone has a laundry list of things they dislike about their significant other. If you can get a peek at that mental list, you can work on not doing those things anymore. Or at least work on not doing them when s/he is around.

      7. Is there anything we need to talk about?

      This is an open ended question but it’s one you should ask fairly frequently. You shouldn’t ask it every day or even every week but you definitely should every few months. Life is an ever-changing ball of chaos and things just go wrong. Your boyfriend or girlfriend may be experiencing a tough time at work or a family member may be ill. It’s important to find out what the problems are as soon as possible. There are some things you can’t fix but you can be there for them while they deal with it. Relationships are all about sharing the joy of life but also sharing the pain of life. If you’re not sharing their pain, your lover is handling it all on their own. Eventually that’ll lead to problems.

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      Relationships are fickle things. There are ups and downs and it’s a general roller coaster ride of chaos. Your only defense against things going totally out of control is the ability to open your mouth and aurally express your feelings so that everyone in the relationship knows what’s going on. If you don’t do that, your relationship will inevitably fail.

      Featured photo credit: Yayo MG via yayomg.com

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      Joseph Hindy

      A writer, editor, and YouTuber who likes to share about technology and lifestyle tips.

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      Last Updated on January 24, 2022

      21 Best Tips On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work

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      21 Best Tips On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work

      Having texting and video conferencing at our fingertips, it appears that maintaining a long-distance relationship is easier than ever. Long-distance calls are no longer a luxury; the days when they needed to be rationed are long gone.

      Long-distance couples do not have to depend on 3 p.m. postal delivery, waiting for news that is at best four days old.

      Now we’re no longer even in the days of waiting for our loved ones to check their e-mail when they get home from work. Instant messaging keeps us hooked to each other even when we are out shopping, working, playing, watching a movie and doing much more.

      Technology, however, cannot compensate for everything in a long-distance relationship, as anyone with a long-distance relationship will tell you.

      Many long-distance relationships still seem emotionally difficult despite the lack of regular physical proximity.

      People often think long-distance relationships will never work. It may be discouraged by your family, and some of your best friends may tell you not to take it too seriously in case you end up heartbroken.

      Many things are not possible due to the extra distance – no one can promise it will be easy. Things could get complicated, and you might feel lonely and sad at times.

      Still, many of us try them.

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      However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest. Being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, feeling each other’s touch, taking a walk together, smelling each other’s hair… these small wishes could suddenly mean so much more in a long-distance relationship.

      Long-distance relationships may be tough, but they have their own surprises too.

      Here’re 21 tips on how to make a long distance relationship work:

      1. Avoid excessive communication.

      It is unwise to be overly “sticky” and possessive. You two don’t really have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples think that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more. This is not true. And it might only make things worse. Soon you would get tired of “loving.”

      Remember: Less is more. It is not about spamming — you are only going to exhaust yourselves. It’s really about teasing at the right moments and tugging at the right spots.

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      2. See it as an opportunity.

      “If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” – Anonymous

      View it as a learning journey for both of you. This is an opportunity for you to prove your love for one another. According to a Chinese proverb, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” Instead of thinking that this long-distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger.

      As Emma says it to Will in season four of Glee,

      “I would rather be here, far from you, but feeling really close, rather than close to you but feeling really far away.” – Emma, Glee Season 4

      3. Set some ground rules to manage your expectations.

      Both of you need to be clear with what you expect of each other during this long-distance relationship. Set some ground rules so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise.

      For instance, are you two exclusive? Is it all right for the other person to go on dates? What is your commitment level? It’s better to be open with each other about all these things.

      4. Try to communicate regularly, and creatively.

      Greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day — this is a must. On top of that, try to update your partner on your life and its happenings, however mundane some of the things may seem.

      To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips, and short videos from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to.

      5. Talk dirty with each other.

      Sexual tension is undoubtedly one of the most important things between couples. In a way, sexual desire is like the glue that keeps both parties from drifting apart. Sexual need is not only biological but also emotional.

      Keep the flames burning by sending each other teasing texts filled with sexual innuendos and provocative descriptions. Sexy puns work pretty well too.

      6. Avoid “dangerous” situations.

      If you already know that going to the club or going drinking with your group of friends late at night will displease your partner, then you should either 1. Not do it or 2. Tell your partner beforehand to reassure them.

      You should not let this sort of thing slip by because it will only make your partner extra worried or suspicious – and of course, very upset because they will feel powerless or lack control over the situation.

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      You can fall victim to your traps by going out with eye candy from work after work or dating someone from your past who has been flirting with you without realizing it. Before entering a dangerous situation, you need to recognize the dangers.

      Listen to your heart, but don’t just rely on it. Make sure you also listen to your mind.

      7. Do things together.

      Play a game online together. Watch a documentary at the same time on YouTube or Vimeo. Share a song on Skype while another plays the guitar. Video-call each other and go for a walk together. Together, go online shopping – and buy each other gifts (see #13).

      You really have to be creative and spontaneous about it.

      8. Do similar things.

      Recommend books, TV shows, movies, music, news and etc., to each other. When you read, watch and listen to the same things, you get to have more topics in common to talk about.

      Even if you live apart, it’s nice to have some shared experiences.

      9. Make visits to each other.

      Every long-distance relationship is enriched by visits.

      After all the waiting and yearning and abstinence, you finally get to meet each other to fulfil all the little things like kissing, holding hands, etc. These are typical for couples in long-distance relationships but more special and intimate for long-distance couples.

      The atmosphere will be filled with fireworks, glitter bombs, confetti, rainbows, and butterflies.

      10. Have a goal in mind.

      Are we going to be apart for a long time?” “what about the future?” These are the questions you should ask yourselves.

      In fact, a couple cannot stay in a long-distance relationship forever. Eventually, we all need to settle down.

      So make a plan with each other. Set up a timeline, mark down the estimated times apart and times together, and draw an end goal.

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      It is important that you two are on the same page and have the same goals. So that even if you are not living in the same space and the same timezone, both of you are still motivated to work together in the same direction towards a future that includes one another.

      That’s right, you need some motivation to make a relationship last too. Find out more about what motivates you here.

      11. Enjoy your alone time and your time with your friends and family.

      You are alone, but you are not lonely unless you choose to feel like it. You don’t have to let your world revolve around your partner — you still have you, your friends, and your family. Take this time apart to do more with your friends and family. Go to the gym more often. Get a new hobby. Binge-watch shows. There are plenty of things for you to do that don’t involve your partner.

      12. Stay honest with each other.

      Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from the inside out. Don’t try to deal with things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need. It’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late.

      13. Know each other’s schedules.

      It’s helpful to know when the other person is busy and free. So that you can drop a text or make a call at the right time. You wouldn’t want to disturb your partner when they are in the middle of class or halfway through a business meeting. Make sure you are aware of everyone’s small and big events in their lives, i.e., college midterms and exams, important business trips and meetings, job interviews, etc. Particularly if you live in different time zones, this becomes more important.

      14. Keep track of each other’s social media activities.

      Facebook and Instagram photos of each other. Send each other tweets. Tag each other on Facebook. Post stuff on each other’s wall. Let them know you care. Be cool with stalking each other.

      15. Gift a personal object for the other person to hold on to.

      Memories have power. No matter what it is–a pendant, a ring, a keychain, a collection of songs and videos, or a perfume bottle. Everyday items and things have meanings to us, whether we realize it or not. We all try to store memories in material things so that when our minds fail, we will still be able to look at or hold onto something that will help us recall our memories. This is why something so simple can mean so much to a person when others may see little or no value in it.

      16. Get a good messaging app.

      This is extremely important because texting is the most frequent and common way of communication the two of you have. You need a good messaging app on your phones that allows interactions beyond words and emoticons.

      Personally, I use this messaging app called LINE. I find it highly effective because it has a huge reserve of playful and very funny “stickers” that are free for its users to use. You can also go to the app’s “Sticker Shop” to download (or gift!) extra stickers of different themes (e.g., Hello Kitty, Pokemon, Snoopy, MARVEL, etc.) at a low price. Occasionally, the app will give out free sticker sets for promotions. This messaging app is cute and easy to learn to use.

      17. Snail-mail your gift.

      Mail each other postcards and hand-written love letters. Send each other gifts across the globe from time to time. Flower deliveries on birthdays, anniversaries, and Valentine’s Day. Shop online and surprise each other with cool T-shirts, sexy underwear, and such.

      18. Stay positive.

      You need to constantly inject positive energy into the long-distance relationship to keep it alive. Yes, the waiting can be painful, and you can sometimes feel lonely, but you need to remind yourself that the fruits at the end will be sweet as heaven.

      One good trick to staying positive is to be grateful all the time. Be thankful that you have someone to love — someone who also loves you back. Be thankful for the little things, like the hand-made letter that arrived safely in your mailbox the other day. Be thankful for each other’s health and safety.

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      19. Keep each other updated on each other’s friends and family.

      This will help you two to know each other’s culture and values. Knowing small habits of each other helps in developing an understanding and building mutual trust.

      Talking about family and friends gives you more matters to talk about. The best thing to talk about is gossip and scandals.

      20. Video-call whenever possible.

      Because sometimes looking into each other’s eyes and hearing each other’s voices can make everything feel alright again.

      A video call is though nothing like being together, but it’s the best thing and the most to do for coziness in a long-distance relationship.

      21. Give each other pet names.

      Because it’s cute. It keeps the lovey-dovey going. Having special names for each other reserved only for one another are heart-warming. Hearing that one word with love lifts our spirits up, and we feel assured all over again.

      Chaos seems to fade away just by hearing that special word from someone special.

      With the best wishes…

      Love (or like) is a force that is beyond your control. Love just happens. The same goes for turning off those feelings, even when you get the perfect job halfway across the country.

      Neither one of us expects to be long-distance in a relationship. But if you’re in a relationship like this, you’ll just have to make the most out of a difficult situation. These advice for long distance relationships will hopefully help you stay strong and cheerful when living apart from one another.

      More Recommended Relationships Experts on Lifehack
      • Carol Morgan —  A communication professor, dating/relationship and success coach
      • Dr. Magdalena Battles — A Doctor of Psychology with specialties include children, family relationships, domestic violence, and sexual assault
      • Randy Skilton —  An educator in the areas of relationships and self-help

      Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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